Writing this post, I feel like J.K. Rowling about to release an unannounced Harry Potter book minus the billions of fans, the creativity, the notoriety, and the million dollar check in the mail. But I'm sure you aren't interested in my less than cushy lifestyle or my lack of creative writing skills. Aside from the fact that you should now be tallying up my Harry Potter references, our playday was a smashing success!
The day started out splendidly. Cool weather, football and donuts. While we were slightly late arriving at the barn, I had prepared the night before and brushed all the horses and put coolers on them so that I had minimal grooming to do in the AM (that's right, show experience shining through a bit). I decided Panda's costume was going to be a Chip N' Dales dancer and I would be a bachelorette. It was easy, upside down bell boots, a WHOLE lot of gel to make his mane stick up like a Mohawk, and a bowtie. I was planning on a black sweater dress with my riding apparel on underneath of it. Anyway, when I checked outside at 9 that morning it was bordering on chilly.
Hold on to your pants, you're about to get a few lessons right now. Weather first. So in Texas we don't have quite the dramatic temperature changes throughout the day as a desert does but we come mighty close. Closer than pretty much any other climate. So just because it's 62 degrees at 9am does not mean it will be that way in 3 hours. In fact, it almost definitely will NOT be that way in 3 hours. Fast forward to me in breeches, tall socks, boots, a tank top and a sweater dress in 75 degree weather with 90% humidity. Hot and grumpy.
I debated on which lesson to impart you with next but it seems like vocabulary makes the most sense. I would like to introduce you to the word "hangry." It is from American roots and means someone who is in dire need of sustenance and due to malnutrition is very touchy, on edge, and downright impossible to be around. Hangry. I was hangry. Which brings us to the science lesson of the day. Sugar does not a well rounded breakfast make. I don't care how "magically delicious" or "grrrrrrreat" something is, if it's straight sugar you need to pack a snack. And probably fit in a workout sometime in your near future. So donuts at 9 does not correspond to a feeling of fullness at 1:30 pm. In fact, the sugar high was over and I was now plummeting off a sugar cliff into a land where no one can make me happy. No one ever.
Needless to say, the costume contest was not as fun for me as it might've been. But I was planning on not doing too hot in that anyway so there were no tears shed. While the costume contest was fun, I'm not going into gory detail because most of what I remember were bad words and people moving too slowly. I'm going to jump to the part where my boyfriend got smart and shoved a hotdog and a Dr. Pepper in my hand and all the world was filled with rainbows and unicorns pooping hundred dollar bills.
The events commenced without too much of an issue. First was poles. The boys showed us how it was done, mostly. They galloped their ponies down, weaved the poles up and back and galloped back to the finish line. After 2 of the boys went I was about to raise my hand and ask if we were mandatory drug testing horses because I was pretty sure no horse naturally moves as fast as those ponies were going. Finally we come to my turn. Here I am summoning up my courage and fighting down the burning feeling in my stomach that is nerves and I ask about penalties. "Penalties?!" they laugh, but we end up deciding a pole down is 5 seconds. Off I go. I got smart and got a running start before the line so we were at cruising speed when we reached it but I didn't bank on how long it would take to slow Panda down and turn him so we blew past the end of the poles. Back on course I decided to trot down which was fantastic. So fantastic that I decided, "Hey, I can canter these back!" Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. After breaking into a canter, Panda decided that weaving poles is for people without any brain cels. I told him that was me and I wanted him to do it so he half-way complied but it was too late. With the pole halfway down and continuing to fall, Panda did what I've been training him to do, he jumped it. I didn't think it was bad at all but judging by the collective gasp from the crowd I will thank my lucky stars I stayed on. We sat in third place all the way till the last rider edged us out by a fraction of a second.
The flag race made us all a bit nervous. Not many people practice waving a small stick with cloth on it around our horses while riding. For good reason as most of our horses are scared of their own shadows! I was in a dressage saddle on a horse that doesn't turn and on top of all that, I don't have a death wish. We trotted to pick the flag up and then cantered around the barrels to drop it off. Altogether uneventful, especially since I was expecting Panda to break into a full "airs above the ground" routine. I may have cheated a bit... Our little arena boy was running back and forth to get the flag from the bucket we dropped it in to the bucket we pick it up from so I just asked him to try and scare my horse with it before we got going. That's totally kosher right?!
I forgot to mention in the flag race that again, we got shown up by the younger boys. Barrels went about the same way. We all thought we made pretty good runs at the barrels and then they made their runs. And we cried a lot as they did flips and high-fived from the backs of their ponies. This really isn't as fictitious as it sounds. I was completely pleased. We cantered 2 barrels and one of them Panda really dug in and turned around it. I'd like to thank the training he has but I was reminded that horses aren't fond of falling down and when you're going that fast and turning that tight they tend to get their legs under themselves and figure things out pretty quickly. Either way, it wasn't bad. I think I even got third place!
Key hole was incredible for so many different reasons. First being that I literally had NO idea what it was. I looked at the pattern and thought it was pretty easy. Then they spray painted the pattern on the ground and I still was ok with it until I asked the question everyone was wondering, "Do we go inside that pattern or outside?" I got laughed at. Apparently it's obvious that a 16 hand horse that can't walk straight should be able to plant all 4 hooves in an area no wider than 6 inches!!! Ok, maybe a little wider but talk about butterflies! On top of that, I had to go SECOND (thank heavens I was not first). I believe my words to Amanda, who went first, were, "Come on Amanda! Show us how it's done! Cause I really don't know..." I pulled it together and figured we might as well just trot. So I took my time, trotted Panda around to get a consistent speed, crossed the start line, AND HE STAYED IN THE LINES!!! So that alone made me ecstatic. Then chaos. I didn't think about turning a bit right once we got into the larger area where we had to make the turn. So I yanked his face left and tried to use my leg. Then we were going too left so I yanked his face right. Poor horse probably should've started bucking or rearing or refusing to do anything at this point. I don't know what possessed me to gallop as fast as I could back down the 6 inch span of dirt but I cowgirled up and we flew down to the finish line accompanied by cheers. My time was 12.6 seconds. Telling me that was like telling me that what the word for jello is in Chinese. I thought that was by far my worst ride but people were, like, legitimately impressed with it. Who knew?! I ended up first in that event!
So aside from learning a few western events that I was previously blind to, I really learned to kick loose and have fun! A good gallop never hurt anyone as long as you and your horse are working together, listening to each other, and not out of control. It's good to have fun on a horse and expand your horizons. I especially learned to tell my nerves to take a hike and to think logically about what my horse and I are capable of, what's safe to attempt, and strategize how we can do our best with the skills we have. I can't wait to do another one and I'm even more ready to start showing!
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
To Be Or Not To Be... Disappointed
Today was lesson day, for once I wasn't teaching, I was taking. I look forward to Thursdays like someone looks forward to a root canal (no they aren't bad, just go with me!), nervous about going through it but totally and completely aware that when it's over they're going to feel awesome, or at least better. Today was no exception.
Generally I ride Marvel in lessons but we've identified some huge issues/holes in Panda's basic training that I need help teaching to him so I hopped on Panda and succumbed to the mercy of creative minds. Panda has excelled greatly and exceeded pretty much all of our expectations for where he is now compared to where he was. I've probably been working him a total of a month and a half and even then, not riding him every single day.
So today we warmed up as usual. Walk, trot, canter, no problems (at this point there better not be!). Trotted a few times over an X with a slight bending and turning problem, but no jump problems. Reversed directions and jumped the X and we hit our first speed bump. Apparently my half-seat is less of a half-seat and more of a forward and paused post as we skim over the jump and continue on our way. Try as I might (and I did try several more times) I couldn't understand how to fix the issue so instead I held my half-seat on the approach to the jump (hey there hunter ring, didn't expect to see you back in my life). Ok. We did well enough.
If you've ready my previous post about our prep for the playday this weekend you'll know turning is not our forte. By our, I mean Panda's because I realize that turning gets us new places and he's still stuck on the idea that the world is, indeed, flat and also endless and one should be able to go straight till they get tired. The exercise we were working on included several [tight] turns (all turns are tight to Panda) and I, as usual, was toeing the dirt and looking unashamedly skeptical at the fact that this horse and I could even dream of attempting this feat. Granted, that's a bad attitude to have but I haven't finished this post so don't judge yet!
Maggie was compassionate enough to let us trot each element of the exercise individually before sticking it together and cantering it. Much to my complete chagrin, my half-seat not only didn't improve, it got worse as we were trotting these only slightly larger jumps. I didn't have butterflies and I didn't think I was thinking that much but we had to have a pow wow before my mouth popping, back jarring position convinced Panda that jumping is for the birds and no fun for him. The diagnosis: NERVES.
ME?! Ms Big Dreams McGee? Nerves jumping no higher than 2'3" on a horse that, to this point, has not done one single nasty thing during our rides? Yup. Me. Excuse my text language French but, WTF?! Why? It made me more nervous that I was apparently subconsciously nervous. Going back and analyzing the jumps I couldn't tell you what I was thinking per se, but I can tell you that I wasn't expecting him to jump them. Rookie mistake. I can also tell you that I don't know what this horse does when excited or jumping so I expected the worst and held on with a Darth Vader throat grip. Another poor decision. I can also say that I was trying to conjure up everything I'd ever heard my instructors say about green horses and thought I was doing everything right, or at least making valiant and correct attempts. Negative.
Basically I was scared of the unknown. But if I never try I won't know. I've been living in the comfortable, slow moving world that is "Jeannette's Training Camp for Horses With Bad Raps Who Aren't Actually That Bad and May Even Be Great." For all my good ideas and great plans, I forgot that to get better we have to push ourselves and our horses. If I'm never a bit nervous, I'm not doing anything outside of my comfort zone. Last time I checked, I've never competed in a CCI*** so that might could possible be outside my comfort zone, meaning I'll never make it there! At least not with this attitude and mindset.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm trying my butt off, but it's easy to get stuck in a rut. This is why I was wanting so badly to take lessons. I've fallen into so many bad habits, both because of the 6 years I've had off and because of riding green horses. If you don't ever get a second opinion or someone on the ground to look at what you're doing, you'll never know if you're doing it wrong! I am eternally grateful for the lessons and they're obviously already helping me to improve.
The other thing I was quite upset about today was me, my riding, and my background. I wanted to cry, throw my hands up in the air, my reins down on the ground, and call my old trainers to have them verify that, yes, I did indeed actually jump things and take lessons and have my own horse and compete and was at least halfway decent at most of those things most of the time. I felt like a failure. You want me to work on my half-seat? Are you sure? How do I not know that anymore? Why am I nervous, I jumped double this height on Sam! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Luckily the question was posed to me, "What were you expecting? To get on a horse and jump 5' and be perfect? How long ago did you used to do this?" Honestly, I expected to be perfect. I expected to jump on a horse and be ready to show tomorrow. Excuse this last one, I don't mean it as vainly as it's going to sound, but I expected to impress people. How I expected all this on a green 5 year old Thoroughbred with 6 years off, I don't really know. I hadn't really gotten that far. As with most things, I just expect Harry Potter to be real, I expect him to wave his wand, and my heels go down, eyes go up, and my horse and I to sail over jumps and off into the sunset. I'm not always the logical person I make myself out to be.
In the 15 minutes after the three of us came to the realization that I just need to throw caution to the wind and let my horse figure things out it all started to come together. I can't say I threw my nerves completely to the wind, but I did raise my stirrups and throw my hands at his face (not literally, calm down) rather than his tail and everything went a lot better. We aren't event ready, or even pre-green baby hunter over poles ready, but it was a huge step in the right direction.
