Not All Things With 4 Legs at a Barn Are Horses

Jesse is the newest canine addition to my ever growing menagerie of a family. She is a 9 month old German Shepherd with the energy of a nuclear reactor. Like she pretty much puts off clouds of excess energy because she's got too much to store within herself. She has HUGE paws but forgot that she needed to keep growing so we've got a miniature German Shepherd with paws bigger than Kiba, my 100+ pound Shepherd.

I initially brought her to the barn to let her run off a bit of steam and help her sleep at night. Within a week she had buns of steel and biceps/shoulders a body builder would be jealous of from how much she ran. So I screwed the pooch on that one. Not only did she get in great shape which means she needs MORE running time to make her tired, she also eats about as much as both adult dogs put together.

Jesse has gone through some learning phases already and has experienced each and every one at the barn. The first and easiest phase to make it through was the "Everything is freaking scary" stage. Mom! That horse breathed at me! Mom, I think I saw a mouse! Mom, when I put my foot in that dirt it was wet and got on my leg! Mom, Ma, Mamma, Mommy! The poor dog got stepped on so much by running under my feet I guess it's not a wonder that her paws are the size of dinner plates.

The next phase she came to was the exploration phase. Once she realized that nothing was out to kill her and dance on her mangled body, she went polar opposite in her attitude and decided everything must be explored! Jesse the conquistador. Kids were cool, horses were big dogs (or she was a small horse), mud was cool and comfortable, and mice were fun to chase! She never let me too far out of her sight/range of hearing, but she gnawed off the umbilical cord and became her own dog.

The most embarrassing phase she's gone through is the racism phase. All dogs go through this phase, some are more noticeable than others. Our barn is diverse and multicultural/ethnic which I really like. One day it's like Jesse had explored everything, turned her attention to a Hispanic man she'd been around tons of times before and lost her mind. I don't know if she's freaked out that not everyone looks like mommy and daddy but I was beyond embarrassed. I was as embarrassed as those parents whose children ask if a larger lady is pregnant or if a teenager with acne has been bit by mosquitos. Mortified. We aren't quite out of this phase yet.

Right now we are in the rebellious, "I do what I want, you're not my real mom" phase. I wasn't ready for this phase yet. I was in denial about the arrival of this phase. I was hoping she was so happy-go-lucky that she would skirt this phase and we'd be through it in days. Wrong. This independent, hard headed, happy, and energetic puppy bull dozed into this phase with as much gusto as she bull dozes over my shoes in the hallway (I think she aims at them). She not only thinks horses want to play with her at all times and trots barely a step in front of them when they're being ridden, she now turns around and barks at their noses. She doesn't come when I call her, in fact, when I call her she acknowledges me and runs in the opposite direction. She eats horse feed after being scolded not to. She doesn't get in her kennel when told. She still barks at people of other ethnicities. She annoys the other dogs at the barn by pouncing on their sleeping bodies. And she does all of this and runs her head off for 6 hours straight at the barn!

She's great to help desensitize the horses and it's awesome to watch her air-headed acrobatics when chasing a dragonfly. She's always so happy which I envy and love very much. But I am just not ready to accept my innocent puppy has turned into a manipulative monster of a free thinking dog. Unfortunately, if I want to bring her to the barn for much longer and if she enjoys being out there, a "Come to Jesus" meeting must be had between her and I and our trusty friend, the E-Collar. There can be no nipping of heels or barking at horses.

E-Collar, meet Jesse. Jesse, meet the new version of a spanking that will blow your mind cause I don't have to be within arm's reach.