Nerves will always be there. They're good for you. They encourage you to analyze the situation and be sure that you are being safe and smart. Without nerves I'm pretty sure there would be a lot more Darwin Awards (Google will answer all your questions here). But there is a time when you realize that you need to tell them to take their butterflies and nausea out back and axe them because this isn't the time or place. Eleanor Roosevelt's quote sticks in my head here, "Do one thing every day that scares you." Challenge yourself. Grow. Don't get stuck in your comfort zone. It has a bad habit of building an underground bomb shelter made out of concrete that is impossible to climb out of if you let it go too long.
Generally I ride Marvel in lessons but we've identified some huge issues/holes in Panda's basic training that I need help teaching to him so I hopped on Panda and succumbed to the mercy of creative minds. Panda has excelled greatly and exceeded pretty much all of our expectations for where he is now compared to where he was. I've probably been working him a total of a month and a half and even then, not riding him every single day.
So today we warmed up as usual. Walk, trot, canter, no problems (at this point there better not be!). Trotted a few times over an X with a slight bending and turning problem, but no jump problems. Reversed directions and jumped the X and we hit our first speed bump. Apparently my half-seat is less of a half-seat and more of a forward and paused post as we skim over the jump and continue on our way. Try as I might (and I did try several more times) I couldn't understand how to fix the issue so instead I held my half-seat on the approach to the jump (hey there hunter ring, didn't expect to see you back in my life). Ok. We did well enough.
 |
| Not Panda. Not a great half-seat. Not our lesson today. See! I've needed help for awhile! |
If you've ready my previous post about our prep for the playday this weekend you'll know turning is not our forte. By our, I mean Panda's because I realize that turning gets us new places and he's still stuck on the idea that the world is, indeed, flat and also endless and one should be able to go straight till they get tired. The exercise we were working on included several [tight] turns (all turns are tight to Panda) and I, as usual, was toeing the dirt and looking unashamedly skeptical at the fact that this horse and I could even dream of attempting this feat. Granted, that's a bad attitude to have but I haven't finished this post so don't judge yet!
Maggie was compassionate enough to let us trot each element of the exercise individually before sticking it together and cantering it. Much to my complete chagrin, my half-seat not only didn't improve, it got worse as we were trotting these only slightly larger jumps. I didn't have butterflies and I didn't think I was thinking that much but we had to have a pow wow before my mouth popping, back jarring position convinced Panda that jumping is for the birds and no fun for him. The diagnosis: NERVES.
 |
| HEY! That's my bottom in the saddle... |
ME?! Ms Big Dreams McGee? Nerves jumping no higher than 2'3" on a horse that, to this point, has not done one single nasty thing during our rides? Yup. Me. Excuse my text language French but, WTF?! Why? It made me more nervous that I was apparently subconsciously nervous. Going back and analyzing the jumps I couldn't tell you what I was thinking per se, but I can tell you that I wasn't expecting him to jump them. Rookie mistake. I can also tell you that I don't know what this horse does when excited or jumping so I expected the worst and held on with a Darth Vader throat grip. Another poor decision. I can also say that I was trying to conjure up everything I'd ever heard my instructors say about green horses and thought I was doing everything right, or at least making valiant and correct attempts. Negative.
Basically I was scared of the unknown. But if I never try I won't know. I've been living in the comfortable, slow moving world that is "Jeannette's Training Camp for Horses With Bad Raps Who Aren't Actually That Bad and May Even Be Great." For all my good ideas and great plans, I forgot that to get better we have to push ourselves and our horses. If I'm never a bit nervous, I'm not doing anything outside of my comfort zone. Last time I checked, I've never competed in a CCI*** so that might could possible be outside my comfort zone, meaning I'll never make it there! At least not with this attitude and mindset.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm trying my butt off, but it's easy to get stuck in a rut. This is why I was wanting so badly to take lessons. I've fallen into so many bad habits, both because of the 6 years I've had off and because of riding green horses. If you don't ever get a second opinion or someone on the ground to look at what you're doing, you'll never know if you're doing it wrong! I am eternally grateful for the lessons and they're obviously already helping me to improve.
The other thing I was quite upset about today was me, my riding, and my background. I wanted to cry, throw my hands up in the air, my reins down on the ground, and call my old trainers to have them verify that, yes, I did indeed actually jump things and take lessons and have my own horse and compete and was at least halfway decent at most of those things most of the time. I felt like a failure. You want me to work on my half-seat? Are you sure? How do I not know that anymore? Why am I nervous, I jumped double this height on Sam! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Luckily the question was posed to me, "What were you expecting? To get on a horse and jump 5' and be perfect? How long ago did you used to do this?" Honestly, I expected to be perfect. I expected to jump on a horse and be ready to show tomorrow. Excuse this last one, I don't mean it as vainly as it's going to sound, but I expected to impress people. How I expected all this on a green 5 year old Thoroughbred with 6 years off, I don't really know. I hadn't really gotten that far. As with most things, I just expect Harry Potter to be real, I expect him to wave his wand, and my heels go down, eyes go up, and my horse and I to sail over jumps and off into the sunset. I'm not always the logical person I make myself out to be.
 |
| How have I not really looked at these pictures?! #Halfseatproblems |
In the 15 minutes after the three of us came to the realization that I just need to throw caution to the wind and let my horse figure things out it all started to come together. I can't say I threw my nerves completely to the wind, but I did raise my stirrups and throw my hands at his face (not literally, calm down) rather than his tail and everything went a lot better. We aren't event ready, or even pre-green baby hunter over poles ready, but it was a huge step in the right direction.
Nerves will always be there. They're good for you. They encourage you to analyze the situation and be sure that you are being safe and smart. Without nerves I'm pretty sure there would be a lot more Darwin Awards (Google will answer all your questions here). But there is a time when you realize that you need to tell them to take their butterflies and nausea out back and axe them because this isn't the time or place. Eleanor Roosevelt's quote sticks in my head here, "Do one thing every day that scares you." Challenge yourself. Grow. Don't get stuck in your comfort zone. It has a bad habit of building an underground bomb shelter made out of concrete that is impossible to climb out of if you let it go too long.
 |
| Eh. So-so. Obviously I never analyzed these. |
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Playday or Bawling Hayday?
The competition is starting to get fierce! This Saturday the barn is having a playday and I am totally unprepared for any event generally ridden in a western saddle. I was a hunter for 4 years. Fast to me is an extended canter (no, not a hand gallop). Even in jumpers, which I did for 3 or so years, rarely do you ask your horse for a lot of speed. Yes, classes are based on time, but time is made by taking good routes and tight jumper turns. Oh, and not knocking a rail down or getting a refusal.
The events as I understand them are barrels, poles, keyhole, apple bobbing, musical stalls and possibly an egg and spoon race. I have known about this event for at least a month. Fast forward to yesterday evening. Panic attack. I. Don't. Know. This. Stuff. I'm no barrel racer but I'm guessing it'll take a bit longer than 5 days to train a horse to run a correct pattern.
Amanda, besides looking aghast at my lack of knowledge of the other half of our sport, volunteered to watch my pathetic attempt at western training and perhaps yell a few things here and there as she laughs under her breath. Panda is going to be the horse I ride in this play day as Marvel has been picked by a friend of mine to ride. Marvel has also been displaying some frisky acrobatics when asked to go quickly so he may not be my best bet anyway.
Panda is a 2 year old horse trapped in a 9 year old's body. I squeeze, he rolls his eyes and acts like he never felt anything. I pull left and his nose goes left (as the rest of his body travels in the straight line we were going in when I pulled left). I half-halt, he, wait, SO CONFUSED! These events are apparently based solely on turning and gaining speed in an efficient, if not fast, manner. Since he doesn't seem to know my leg from a fly on his butt I anticipated trouble with obtaining and then maintaining any legitimate speed. Being a Thoroughbred, I was reminded that they weren't built to gather speed quickly which is why they aren't the number one option for western sports (WHAT?! OTTBs can't do everything?!) Also, our arena is probably 30-40 yards wide and that seems to be a tight turn for him. Amanda was speaking Hungarian or something; "Rollback turns," "hand gallop," and "point him at that barrel and make him hug it as he turns around it" were all things she was saying. I must've been speaking a different dialect as I enthusiastically told her how my pony that can barely be coaxed into a trot or turned from his course can't do those things.
As most of you horse poor people know, you don't say no to a free "lesson" of any kind. And if you don't know that mantra you aren't really horse poor. So with a nervous giggle, off I went doing the things I was told. Our first exercise was hand gallop to canter transitions. Picking up the canter was a chore in itself as we had already trotted around quite briskly and Panda is a skinny fat kid with few muscles. After long last (and a really bruised behind) we were cantering. Now time for the gallop. I don't know why this makes me nervous. Perhaps because I've never really done it, perhaps because I'm on the back of an ex-racehorse who knows how to kick it in to high gear, or perhaps I was worried about what could possibly happen (my imagination is boundless in a mainly negative way). I never figured it out because next thing I know I was in a galloping seat and we were moving out! Well, I thought we were moving out. Apparently it was just a good paced canter because I heard yelling out of the corner of my ear about pushing him and letting him have his head. Exercise failed.
Next, barrels. That was actually fun. Walking up to a barrel and making Panda turn around it by kicking him with my outside leg and pulling his nose around seemed easy. Yet every time I approached the barrels I had to figure out which way we were turning and what rein and leg that corresponded with. I can't brush a horse and have a conversation at the same time so this was like rocket science to me. If my arm and leg on the same side of my body can't do something at the same time they get separation anxiety. It's totally not my fault you see! After mastering this at the walk we moved to the trot... and then abruptly got laughed at. We quickly decided that strategy, rather than skill, would be the only way we might be able to pull out a win. He turns right worse than left so if we take the first barrel on the right side we will have two left turns. Exercise not so much failed as deemed unhelpful for the time available.
Last was Panda's favorite, breaking out of the "start box." This was a faint line drawn by Amanda in an arena full of other lines. The ready, set, go she gave us was very nonstressful which contributed to our feeling of meager success. The first time poor Panda was scared straight (and fast!) by me cowboying up with kicks, kisses, and a crop and Amanda clapping, kissing and arm waving. Apparently the point was not lost on him because the second time around, as I reached back to tap him on the bottom with the crop, he lurched forward and sideways and we got up to speed a lot faster. The last time my ADD got the better of both of us. It went a little like, "Ready, set, go!" Kisses, kicks, "WOAH! He's doing it! He took off, what a good boy. Oh crap, there's the barrel, we were supposed to be going faster by now..." Nonetheless, as mentioned, the exercise was at least a slight success.
Panda was soaked in sweat and I wasn't looking too fancy myself but we learned things! And we went fast! It was a blast and I haven't even done the playday yet!! Now to make the competition even more fierce by adding prizes to the winner of the events. I've already threatened to tranquilize every horse on the property but mine if there's a dandy brush up for grabs. I have a feeling that this ecstasy will be short lived. Especially seeing as I take competition much too seriously and am a tack trunk full of nerves before events of any kind.
Just need to remember that playday = fun and being beat by a 7 year old is not something to be ashamed of.
The events as I understand them are barrels, poles, keyhole, apple bobbing, musical stalls and possibly an egg and spoon race. I have known about this event for at least a month. Fast forward to yesterday evening. Panic attack. I. Don't. Know. This. Stuff. I'm no barrel racer but I'm guessing it'll take a bit longer than 5 days to train a horse to run a correct pattern.
Amanda, besides looking aghast at my lack of knowledge of the other half of our sport, volunteered to watch my pathetic attempt at western training and perhaps yell a few things here and there as she laughs under her breath. Panda is going to be the horse I ride in this play day as Marvel has been picked by a friend of mine to ride. Marvel has also been displaying some frisky acrobatics when asked to go quickly so he may not be my best bet anyway.
Panda is a 2 year old horse trapped in a 9 year old's body. I squeeze, he rolls his eyes and acts like he never felt anything. I pull left and his nose goes left (as the rest of his body travels in the straight line we were going in when I pulled left). I half-halt, he, wait, SO CONFUSED! These events are apparently based solely on turning and gaining speed in an efficient, if not fast, manner. Since he doesn't seem to know my leg from a fly on his butt I anticipated trouble with obtaining and then maintaining any legitimate speed. Being a Thoroughbred, I was reminded that they weren't built to gather speed quickly which is why they aren't the number one option for western sports (WHAT?! OTTBs can't do everything?!) Also, our arena is probably 30-40 yards wide and that seems to be a tight turn for him. Amanda was speaking Hungarian or something; "Rollback turns," "hand gallop," and "point him at that barrel and make him hug it as he turns around it" were all things she was saying. I must've been speaking a different dialect as I enthusiastically told her how my pony that can barely be coaxed into a trot or turned from his course can't do those things.
As most of you horse poor people know, you don't say no to a free "lesson" of any kind. And if you don't know that mantra you aren't really horse poor. So with a nervous giggle, off I went doing the things I was told. Our first exercise was hand gallop to canter transitions. Picking up the canter was a chore in itself as we had already trotted around quite briskly and Panda is a skinny fat kid with few muscles. After long last (and a really bruised behind) we were cantering. Now time for the gallop. I don't know why this makes me nervous. Perhaps because I've never really done it, perhaps because I'm on the back of an ex-racehorse who knows how to kick it in to high gear, or perhaps I was worried about what could possibly happen (my imagination is boundless in a mainly negative way). I never figured it out because next thing I know I was in a galloping seat and we were moving out! Well, I thought we were moving out. Apparently it was just a good paced canter because I heard yelling out of the corner of my ear about pushing him and letting him have his head. Exercise failed.
Next, barrels. That was actually fun. Walking up to a barrel and making Panda turn around it by kicking him with my outside leg and pulling his nose around seemed easy. Yet every time I approached the barrels I had to figure out which way we were turning and what rein and leg that corresponded with. I can't brush a horse and have a conversation at the same time so this was like rocket science to me. If my arm and leg on the same side of my body can't do something at the same time they get separation anxiety. It's totally not my fault you see! After mastering this at the walk we moved to the trot... and then abruptly got laughed at. We quickly decided that strategy, rather than skill, would be the only way we might be able to pull out a win. He turns right worse than left so if we take the first barrel on the right side we will have two left turns. Exercise not so much failed as deemed unhelpful for the time available.
Last was Panda's favorite, breaking out of the "start box." This was a faint line drawn by Amanda in an arena full of other lines. The ready, set, go she gave us was very nonstressful which contributed to our feeling of meager success. The first time poor Panda was scared straight (and fast!) by me cowboying up with kicks, kisses, and a crop and Amanda clapping, kissing and arm waving. Apparently the point was not lost on him because the second time around, as I reached back to tap him on the bottom with the crop, he lurched forward and sideways and we got up to speed a lot faster. The last time my ADD got the better of both of us. It went a little like, "Ready, set, go!" Kisses, kicks, "WOAH! He's doing it! He took off, what a good boy. Oh crap, there's the barrel, we were supposed to be going faster by now..." Nonetheless, as mentioned, the exercise was at least a slight success.
Panda was soaked in sweat and I wasn't looking too fancy myself but we learned things! And we went fast! It was a blast and I haven't even done the playday yet!! Now to make the competition even more fierce by adding prizes to the winner of the events. I've already threatened to tranquilize every horse on the property but mine if there's a dandy brush up for grabs. I have a feeling that this ecstasy will be short lived. Especially seeing as I take competition much too seriously and am a tack trunk full of nerves before events of any kind.
Just need to remember that playday = fun and being beat by a 7 year old is not something to be ashamed of.
 |
| Maybe he'll make it as a dressage pony?! |
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Halloween = Pumpkin Everything; No Exceptions.
I am a holiday nerd. I'm sure everyone has that one crazy aunt who, besides being a cat lady, also ends up being a holiday décor hoarder. Children run screaming from her house because of her legitimately frightening Halloween decorations. You have Thanksgiving leftovers for 3 weeks because of how all-out she goes. Her house can be seen in space during Christmas and neighbors call and complain from 3 miles away. Well, I'm worse. I may not have the benefit of 20 years of hoarding but what I lack in decorations (and cats), I make up for in holiday spirit.
While I'm not one to be creative and dress up for Halloween, traditions are a must. Pumpkin carving is a tradition that cannot be forgotten. Although I have, for the past 3 or so years, been carving pumpkins by myself with canine supervision (Uhoh, maybe the cats aren't that far away...), I've always found it to be more fun with friends. This year I have been blessed with a particularly fun-loving set of friends who accepted my idea with gusto!
When alone with the puppies I generally light pumpkin scented candles, make pumpkin bread, get some sort of pumpkin drink and save the pumpkin seeds for roasting. Pumpkin overload! This afternoon I had to forego the inundation of pumpkin on my senses and cope with just carving 2 pumpkins.
Let's revisit the part where I mentioned that my friends were overly excited about this idea of pumpkin carving; they were happy with the change of routine and decided they had no better offers. I like to live obliviously in my fantasy holiday world and project my elation onto everyone nearby. I don't think most of the event attendees knew my deep seated love for holiday tradition but they were soon clued in.
The array of pumpkin carving tools I brought included knives, mini saws, 3 electronic mini saws, a stencil book, markers, pencils, hole punching equipment and a towel. There is no messing around with pumpkins. Get your game face on or suffer my holiday spirit fueled wrath.
Needless to say, the pumpkins were carved. Amanda's boyfriend seemed to share a slightly less escalated (but better than most) love of carving and completed two pumpkins along with me. As I placed mine in front of the horses' stalls I began to wonder a few things; how long will these last with the flies, which horse will attempt to eat the pumpkin, how soon will they attempt the eating, and how scared will Cash be when he sees a huge orange possible horse killer sitting on a black plastic known horse killer (aka trash bag)?
Before anyone freaks out, horses can eat pumpkin. Can and will are two different things. I was also pleasantly surprised and a bit disappointed that as we walked Cash down the barn aisle he neither noticed nor cared about the new décor. I couldn't let that rest and proceeded to walk into the stall carrying his assigned pumpkin which provoked the response I was originally looking for (nervous pony backed in a corner). Again, please don't freak out. As much as I love torturing small ponies I do it for desensitization purposes rather than getting pure joy from watching them cower.
I hope my barn friends are ready for what is to come. They caught a small glimpse of my ecstatic holiday cheer but I'm not sure they've put two and two together to realize that if I could wrap the boys in Christmas lights I absolutely would. What they don't know won't hurt them right?!
While I'm not one to be creative and dress up for Halloween, traditions are a must. Pumpkin carving is a tradition that cannot be forgotten. Although I have, for the past 3 or so years, been carving pumpkins by myself with canine supervision (Uhoh, maybe the cats aren't that far away...), I've always found it to be more fun with friends. This year I have been blessed with a particularly fun-loving set of friends who accepted my idea with gusto!
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| Pumpkin prep-work |
When alone with the puppies I generally light pumpkin scented candles, make pumpkin bread, get some sort of pumpkin drink and save the pumpkin seeds for roasting. Pumpkin overload! This afternoon I had to forego the inundation of pumpkin on my senses and cope with just carving 2 pumpkins.
Let's revisit the part where I mentioned that my friends were overly excited about this idea of pumpkin carving; they were happy with the change of routine and decided they had no better offers. I like to live obliviously in my fantasy holiday world and project my elation onto everyone nearby. I don't think most of the event attendees knew my deep seated love for holiday tradition but they were soon clued in.
The array of pumpkin carving tools I brought included knives, mini saws, 3 electronic mini saws, a stencil book, markers, pencils, hole punching equipment and a towel. There is no messing around with pumpkins. Get your game face on or suffer my holiday spirit fueled wrath.
 |
| The pumpkins we carved for each of the boys! |
Needless to say, the pumpkins were carved. Amanda's boyfriend seemed to share a slightly less escalated (but better than most) love of carving and completed two pumpkins along with me. As I placed mine in front of the horses' stalls I began to wonder a few things; how long will these last with the flies, which horse will attempt to eat the pumpkin, how soon will they attempt the eating, and how scared will Cash be when he sees a huge orange possible horse killer sitting on a black plastic known horse killer (aka trash bag)?
Before anyone freaks out, horses can eat pumpkin. Can and will are two different things. I was also pleasantly surprised and a bit disappointed that as we walked Cash down the barn aisle he neither noticed nor cared about the new décor. I couldn't let that rest and proceeded to walk into the stall carrying his assigned pumpkin which provoked the response I was originally looking for (nervous pony backed in a corner). Again, please don't freak out. As much as I love torturing small ponies I do it for desensitization purposes rather than getting pure joy from watching them cower.
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| More finished products! |
Friday, October 18, 2013
How to Most Thoroughly Embarrass Your Ponies, a Halloween Thinktank
Halloween is just around the corner! I'm not a creative person by any means and I've never been a fan of dressing up. Halloween makes me excited because it is the kick-off of the holiday season! Bring on too many commercials about things I didn't know existed but now need, the extra ten pounds that comes with hot chocolate and sugar cookies, and endless versions of the same Christmas song. I'm ready. For all but the cold that is, but that's a different post for a different day.
This year I am slightly more excited about the actual holiday of Halloween because there are 6 animals under my care that are about to run crying home and have PTSD from the costumes I will dream up for them. There are endless possibilities (but a slightly more constrictive budget) for this holiday's festivities!
Jesse is having a jockey strapped to her back and is going as a racehorse. Hina is going as the grumpy big sister who stayed home at my house (she isn't going). Kiba is scary all by himself. If he goes he will not need to dress up.
Marvel is being pimped out to a friend of mine. She has decided to dress him as superman which is perfectly fitting. He's named after the comics and he's huge and super! He's probably not going to have to see a counselor after his makeover is complete. I mean come on, who doesn't want to be superman!!
Cash is probably not going to end up getting dressed up. He is going to be the Headless Horseman's mount except the headless horseman is not going to be astride because he is not comfortable on horseback, much less spooky pony-back. If I were going to dress him up he would HAVE to be a Pegasus. He's black and adorable which is close to black and majestic which is what a Pegasus is. Of course logistically I'm not sure there are any form of wings I could attach to him that would make him feel safe and secure. That might work in my benefit though because we'd certainly see a flying horse... BEST COSTUME AWARD GOES TO: Jeannette, and her flying black pony that cannot be stopped to detach the wings. That win would be short lived.
Panda. I am having an identity crisis with him. There is a horse in the barn better suited to be a unicorn but if they aren't going to do Unicorn then I totally want to do it! When I picture a unicorn though I don't picture a fat bellied, ribby, ewe-necked, dappled grey with a black mane and tail. I think of something all white, very "knight's steed"-esque with a purple iridescent mane and tail. Panda's tail has been many colors but the yellow it is now is the closest it has come to purple. Scratch unicorn. The idea I keep coming back to is Indian. I want to get some paint and put handprints and illegible stick figures depicting vicious battle on his sides. I want to put football/battle stripes under his eyes and teach him to rear so that everyone that comes and asks us what we are will get a good hearty rear and a gruff "Indian" from me. Now that I'm thinking about it, he needs to learn to neigh and rear at the same time.
Ok, all joking aside, I do want to paint him but then I don't have an Indian costume. I am left very unimpressed with the "Sexy Indian," "Flirty Indian," and "Mysterious Indian" costumes in stores that are all the same bikini idea with fringe in different places. My mom told me never to touch the feathers you find on the ground so that nixes my plans for a "build your own" Indian costume. Another speed bump I'm running in to is the whole riding idea. Indians rode bareback. Pictures don't do Panda's back justice. His spine is about 6 inches above where his meat and muscles start. It looks like someone pitched a tent of skin on top of his back. I'd be getting that wedgie out till next Halloween. Also, what paint is ok to use on a horse? What if it stains his fur? What if it's 30 degrees, how am I gonna get it off him?! Halloween is notoriously cold in these parts. I think it's God's way of making all those girls in lingerie suffer (which I am perfectly ok with).
I guess I need to go back to the drawing board. I don't really want to do jockey/race horse. Besides, Jesse is already being that. I could do sheep but Amanda has already thought of the logistics of that and it's a no go. We could be Gandalf/Shadowfax. I'd definitely be warm but I feel like a beard that long might get in the way. I'm no expert though. We could be ghosts... That wouldn't be terribly hard to do but it is so easy! Maybe I'll make him little cuffs (upside down bell boots?!) and a bow tie and he can be a Chip-N-Dales dancer. He IS handsome. :)
Halloween, here we come!!!
This year I am slightly more excited about the actual holiday of Halloween because there are 6 animals under my care that are about to run crying home and have PTSD from the costumes I will dream up for them. There are endless possibilities (but a slightly more constrictive budget) for this holiday's festivities!
Jesse is having a jockey strapped to her back and is going as a racehorse. Hina is going as the grumpy big sister who stayed home at my house (she isn't going). Kiba is scary all by himself. If he goes he will not need to dress up.
Marvel is being pimped out to a friend of mine. She has decided to dress him as superman which is perfectly fitting. He's named after the comics and he's huge and super! He's probably not going to have to see a counselor after his makeover is complete. I mean come on, who doesn't want to be superman!!
Cash is probably not going to end up getting dressed up. He is going to be the Headless Horseman's mount except the headless horseman is not going to be astride because he is not comfortable on horseback, much less spooky pony-back. If I were going to dress him up he would HAVE to be a Pegasus. He's black and adorable which is close to black and majestic which is what a Pegasus is. Of course logistically I'm not sure there are any form of wings I could attach to him that would make him feel safe and secure. That might work in my benefit though because we'd certainly see a flying horse... BEST COSTUME AWARD GOES TO: Jeannette, and her flying black pony that cannot be stopped to detach the wings. That win would be short lived.
Panda. I am having an identity crisis with him. There is a horse in the barn better suited to be a unicorn but if they aren't going to do Unicorn then I totally want to do it! When I picture a unicorn though I don't picture a fat bellied, ribby, ewe-necked, dappled grey with a black mane and tail. I think of something all white, very "knight's steed"-esque with a purple iridescent mane and tail. Panda's tail has been many colors but the yellow it is now is the closest it has come to purple. Scratch unicorn. The idea I keep coming back to is Indian. I want to get some paint and put handprints and illegible stick figures depicting vicious battle on his sides. I want to put football/battle stripes under his eyes and teach him to rear so that everyone that comes and asks us what we are will get a good hearty rear and a gruff "Indian" from me. Now that I'm thinking about it, he needs to learn to neigh and rear at the same time.
Ok, all joking aside, I do want to paint him but then I don't have an Indian costume. I am left very unimpressed with the "Sexy Indian," "Flirty Indian," and "Mysterious Indian" costumes in stores that are all the same bikini idea with fringe in different places. My mom told me never to touch the feathers you find on the ground so that nixes my plans for a "build your own" Indian costume. Another speed bump I'm running in to is the whole riding idea. Indians rode bareback. Pictures don't do Panda's back justice. His spine is about 6 inches above where his meat and muscles start. It looks like someone pitched a tent of skin on top of his back. I'd be getting that wedgie out till next Halloween. Also, what paint is ok to use on a horse? What if it stains his fur? What if it's 30 degrees, how am I gonna get it off him?! Halloween is notoriously cold in these parts. I think it's God's way of making all those girls in lingerie suffer (which I am perfectly ok with).
I guess I need to go back to the drawing board. I don't really want to do jockey/race horse. Besides, Jesse is already being that. I could do sheep but Amanda has already thought of the logistics of that and it's a no go. We could be Gandalf/Shadowfax. I'd definitely be warm but I feel like a beard that long might get in the way. I'm no expert though. We could be ghosts... That wouldn't be terribly hard to do but it is so easy! Maybe I'll make him little cuffs (upside down bell boots?!) and a bow tie and he can be a Chip-N-Dales dancer. He IS handsome. :)
Halloween, here we come!!!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Pegasus, Unicorns, Dragons, and the Dressage Frame
So I've started taking lessons from the owner of the farm, Maggie, this past month. I am not used to not having lessons and I also need to have a less biased set of eyes on the boys so that I can be told exactly how it is. She has plenty of eventing experience and is very patient which are both things I need at this point in my riding career.
I'm not sure if I've expressed my love for jumping but if you aren't aware of it let me try to spell it out for you. I love jumping like Santa loves good little boys and girls. I love jumping like Harry Potter loves to get himself into mortal peril. I love jumping like boys doing no-shave-November love their beards. I love jumping like ET loves to phone home, like girls in the 80's loved big hair and mom jeans (those should never EVER come back by the way), like Miley Cyrus loves wearing granny panties in music videos, and like candy deprived little kids love to go trick-or-treating. It's legit.
I have a background of jumping, but that is only 1/3 of the skill I need to successfully make it through a 3 day event. Cross Country isn't so much a new skill to learn as more bravery and miles to acquire. I have never done it before but in essence the idea is the same as in the jumper ring with a few more hiccups along the way. Many of these hiccups are meant to try the horse or the horse and rider combo rather than just the rider.
Where I am lost beyond recognition, and where Maggie truly comes in, is this dressage thing. For those of you who don't know what dressage is, open up a new tab (do it now), go to Google, and type in "Grand Prix Dressage." Go ahead. Watch the whole 6 minute test. See how the horse prances and does movements I couldn't even attempt on my own without a horse in my wildest dreams? See how the rider is motionless? And how the horse's head and neck are beautifully muscled and arched? Yeah, that's what I have to learn how to do. Minus the prancing, the ballet moves, and anything else that makes you go "WOW!"
The main thing I have to learn is how to teach my horse to carry itself well. This includes a good head and neck carriage and a rounded back. I'm not sure if this is a battle I'm ready to begin to fight! For starters, I've never had a dressage lesson (granted, flatwork is all dressage and I've had plenty of flatwork lessons, but nothing more). Then, I'm riding horses that are green. Marvel barely knows how to get from point A to point B without tripping over his hooves and Panda is as unbalanced as a top losing momentum. Cash is on a whole different path so he isn't even a pawn in this game! So I don't know how to ask for this frame, I don't know what it feels like were I to catch a glimmer of it, and my horses don't know how to offer it to me. It's a bit like being up a creek without a paddle.
Maggie is eternally helpful and I know we will eventually get there. But when she watches me clumsily trot my way around the arena with hands too low and legs to wiggly I'm sure she probably feels more hopeless than I do! When I hear, "Half-halt and push him up under you!" I try my darndest, I really do, but when Panda gives me a quizzical response (or complete lack thereof) I have to turn to her and ask her if this book is fact or fiction! When we achieve even mild success, be sure, you will know. Until then... I could really use all the help I can get!
I'm not sure if I've expressed my love for jumping but if you aren't aware of it let me try to spell it out for you. I love jumping like Santa loves good little boys and girls. I love jumping like Harry Potter loves to get himself into mortal peril. I love jumping like boys doing no-shave-November love their beards. I love jumping like ET loves to phone home, like girls in the 80's loved big hair and mom jeans (those should never EVER come back by the way), like Miley Cyrus loves wearing granny panties in music videos, and like candy deprived little kids love to go trick-or-treating. It's legit.
I have a background of jumping, but that is only 1/3 of the skill I need to successfully make it through a 3 day event. Cross Country isn't so much a new skill to learn as more bravery and miles to acquire. I have never done it before but in essence the idea is the same as in the jumper ring with a few more hiccups along the way. Many of these hiccups are meant to try the horse or the horse and rider combo rather than just the rider.
Where I am lost beyond recognition, and where Maggie truly comes in, is this dressage thing. For those of you who don't know what dressage is, open up a new tab (do it now), go to Google, and type in "Grand Prix Dressage." Go ahead. Watch the whole 6 minute test. See how the horse prances and does movements I couldn't even attempt on my own without a horse in my wildest dreams? See how the rider is motionless? And how the horse's head and neck are beautifully muscled and arched? Yeah, that's what I have to learn how to do. Minus the prancing, the ballet moves, and anything else that makes you go "WOW!"
The main thing I have to learn is how to teach my horse to carry itself well. This includes a good head and neck carriage and a rounded back. I'm not sure if this is a battle I'm ready to begin to fight! For starters, I've never had a dressage lesson (granted, flatwork is all dressage and I've had plenty of flatwork lessons, but nothing more). Then, I'm riding horses that are green. Marvel barely knows how to get from point A to point B without tripping over his hooves and Panda is as unbalanced as a top losing momentum. Cash is on a whole different path so he isn't even a pawn in this game! So I don't know how to ask for this frame, I don't know what it feels like were I to catch a glimmer of it, and my horses don't know how to offer it to me. It's a bit like being up a creek without a paddle.
Maggie is eternally helpful and I know we will eventually get there. But when she watches me clumsily trot my way around the arena with hands too low and legs to wiggly I'm sure she probably feels more hopeless than I do! When I hear, "Half-halt and push him up under you!" I try my darndest, I really do, but when Panda gives me a quizzical response (or complete lack thereof) I have to turn to her and ask her if this book is fact or fiction! When we achieve even mild success, be sure, you will know. Until then... I could really use all the help I can get!
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| NOT a dressage frame. |
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Tips From the (Muddy) Red Carpet
Hipsters, Emo, Country, Rocker, Gangster, Fratty, Sorority Girl, Young Professional, Business Casual, Beach Bum. These are just a few of the styles we can all recognize in 2013. As with all public places, at the barn there are fashion do's and don'ts. Unlike other places, these have arisen out of necessity rather than out of a bored young lady's mind who is trying to make her name famous.
The first look I would like to bring to the table is "Rainy Day Chique." For the top we've got a nice, loose fitting t-shirt. The holes in the armpits and near the bottom middle of the front make this a useful and trendy pick. Humidity is terrible so ventilation is a must. You will notice Rainy Day Chique's jeans have pre-stained dirt streaks running up and down the thighs. No need to worry about a towel, a wash room, or staining the jeans yourself, these jeans have it all for you. A good slip and fall only blends right in with what these jeans already have to offer. Finally, footwear. This gorgeous outfit can be paired with not one, but two different shoe choices. The first is a classic ventilated pair of Crocs. Water might be able to go in but it can also flow right back out. If you've ever thought about a mud bath for your feet this is a choice that blends fashion and usefulness. The other great option is the Rain Boot. Not at all a small shoe, their tell-tale squeak when you walk is highly sought after.
The next look that needs some attention is "Carefree Sunny Day." This gorgeous look includes a brightly colored sports bra paired flawlessly with a paw-print stained tank. Not too loose, and not too tight, this tank is fantastic for showing off those awkward sweat marks that tend to develop after a good ride, stall cleaning, or 90+ degree day. If a ride is in the plans, a tan, stained pair of breeches can compliment the paw-prints that can be found on the tank. If chores are the name of the game some good shorts that show off the beautiful snow white skin of your legs is a must. Either way, be sure to pair both pant options with some grandmother panties so that the lines are quite obvious and visible. Shoes can be left to the wearer's choice. Pair this look with eau de deodorant/horse poo and you've got a finished look that can't be beaten.
Winter fashions should not be swept under the rug just because 7/8 of the year is hot. "Snug Bundles Aplicque" is a carefully planned outfit. Snug Bundles' top consists of many, MANY layers. So much so that with any stimulus, sweat instantly accumulates. The under layers aren't a huge concern other than the fact that you should always start with smallest first and work your way up. The jacket is characterized by being rain proof, thick, reflective, and particularly drab. Nothing says "don't look at me" like a poop brown or camo jacket. Pants are generally fleece lined and not at all warm enough. Shoes include any kind of boot paired with wool socks, preferably knitted by your great grandmother. The positives about cooler weather is accessorizing! Don't forget mittens/gloves that completely inhibit your ability to buckle things such as halters, bridles, and even girths and stall door latches. Ear warming headbands are a fancy invention that keep your head from freezing off. They also make you need a whole new "winter only" helmet because they enlarge your head by inches at a time.
There are many different varieties of each option. Barn fashion is characterized by the freedom to accessorize and adapt which is what so many up-and-coming barn fashionistas love. These looks are guaranteed to attract stares anywhere BUT the barn. Rest assured people are wondering things like, "Where can I get an outfit like that?" and "Who is she wearing? Those grass stains are so tastefully done!" So don't fret when the lady behind you in the grocery line can't look away. That's when you know you've hit it big.
The first look I would like to bring to the table is "Rainy Day Chique." For the top we've got a nice, loose fitting t-shirt. The holes in the armpits and near the bottom middle of the front make this a useful and trendy pick. Humidity is terrible so ventilation is a must. You will notice Rainy Day Chique's jeans have pre-stained dirt streaks running up and down the thighs. No need to worry about a towel, a wash room, or staining the jeans yourself, these jeans have it all for you. A good slip and fall only blends right in with what these jeans already have to offer. Finally, footwear. This gorgeous outfit can be paired with not one, but two different shoe choices. The first is a classic ventilated pair of Crocs. Water might be able to go in but it can also flow right back out. If you've ever thought about a mud bath for your feet this is a choice that blends fashion and usefulness. The other great option is the Rain Boot. Not at all a small shoe, their tell-tale squeak when you walk is highly sought after.
The next look that needs some attention is "Carefree Sunny Day." This gorgeous look includes a brightly colored sports bra paired flawlessly with a paw-print stained tank. Not too loose, and not too tight, this tank is fantastic for showing off those awkward sweat marks that tend to develop after a good ride, stall cleaning, or 90+ degree day. If a ride is in the plans, a tan, stained pair of breeches can compliment the paw-prints that can be found on the tank. If chores are the name of the game some good shorts that show off the beautiful snow white skin of your legs is a must. Either way, be sure to pair both pant options with some grandmother panties so that the lines are quite obvious and visible. Shoes can be left to the wearer's choice. Pair this look with eau de deodorant/horse poo and you've got a finished look that can't be beaten.
Winter fashions should not be swept under the rug just because 7/8 of the year is hot. "Snug Bundles Aplicque" is a carefully planned outfit. Snug Bundles' top consists of many, MANY layers. So much so that with any stimulus, sweat instantly accumulates. The under layers aren't a huge concern other than the fact that you should always start with smallest first and work your way up. The jacket is characterized by being rain proof, thick, reflective, and particularly drab. Nothing says "don't look at me" like a poop brown or camo jacket. Pants are generally fleece lined and not at all warm enough. Shoes include any kind of boot paired with wool socks, preferably knitted by your great grandmother. The positives about cooler weather is accessorizing! Don't forget mittens/gloves that completely inhibit your ability to buckle things such as halters, bridles, and even girths and stall door latches. Ear warming headbands are a fancy invention that keep your head from freezing off. They also make you need a whole new "winter only" helmet because they enlarge your head by inches at a time.
There are many different varieties of each option. Barn fashion is characterized by the freedom to accessorize and adapt which is what so many up-and-coming barn fashionistas love. These looks are guaranteed to attract stares anywhere BUT the barn. Rest assured people are wondering things like, "Where can I get an outfit like that?" and "Who is she wearing? Those grass stains are so tastefully done!" So don't fret when the lady behind you in the grocery line can't look away. That's when you know you've hit it big.
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| Barefoot is not generally a good option for these styles. |
Monday, October 14, 2013
Dream Horse... What's That?
I have officially moved out of the teenage horse obsessed little girl stage that I was once in. Don't get me wrong, I moved straight into the broke horse loving adult stage which is arguably more detrimental to many more aspects of my life, so all is not lost. Today I was missing the simpler times. A lot has changed in the last ten years and not all for the better.
As that little girl who was so horse obsessed I led my Grand Champions around the house like full sized horses, ANY horse would do. I wasn't picky when I asked my dad for a horse. The thing could've been 35 yrs old and dead cripple and I would've been screaming and shouting thanks at the top of my lungs. The teenage me obviously did want a rideable horse but even that girl was not going to be excruciatingly picky.
Color didn't matter, age didn't matter, and there was a time in my life when discipline didn't matter either. I browsed the internet looking at horses for sale. I found them everywhere; Saddlebreds in Tennessee, Thoroughbreds in Kentucky, Quarter Horses in Texas, Morgans in North Carolina, jumpers, reiners, ropers, saddle seat horses. I didn't have a price range because, at that point, even a free horse was out of my price range. I had just gained access to the internet so I definitely couldn't drive or work! I obviously hadn't worked out logistics like how to get that Thoroughbred from Kentucky to Texas or where I was going to keep this newly acquired horse or how I was going to ride it since the only piece of equipment I owned at that point was a foal halter given to me by my grandmother's boyfriend.
Now when you sit me down and talk about horses my whole demeanor has changed. I suppose I was operating under the idea "beggars can't be choosers" in my younger years and technically, that's still the mentality I need to have (seeing as I haven't yet started my first day at my million dollar per year job). A goal, a job, and quite a bit of knowledge have narrowed my options from ALL OF THEM, to a very small corner of the market.
Don't get me wrong, I love the boys and am expecting them to go far, but the prestige of an $800 horse is lost on most people, myself included sometimes. There's something about not coughing up a house payment or 10 that makes you wonder if your horse is going to be able to do the job. Please don't take this as me being snobby, I have never had the financial capability to even dream of spending a small fortune (or over $2k) on a four legged accident prone beast with a mind of its own. I sincerely love the idea of the "diamond in the rough" horse and I think there are plenty out there who are more athletic than their current owner gives them credit for.
More than the money aspect, my dream is to buy a horse with good breeding, fantastic conformation, preferably a cool breed or at least a fancy looking Thoroughbred and never again have to worry about the athletic capabilities of my horse. I also don't ever want to worry about lameness, colic, cuts, or other things of that nature. Then I realize that no matter how much you pay for a horse, those things are always going to be worries. A $50,000 horse doesn't know it's any different than a $500 horse and wouldn't care if you were to tell it. I've heard plenty of horror stories of a perfectly healthy horse bowing it's tendon within a month of purchase, or having to undergo colic surgery, or being out of commission due to a bad cut in the pasture. Or what about the horse that has no health problems but you just don't get along with it? No one has enough money to guarantee impeccable health, no one.
So I've decided there is no such thing as a dream horse, per se. There are dream circumstances and amazing horses but you can't blame the circumstances on the horse or the horse on the circumstances. Everyone will have that time in their lives (if you stay in the sport long enough) where the horse and the timing just match up perfectly and you ride the cloud of euphoria as far as it can take you and hope that you are lucky enough to find that again.
Until then a quick description of my dream horse might look something like this:
Short cannon bones, well proportioned all around with a bit longer legs, good hock angles, straight legs, medium length back, soft eye, refined bone structure in the face, well proportioned ears, Irish Sport Horse, mare, 3-4 yrs old, and either bay, black or grey (but not fleabitten grey) with some chrome and an extra cool face marking.
I think that I am dreaming of a horse that, right now, exceeds my capabilities. I haven't started to compete at events yet and I am not an Olympian by any stretch at this point in my life. I don't NEED a horse that will take me 4' easy. Not yet. I need to ride the roller coaster that is the boys and learn as much as I can.
...And save up a pretty penny for that dream horse in the sky!
As that little girl who was so horse obsessed I led my Grand Champions around the house like full sized horses, ANY horse would do. I wasn't picky when I asked my dad for a horse. The thing could've been 35 yrs old and dead cripple and I would've been screaming and shouting thanks at the top of my lungs. The teenage me obviously did want a rideable horse but even that girl was not going to be excruciatingly picky.
Color didn't matter, age didn't matter, and there was a time in my life when discipline didn't matter either. I browsed the internet looking at horses for sale. I found them everywhere; Saddlebreds in Tennessee, Thoroughbreds in Kentucky, Quarter Horses in Texas, Morgans in North Carolina, jumpers, reiners, ropers, saddle seat horses. I didn't have a price range because, at that point, even a free horse was out of my price range. I had just gained access to the internet so I definitely couldn't drive or work! I obviously hadn't worked out logistics like how to get that Thoroughbred from Kentucky to Texas or where I was going to keep this newly acquired horse or how I was going to ride it since the only piece of equipment I owned at that point was a foal halter given to me by my grandmother's boyfriend.
Now when you sit me down and talk about horses my whole demeanor has changed. I suppose I was operating under the idea "beggars can't be choosers" in my younger years and technically, that's still the mentality I need to have (seeing as I haven't yet started my first day at my million dollar per year job). A goal, a job, and quite a bit of knowledge have narrowed my options from ALL OF THEM, to a very small corner of the market.
Don't get me wrong, I love the boys and am expecting them to go far, but the prestige of an $800 horse is lost on most people, myself included sometimes. There's something about not coughing up a house payment or 10 that makes you wonder if your horse is going to be able to do the job. Please don't take this as me being snobby, I have never had the financial capability to even dream of spending a small fortune (or over $2k) on a four legged accident prone beast with a mind of its own. I sincerely love the idea of the "diamond in the rough" horse and I think there are plenty out there who are more athletic than their current owner gives them credit for.
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| Who's to say how much potential he has just by looking at him? |
More than the money aspect, my dream is to buy a horse with good breeding, fantastic conformation, preferably a cool breed or at least a fancy looking Thoroughbred and never again have to worry about the athletic capabilities of my horse. I also don't ever want to worry about lameness, colic, cuts, or other things of that nature. Then I realize that no matter how much you pay for a horse, those things are always going to be worries. A $50,000 horse doesn't know it's any different than a $500 horse and wouldn't care if you were to tell it. I've heard plenty of horror stories of a perfectly healthy horse bowing it's tendon within a month of purchase, or having to undergo colic surgery, or being out of commission due to a bad cut in the pasture. Or what about the horse that has no health problems but you just don't get along with it? No one has enough money to guarantee impeccable health, no one.
So I've decided there is no such thing as a dream horse, per se. There are dream circumstances and amazing horses but you can't blame the circumstances on the horse or the horse on the circumstances. Everyone will have that time in their lives (if you stay in the sport long enough) where the horse and the timing just match up perfectly and you ride the cloud of euphoria as far as it can take you and hope that you are lucky enough to find that again.
Until then a quick description of my dream horse might look something like this:
Short cannon bones, well proportioned all around with a bit longer legs, good hock angles, straight legs, medium length back, soft eye, refined bone structure in the face, well proportioned ears, Irish Sport Horse, mare, 3-4 yrs old, and either bay, black or grey (but not fleabitten grey) with some chrome and an extra cool face marking.
I think that I am dreaming of a horse that, right now, exceeds my capabilities. I haven't started to compete at events yet and I am not an Olympian by any stretch at this point in my life. I don't NEED a horse that will take me 4' easy. Not yet. I need to ride the roller coaster that is the boys and learn as much as I can.
...And save up a pretty penny for that dream horse in the sky!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Don't Let the Rain Get You Down
If you read my previous post entitled "Where to Start?!" you know how I feel about the weatherman. If you didn't I'll sum it up: he's a buzz killing liar. No matter what my feelings are, he has made a prediction for the next week that includes rain in 6 out of the 7 days. While I'm guessing we might get a good day or two if we're lucky, I've prepared a list of some things that need to be done at the barn that keep getting swept under the rug in favor of riding time. I bet we all have a few honey-dos that we might be able to capitalize on during a good rainy week!
1. Strip stalls - This is never fun. You're throwing yourself into ankle deep pony excrement. You might as well open a bottle of ammonia in your car in the summer with the windows up and let the gagging ensue. The best part is, the pony is frolicking in straight mud, and by frolicking I mean rolling. A lot. So you're doing all this work, only to have to do more work when you're done. Then, the next day, those stinkin' ponies will have pooed again! The nerve.
2. Clean Tack - I've got good intentions almost every day to clean tack. When I stop thinking it needs to be done, you know we've got problems. But good intentions never a bridle cleaned. So many things sound more appealing than cleaning tack though! Riding, talking, sitting in my camp chair letting flies poop on me, browsing for spurs on my EBay ap in that same camping chair, and heck, even cleaning stalls. This week I'll have so much time to browse EBay I'll know every piece of horse equipment on there and when the bidding ends. The weather will be cool and the time will be endless. (I'm sure there are other things that might magically be able to capture my attention and make me forget all about tack cleaning...)
3. Grooming - Time to use both curry combs, all three soft brushes, hoof lotion and oil, thrush buster, clippers, Cowboy Magic, and fly spray. And then after all that immobilize the horses in the middle of their stalls and insert a feeding tube, catheter and colostomy bag so they stay beautiful...
4. Practicing Braiding - The first step here will actually be to LEARN the braiding. But with a whole week (ahem, RIGHT Mr. Weatherman?) of rain surely I'll have some time to perfect my newly acquired skill!
5. Pulling Manes - Right along side braiding, I'll need to do some mane pulling. Panda's mane is going Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on me. It used to lie all on one side but I'll show up and it's split right down the middle and the next day just the tip top is peeking over the wrong side. I did kind of a quick hack job when he first arrived to get him looking the part of new eventer in training anyway. It's got to be fixed!
6. Organizing the Tack Trunk - The other day I was asked if someone could borrow my hoof pick. I wound up explaining where it was like this, "It's in the red tack trunk under my saddle. Not the off red trunk, but the other one. I'm pretty sure it's not in the black one. When you go in there it's probably under the 2 baby pads, next to the hoof polish. If it's not there, dig down about 2 more inches and it'll be in between the 6 broken pairs of bell boots and the dried out set of reins I'm terrified to use." Don't ask why I've got broken equipment. You never know... I may have a slight hoarder mentality.
7. Planning out the Next Few Months of Training - I need to take a quick peek into my 101 Exercises books and sit down with a piece of paper and pen (or an excel spread sheet) and figure out who needs what exercise the most. I need to figure out who I'm riding on what day. I really need to analyze how much time I truly have each day and what is a plausible amount of time to spend at the barn (all day is not an option at this point no matter how tempting it sounds). There are things at home that just need to get done. Like my mom always used to say, "The floor doesn't sweep itself!" Unfortunately that wasn't just a ploy to get me to do my chores, it's actually true.
That's a halfway decent list to start on. I'm sure each person can add a bit to this list but for now, those are my basics and also my must-dos. Hopefully with a little more time on my hands my house might get a little cleaning too!
1. Strip stalls - This is never fun. You're throwing yourself into ankle deep pony excrement. You might as well open a bottle of ammonia in your car in the summer with the windows up and let the gagging ensue. The best part is, the pony is frolicking in straight mud, and by frolicking I mean rolling. A lot. So you're doing all this work, only to have to do more work when you're done. Then, the next day, those stinkin' ponies will have pooed again! The nerve.
2. Clean Tack - I've got good intentions almost every day to clean tack. When I stop thinking it needs to be done, you know we've got problems. But good intentions never a bridle cleaned. So many things sound more appealing than cleaning tack though! Riding, talking, sitting in my camp chair letting flies poop on me, browsing for spurs on my EBay ap in that same camping chair, and heck, even cleaning stalls. This week I'll have so much time to browse EBay I'll know every piece of horse equipment on there and when the bidding ends. The weather will be cool and the time will be endless. (I'm sure there are other things that might magically be able to capture my attention and make me forget all about tack cleaning...)
3. Grooming - Time to use both curry combs, all three soft brushes, hoof lotion and oil, thrush buster, clippers, Cowboy Magic, and fly spray. And then after all that immobilize the horses in the middle of their stalls and insert a feeding tube, catheter and colostomy bag so they stay beautiful...
4. Practicing Braiding - The first step here will actually be to LEARN the braiding. But with a whole week (ahem, RIGHT Mr. Weatherman?) of rain surely I'll have some time to perfect my newly acquired skill!
5. Pulling Manes - Right along side braiding, I'll need to do some mane pulling. Panda's mane is going Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on me. It used to lie all on one side but I'll show up and it's split right down the middle and the next day just the tip top is peeking over the wrong side. I did kind of a quick hack job when he first arrived to get him looking the part of new eventer in training anyway. It's got to be fixed!
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| Panda's mane. Mainly behaving today. |
6. Organizing the Tack Trunk - The other day I was asked if someone could borrow my hoof pick. I wound up explaining where it was like this, "It's in the red tack trunk under my saddle. Not the off red trunk, but the other one. I'm pretty sure it's not in the black one. When you go in there it's probably under the 2 baby pads, next to the hoof polish. If it's not there, dig down about 2 more inches and it'll be in between the 6 broken pairs of bell boots and the dried out set of reins I'm terrified to use." Don't ask why I've got broken equipment. You never know... I may have a slight hoarder mentality.
7. Planning out the Next Few Months of Training - I need to take a quick peek into my 101 Exercises books and sit down with a piece of paper and pen (or an excel spread sheet) and figure out who needs what exercise the most. I need to figure out who I'm riding on what day. I really need to analyze how much time I truly have each day and what is a plausible amount of time to spend at the barn (all day is not an option at this point no matter how tempting it sounds). There are things at home that just need to get done. Like my mom always used to say, "The floor doesn't sweep itself!" Unfortunately that wasn't just a ploy to get me to do my chores, it's actually true.
That's a halfway decent list to start on. I'm sure each person can add a bit to this list but for now, those are my basics and also my must-dos. Hopefully with a little more time on my hands my house might get a little cleaning too!
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Where to Start?!
This morning I had a mini meltdown. It wasn't so mini as it was overly dramatic. I was close to tears and puppy kicking due to a terrible mix of a 14+ hour work day/night, lack of a nap (or much sleep), no rain, and no plan. I hit the sheets at about 4:30 am and woke up bright and early at 8:30, which my dogs will tell you, that is sleeping in. After convincing myself to lay in bed for an extra half hour I hopped up and Kiba and I took a trip out to the barn.
The weatherman has led us to believe we are about to enter monsoon season with much enthusiasm. For over a week the forecast has convinced us that Saturday is the day heaven's flood gates will reign down water like Niagra Falls has never seen, that thunder and lightning will ensue and we will be stuck inside for fear of becoming a human lightning rod, and this torrential downpour will last a full week. This has proven to be not so much untrue as an outright, blatant lie. This morning, as I made my groggy way to the barn in the 100% humidity, there were maybe three clouds in the sky. Yet when I checked my handy dandy weather ap on my phone it basically shouted at me, "STOP CHECKING ME. IT'S GOING TO RAIN, LIKE, ANY MOMENT NOW. JUST BE PATIENT."
I mentioned I was cranky partly because I didn't have a plan. That's untrue. I was cranky because my plan was to wake up several times in the middle of the night with terrified dogs in my bed because of the loud crashes of thunder outside. It was to let them outside to go potty and have 2 feet of water pour into my house from the 24 inches of rain we had received in the 4 hours since I went to sleep. It was to be forced to stay inside and do all of the things I haven't been able to do because the beautiful weather outside has been calling my name. It did come with the backup plan of, "If it, for some crazy reason, ISN'T raining when I wake up, I'll sneak out to the barn to ride before this week of El Nino."
So the conclusion we can all draw is that I had to go to the backup plan of riding this morning because the only water outside was the humidity you could almost see hanging in the air. The other conclusion some might draw is that the weatherman was receiving a vast majority of my ill intended wishes. As I arrived at the barn, after picking up feed and supplements, it was almost 10. There were errands to run, lunch to eat, and the ever important nap to attempt and yet again fail at. I wanted to be home by noon but with three horses to ride and feed and stalls to clean it was inevitably impossible.
Why am I boring you with this story of my unimportantly busy day, you are probably asking? Because today I had to realize something. I will probably continue to have to realize this same thing a few more times for it to sink in, but it was monumental that I even grasped this concept. I can't do everything. While that seems really basic and kind of dumb, which is true, I have obviously been missing the idea that I am only one person.
I have these huge plans for the boys. Shows, trailering/traveling, clinics, ribbons, training rides, lessons, exercise schedules, perfect health (for me and them), abundant time, etc. I took a huge breath today and asked myself, "Does it REALLY matter if Panda is the only horse I ride today?" And then some voice somewhere, cause believe me it wasn't mine, mine would never say this, answered me, "No! It totally doesn't. Relax!" I've been in such a hurry to pick up where I left off 6 years ago that I've unknowingly been taking it out on the boys and myself. A misstep here, a poor jump there and I feel like my plans and world are falling down.
Please don't misunderstand me, I have huge plans still. And I also think we all know that if each horse got ridden every day we would move forward a lot faster and be ready sooner. But if the boys are all ready to show next month that still leaves the problem of the trailer, the money to show, the shows to enter, the equipment I am lacking, my trainer's time, etc. Those are huge and important necessities in this game we call horse showing. I want to be great, and I desire nothing less than greatness for the horses too, but if our path to greatness takes a few days off every now and then to allow me, the trainer/rider/groom/crazy lady with the dreams/stall cleaner/mom, to have a moment of peace and accomplish the other things in life that continue to pile up, then so be it. Unfortunately I am not a professional rider or stay at home horse mom so that I can devote every waking hour to my passion. Not yet.
I need to realize that just because my dream isn't happening or accomplished tomorrow doesn't mean I'm failing. It's going to take a long time, longer than a few days or even a few months or years. So unless I want my goal in life to be making it to Target to get Jesse a new dog bed and filling my car up with gas, it will not be plausible to accomplish it tomorrow. In Denny Emerson's book, "How Good Riders Get Good" he talks about making choices that continue to get you closer and closer to your end goal. Those are things I can accomplish daily or weekly and those are the things I need to look at to be reassured that I'm on the right path.
"The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step." If you don't ever start you won't ever get there.
The weatherman has led us to believe we are about to enter monsoon season with much enthusiasm. For over a week the forecast has convinced us that Saturday is the day heaven's flood gates will reign down water like Niagra Falls has never seen, that thunder and lightning will ensue and we will be stuck inside for fear of becoming a human lightning rod, and this torrential downpour will last a full week. This has proven to be not so much untrue as an outright, blatant lie. This morning, as I made my groggy way to the barn in the 100% humidity, there were maybe three clouds in the sky. Yet when I checked my handy dandy weather ap on my phone it basically shouted at me, "STOP CHECKING ME. IT'S GOING TO RAIN, LIKE, ANY MOMENT NOW. JUST BE PATIENT."
I mentioned I was cranky partly because I didn't have a plan. That's untrue. I was cranky because my plan was to wake up several times in the middle of the night with terrified dogs in my bed because of the loud crashes of thunder outside. It was to let them outside to go potty and have 2 feet of water pour into my house from the 24 inches of rain we had received in the 4 hours since I went to sleep. It was to be forced to stay inside and do all of the things I haven't been able to do because the beautiful weather outside has been calling my name. It did come with the backup plan of, "If it, for some crazy reason, ISN'T raining when I wake up, I'll sneak out to the barn to ride before this week of El Nino."
So the conclusion we can all draw is that I had to go to the backup plan of riding this morning because the only water outside was the humidity you could almost see hanging in the air. The other conclusion some might draw is that the weatherman was receiving a vast majority of my ill intended wishes. As I arrived at the barn, after picking up feed and supplements, it was almost 10. There were errands to run, lunch to eat, and the ever important nap to attempt and yet again fail at. I wanted to be home by noon but with three horses to ride and feed and stalls to clean it was inevitably impossible.
Why am I boring you with this story of my unimportantly busy day, you are probably asking? Because today I had to realize something. I will probably continue to have to realize this same thing a few more times for it to sink in, but it was monumental that I even grasped this concept. I can't do everything. While that seems really basic and kind of dumb, which is true, I have obviously been missing the idea that I am only one person.
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| Dreaming of a rainy day! |
I have these huge plans for the boys. Shows, trailering/traveling, clinics, ribbons, training rides, lessons, exercise schedules, perfect health (for me and them), abundant time, etc. I took a huge breath today and asked myself, "Does it REALLY matter if Panda is the only horse I ride today?" And then some voice somewhere, cause believe me it wasn't mine, mine would never say this, answered me, "No! It totally doesn't. Relax!" I've been in such a hurry to pick up where I left off 6 years ago that I've unknowingly been taking it out on the boys and myself. A misstep here, a poor jump there and I feel like my plans and world are falling down.
Please don't misunderstand me, I have huge plans still. And I also think we all know that if each horse got ridden every day we would move forward a lot faster and be ready sooner. But if the boys are all ready to show next month that still leaves the problem of the trailer, the money to show, the shows to enter, the equipment I am lacking, my trainer's time, etc. Those are huge and important necessities in this game we call horse showing. I want to be great, and I desire nothing less than greatness for the horses too, but if our path to greatness takes a few days off every now and then to allow me, the trainer/rider/groom/crazy lady with the dreams/stall cleaner/mom, to have a moment of peace and accomplish the other things in life that continue to pile up, then so be it. Unfortunately I am not a professional rider or stay at home horse mom so that I can devote every waking hour to my passion. Not yet.
 |
| Gotta start somewhere! |
I need to realize that just because my dream isn't happening or accomplished tomorrow doesn't mean I'm failing. It's going to take a long time, longer than a few days or even a few months or years. So unless I want my goal in life to be making it to Target to get Jesse a new dog bed and filling my car up with gas, it will not be plausible to accomplish it tomorrow. In Denny Emerson's book, "How Good Riders Get Good" he talks about making choices that continue to get you closer and closer to your end goal. Those are things I can accomplish daily or weekly and those are the things I need to look at to be reassured that I'm on the right path.
"The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step." If you don't ever start you won't ever get there.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Dealing With Barn Drama
People are like chemicals, they're colorful, smell different, and it's super fun to put them together, stir them up, and see how they react. One explosion every once in a while is fun, 2+ close together and it gets dangerous.
If you live your life in a non-emo non-depressing way or even if you come out of your room once in a blue moon to interact with your family, you've been a part of this sometimes lethal concoction. A barn is no different than any other life situation except that you have a bunch of know-it-alls who are right. No matter what. So what I'm saying is, it's 10 times worse than most situations you might encounter in every day life. Factor in the whole "self care" idea and you're playing with fire.
There are a million ways to skin a cat. There are also a million ways to brush your teeth, eat your cereal, walk your dog, drive your car, play uno with friends, change your fish's water, and get to the center of a tootsie pop. What I'm trying to say is, everyone does stuff with their horses differently. So when Fred sees Sally feed Tonto 2 scoops of 10% sweet feed mixed with rice bran, Fred tells Mary, Andrew, Eduardo and Victor how Tonto is starving and malnourished because he needs 12% pellet with alfalfa pellets. Since they think Tonto needs Vegetable oil, Red Cell, Beat Pulp, and 14% respectively, they agree that Tonto is going to die very soon and thus, drama ensues.
Besides feeding, other things that can cause issues are training styles. While the Western guys and the ladies who ride English tend not to make recommendations across disciplines, within saddle choice there are a lot of ideas buzzing around. Jerk this way, soft hands that way, kick now, wrap his tail up so he doesn't have to be embarrassed of that short thing, change the color of his bridle, turn right before turning left, rub his right ear three times, whatever you do, DON'T PUSH HIM!
Then of course, at a self care place, you run the risk of arguments over cleanliness. Rolling up hoses, sweeping aisles, how often one cleans their stall, untidy tack, stinky water buckets, and left wheelbarrows start a lot of problems. Then you've got those special people that think grooming needs to happen twice a day and your horse is abused because you skipped a day. Or you didn't put its blanket on or turn it out for at least 2.65 hours (which is of course, the scientifically determined amount of time a horse needs to be out in the sun per day. 4.32 hours in the winter. I hope you don't believe me).
Barn drama is best dealt with by caring what other people think of you and doing everything in your power to make everyone happy. Since that is a terrible way to live your life and you will end up making your horse colic trying to feed them off everyone's recommendations, my suggestion is to blow this idea off. The second best idea is to not voice your opinions. HA! That should be funnier to you than the first idea. We are all aware that animal people are the most outspoken breed of person on earth. We can, however, modify this approach to make it work. If you must put something into words, make sure those words are able to be summed up and repeated (by you) to the person of whom you have an opinion. Seriously. It works. Because seriously, it's going to be repeated in some way shape or form to that same person.
For the record, the absolute worst way (or two) to deal with barn drama is to internalize it (you'll only get more mad) or to pick a fight. I would never in a million years suggest to you to go up to a person at the barn and tell them they have an ugly pony, or their stall is too dirty, or their saddle is in the wrong place or their boots are the wrong brand. Definitely don't do that. But if you want to, film it. Please.
If you live your life in a non-emo non-depressing way or even if you come out of your room once in a blue moon to interact with your family, you've been a part of this sometimes lethal concoction. A barn is no different than any other life situation except that you have a bunch of know-it-alls who are right. No matter what. So what I'm saying is, it's 10 times worse than most situations you might encounter in every day life. Factor in the whole "self care" idea and you're playing with fire.
There are a million ways to skin a cat. There are also a million ways to brush your teeth, eat your cereal, walk your dog, drive your car, play uno with friends, change your fish's water, and get to the center of a tootsie pop. What I'm trying to say is, everyone does stuff with their horses differently. So when Fred sees Sally feed Tonto 2 scoops of 10% sweet feed mixed with rice bran, Fred tells Mary, Andrew, Eduardo and Victor how Tonto is starving and malnourished because he needs 12% pellet with alfalfa pellets. Since they think Tonto needs Vegetable oil, Red Cell, Beat Pulp, and 14% respectively, they agree that Tonto is going to die very soon and thus, drama ensues.
Besides feeding, other things that can cause issues are training styles. While the Western guys and the ladies who ride English tend not to make recommendations across disciplines, within saddle choice there are a lot of ideas buzzing around. Jerk this way, soft hands that way, kick now, wrap his tail up so he doesn't have to be embarrassed of that short thing, change the color of his bridle, turn right before turning left, rub his right ear three times, whatever you do, DON'T PUSH HIM!
Then of course, at a self care place, you run the risk of arguments over cleanliness. Rolling up hoses, sweeping aisles, how often one cleans their stall, untidy tack, stinky water buckets, and left wheelbarrows start a lot of problems. Then you've got those special people that think grooming needs to happen twice a day and your horse is abused because you skipped a day. Or you didn't put its blanket on or turn it out for at least 2.65 hours (which is of course, the scientifically determined amount of time a horse needs to be out in the sun per day. 4.32 hours in the winter. I hope you don't believe me).
Barn drama is best dealt with by caring what other people think of you and doing everything in your power to make everyone happy. Since that is a terrible way to live your life and you will end up making your horse colic trying to feed them off everyone's recommendations, my suggestion is to blow this idea off. The second best idea is to not voice your opinions. HA! That should be funnier to you than the first idea. We are all aware that animal people are the most outspoken breed of person on earth. We can, however, modify this approach to make it work. If you must put something into words, make sure those words are able to be summed up and repeated (by you) to the person of whom you have an opinion. Seriously. It works. Because seriously, it's going to be repeated in some way shape or form to that same person.
For the record, the absolute worst way (or two) to deal with barn drama is to internalize it (you'll only get more mad) or to pick a fight. I would never in a million years suggest to you to go up to a person at the barn and tell them they have an ugly pony, or their stall is too dirty, or their saddle is in the wrong place or their boots are the wrong brand. Definitely don't do that. But if you want to, film it. Please.
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| Keep grooming areas tidy to minimize grumpiness! |
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Stop Putting The Horses On The Trailers!!
We no longer live in the age of the pioneer, where horses are our main mode of transportation and we live within riding distance of anything we may need. At this point, riding a horse many places that are not made for riding horses can be pretty dangerous. Mainly because cars are much larger, louder and faster than our spooky pony friends and I've never heard of any pleasant experiences when people or horses get hit by moving vehicles. This makes trailering horses more of a necessity than a luxury.
Since I've been at the barn we've had several reasons to use a trailer, and with my plans for the future, we will have to use a trailer a whole bunch more.
Ironically, scaredy pants Cash took the path of least resistance when it came to trailer time. Well, if you call the path of least resistance me, getting lost in his wooded 100+ acre pasture for 1.5 hours and having to get a search party of tiny girls on horses with buckets of feed to find and catch him. Once all that was over then, by golly, he was a dream to load! He barely looked at the stock trailer before doing a graceful 8 inch step on to be carted away to his new home.
I didn't have to experience Marvel's trailer load to arrive at the barn but I did get to load him up to take him to the vet to be neutered. I don't know if he knew that's why he was getting on the trailer and that caused him to act up a bit or if he didn't want to leave his fun new home (That totally has to be it right?!) but he was a bit of a pain in the neck. He didn't WANT to get on the trailer. He wasn't particularly frightened of it, but, I mean, as long as I was asking, his answer was a resounding no. He toyed with my emotions by sticking his head in the trailer, to which I shouted, "Good BOY!" then backing up 3 steps past where he was before he did that. Then he stepped a foot on and we repeated the process. Then both front feet. Then a back foot. Finally he walked right on the trailer, possibly due to becoming bored of the game or annoyed at my silly happy dance. PS, he tried to play this same game when we loaded back up on the trailer but he didn't anticipate two 300 pound men locking arms behind his hiney and taking this game from A to Z in record time.
Now comes the fun. Panda. Panda, panda, panda. We were waiting weeks for this horse. There was always something so we decided, "Carpe Diem. Why do tomorrow what you can do today. I can do anything better than you. I want it now. Just do it." and we hopped in the car to grab him. For a full explanation of why we almost shot ourselves square between the eyes see my article entitled "Panda." In short, this horse was playing a whole different game than Marvel, but it was still a game, and it lasted close to 3 hours. This game was called the "Why? Make me!" game. Similar to the, "I don't have to, you're not my real mom!" game, here we have the horse questioning our judgment and opting for the easy way out because that opportunity has always been open to him. Eventually, with a bit of food (fatty McFatty pants loves him some grain) the horse was non-traumatically placed on the trailer.
Jelly Bean gets an honorable mention here. When we decided to seize the day, we took it for all it was worth. Jelly loaded up on the trailer with less todo than Cash. We took her to go get Panda and she had to load on the trailer twice! She was a pro both times. We had a little moment where coaxing, and then scary thing waving, commenced but honestly no real problems were had. Especially considering this weird older man she'd never met was bumping bottoms with her in the trailer all the way home.
Last, and in no way least (because let's face it, we don't want her to try and outdo herself) we have Indie. I was not fortunate enough to be present during this event but I will sum up the events in the way they were relayed to me as best I can. She was ready to go when they arrived, trailer doors come open, but instead of games, she was real live legitimately terrified of this moving horse killer. Many hours of attempting to load the horse on the trailer the ladies were asked to step away from the trailer and let the menfolk handle the situation. Sometime after this point blood was shed. A lot of blood. All down the front of her face. Apparently she reared up and split her head open, from the middle of her forelock to the middle of her nose, down to the bone. The best part is that she wasn't on the trailer when she did this, but it did knock some sense into her and after that she loaded right up. All joking aside, this required some pretty immediate veterinary attention and some pretty long term desensitization. PS, she healed up great and is being ridden like a champ!
So if there is one thing, no, maybe 2, that my readers can take away from this article I would have to say:
Since I've been at the barn we've had several reasons to use a trailer, and with my plans for the future, we will have to use a trailer a whole bunch more.
Ironically, scaredy pants Cash took the path of least resistance when it came to trailer time. Well, if you call the path of least resistance me, getting lost in his wooded 100+ acre pasture for 1.5 hours and having to get a search party of tiny girls on horses with buckets of feed to find and catch him. Once all that was over then, by golly, he was a dream to load! He barely looked at the stock trailer before doing a graceful 8 inch step on to be carted away to his new home.
I didn't have to experience Marvel's trailer load to arrive at the barn but I did get to load him up to take him to the vet to be neutered. I don't know if he knew that's why he was getting on the trailer and that caused him to act up a bit or if he didn't want to leave his fun new home (That totally has to be it right?!) but he was a bit of a pain in the neck. He didn't WANT to get on the trailer. He wasn't particularly frightened of it, but, I mean, as long as I was asking, his answer was a resounding no. He toyed with my emotions by sticking his head in the trailer, to which I shouted, "Good BOY!" then backing up 3 steps past where he was before he did that. Then he stepped a foot on and we repeated the process. Then both front feet. Then a back foot. Finally he walked right on the trailer, possibly due to becoming bored of the game or annoyed at my silly happy dance. PS, he tried to play this same game when we loaded back up on the trailer but he didn't anticipate two 300 pound men locking arms behind his hiney and taking this game from A to Z in record time.
Now comes the fun. Panda. Panda, panda, panda. We were waiting weeks for this horse. There was always something so we decided, "Carpe Diem. Why do tomorrow what you can do today. I can do anything better than you. I want it now. Just do it." and we hopped in the car to grab him. For a full explanation of why we almost shot ourselves square between the eyes see my article entitled "Panda." In short, this horse was playing a whole different game than Marvel, but it was still a game, and it lasted close to 3 hours. This game was called the "Why? Make me!" game. Similar to the, "I don't have to, you're not my real mom!" game, here we have the horse questioning our judgment and opting for the easy way out because that opportunity has always been open to him. Eventually, with a bit of food (fatty McFatty pants loves him some grain) the horse was non-traumatically placed on the trailer.
Jelly Bean gets an honorable mention here. When we decided to seize the day, we took it for all it was worth. Jelly loaded up on the trailer with less todo than Cash. We took her to go get Panda and she had to load on the trailer twice! She was a pro both times. We had a little moment where coaxing, and then scary thing waving, commenced but honestly no real problems were had. Especially considering this weird older man she'd never met was bumping bottoms with her in the trailer all the way home.
Last, and in no way least (because let's face it, we don't want her to try and outdo herself) we have Indie. I was not fortunate enough to be present during this event but I will sum up the events in the way they were relayed to me as best I can. She was ready to go when they arrived, trailer doors come open, but instead of games, she was real live legitimately terrified of this moving horse killer. Many hours of attempting to load the horse on the trailer the ladies were asked to step away from the trailer and let the menfolk handle the situation. Sometime after this point blood was shed. A lot of blood. All down the front of her face. Apparently she reared up and split her head open, from the middle of her forelock to the middle of her nose, down to the bone. The best part is that she wasn't on the trailer when she did this, but it did knock some sense into her and after that she loaded right up. All joking aside, this required some pretty immediate veterinary attention and some pretty long term desensitization. PS, she healed up great and is being ridden like a champ!
So if there is one thing, no, maybe 2, that my readers can take away from this article I would have to say:
- Please, we are begging you, from the bottom most parts of our heart and pocket books, PUH-LEEEEEEZ practice loading your horses up. Honestly.
- When you go to look at a horse, have them PROVE to you that they can load the horse on a trailer. Panda was not worth what was paid due to the heartache we did endure and will continue to endure. Indie had so many vet bills after this incident that could've been avoided. If the horse can't load in a trailer and you want it to be a show horse have them both drop the price and work with the horse (I promise, it's not going anywhere soon. :P). It is ridiculous for people to look over this extremely relevant bit of training.
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| Indie, before getting stitched up by our local vet. |
Monday, October 7, 2013
1 if by light, 2 if by wind: The blankets are coming. THE BLANKETS ARE COMING!
Today was overly and excessively busy for me. On top of working, many, many, MANY things had to be done at the barn. The farrier came out to do about 15 horse's feet, stalls needed cleaning, today was my day to feed an extra three horses that Amanda, Brooke and I are watching for some friends, I had a lesson to teach, I meant to (but did not get around to it) put some more shavings in the stalls, and I made sure the horses' blankets fit.
That last one was, like, mega importante to accomplish today. Just a week ago (MAYBE a week and a half ago) we were all thinking about buzzing our heads and riding in short shorts. I was sweating while giving my horses a bath. The humidity was proving to everyone, through me, that white girls really can have fros.
Somehow, there was a day where it got to be in the 80s last week, and by 80s I mean it was 88. The boys decided that it would be an epically good opportunity to grow in their whole winter coat instantly. Literally one day I was admiring their pretty little sleek summer coats and the next day I show up and Cash is poofed out like a scared cat surrounded by 20 vicious dogs, Panda has hair you can run a human hair brush through, and Marvel has regular length hair (I swear in the summer that horse is so sleek he's bald).
I don't know if this growth of hair is somehow a way to get back at me for all the brushing I've been doing during the rainy days but I am not a fan. Their hair is at that length where when you curry them, the dust just leaves curry trails under the hair that you can't remove. Marvel's tail is full of static. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?! If not brushing them every day will convince them to not Wooly Mammoth out every winter, I will lay off!
So today I roll up, blankets in hand(s), ready to wrap my horses in snuggly warmness that, at this point, is probably unnecessary. Especially seeing as 2 out of the 3 of them lived outside for a majority of their lives. Each horse presented an interesting set of issues, making this blanketing thing a pain in my rear end and schedule.
Marvel made me chase him around the stall a few times (AH! Scary blanket monster! Mom, come quick! WAIT, THE BLANKET MONSTER HAS EATEN MOM!). After a few traumatic moments the blanket was fit snugly on Marvel and I found out that one of the stomach straps is completely gone. Then I thought I forgot the leg straps and almost gave up. Alas, I don't give myself enough credit and found the leg straps in the bag I brought his blanket in. One horse down.
Panda was the easiest of the three. He stood there and ate his food as I blanketed him like a champ. Then he showed off his bootyliciousness (his bum was popping out of the blanket a bit) so I had to make a few minor adjustments. Big horse hiney aside, we had no other mishaps. Two horses down, one more to go.
I don't really know why I thought I would get anywhere quickly with Cash. I walked him in the barn and he flipped out up, down and sideways at the blanket bags lying in the aisle. Then, his blanket is the kind that you put their head through the neck hole. Why would anyone ever design a blanket this way? Honestly. What horse is automatically like, "Yes, I would so enjoy you putting a tent like object that makes scary noises and looks like a black hole of death over and around my head so that I cannot see for more than a split second." Not only all of that, but it had to fit only my most scared horse. So in I come, terrifying blanket in hand. Cash backs around the stall faster than I've ever seen him move, keeping his bottom toward the blanket and I. This put me in real fear for my life momentarily but he did eventually take a long rattling breath and face me. He thought he was about to be eaten by this thing, I really believe that. As I made my slow way toward him he decided to just stand there. I don't know why and I certainly didn't expect it but as soon as I reached him he let me throw the horse eating monster over his head and strap it on him. Granted, he didn't move a muscle more likely because he was frozen in fear than trusting me not to kill him, but he still let me put it on him. I hope this didn't set me down a couple notches in the trust category but as soon as I left the stall he started eating dinner again so I think he is ok.
I was later told that light, rather than weather, is the cause of horses growing their winter coats. So this whole time that it's been getting darker earlier has messed with their internal hair clock and advised them to fluff out a month or two earlier than necessary. I'm not sure what I believe but if it's going to be in the 50s at night, they are going to have blankets on. No matter how many times I have to give Cash a heart attack or chase Marvel around his stall.
That last one was, like, mega importante to accomplish today. Just a week ago (MAYBE a week and a half ago) we were all thinking about buzzing our heads and riding in short shorts. I was sweating while giving my horses a bath. The humidity was proving to everyone, through me, that white girls really can have fros.
Somehow, there was a day where it got to be in the 80s last week, and by 80s I mean it was 88. The boys decided that it would be an epically good opportunity to grow in their whole winter coat instantly. Literally one day I was admiring their pretty little sleek summer coats and the next day I show up and Cash is poofed out like a scared cat surrounded by 20 vicious dogs, Panda has hair you can run a human hair brush through, and Marvel has regular length hair (I swear in the summer that horse is so sleek he's bald).
I don't know if this growth of hair is somehow a way to get back at me for all the brushing I've been doing during the rainy days but I am not a fan. Their hair is at that length where when you curry them, the dust just leaves curry trails under the hair that you can't remove. Marvel's tail is full of static. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?! If not brushing them every day will convince them to not Wooly Mammoth out every winter, I will lay off!
So today I roll up, blankets in hand(s), ready to wrap my horses in snuggly warmness that, at this point, is probably unnecessary. Especially seeing as 2 out of the 3 of them lived outside for a majority of their lives. Each horse presented an interesting set of issues, making this blanketing thing a pain in my rear end and schedule.
Marvel made me chase him around the stall a few times (AH! Scary blanket monster! Mom, come quick! WAIT, THE BLANKET MONSTER HAS EATEN MOM!). After a few traumatic moments the blanket was fit snugly on Marvel and I found out that one of the stomach straps is completely gone. Then I thought I forgot the leg straps and almost gave up. Alas, I don't give myself enough credit and found the leg straps in the bag I brought his blanket in. One horse down.
Panda was the easiest of the three. He stood there and ate his food as I blanketed him like a champ. Then he showed off his bootyliciousness (his bum was popping out of the blanket a bit) so I had to make a few minor adjustments. Big horse hiney aside, we had no other mishaps. Two horses down, one more to go.
I don't really know why I thought I would get anywhere quickly with Cash. I walked him in the barn and he flipped out up, down and sideways at the blanket bags lying in the aisle. Then, his blanket is the kind that you put their head through the neck hole. Why would anyone ever design a blanket this way? Honestly. What horse is automatically like, "Yes, I would so enjoy you putting a tent like object that makes scary noises and looks like a black hole of death over and around my head so that I cannot see for more than a split second." Not only all of that, but it had to fit only my most scared horse. So in I come, terrifying blanket in hand. Cash backs around the stall faster than I've ever seen him move, keeping his bottom toward the blanket and I. This put me in real fear for my life momentarily but he did eventually take a long rattling breath and face me. He thought he was about to be eaten by this thing, I really believe that. As I made my slow way toward him he decided to just stand there. I don't know why and I certainly didn't expect it but as soon as I reached him he let me throw the horse eating monster over his head and strap it on him. Granted, he didn't move a muscle more likely because he was frozen in fear than trusting me not to kill him, but he still let me put it on him. I hope this didn't set me down a couple notches in the trust category but as soon as I left the stall he started eating dinner again so I think he is ok.
I was later told that light, rather than weather, is the cause of horses growing their winter coats. So this whole time that it's been getting darker earlier has messed with their internal hair clock and advised them to fluff out a month or two earlier than necessary. I'm not sure what I believe but if it's going to be in the 50s at night, they are going to have blankets on. No matter how many times I have to give Cash a heart attack or chase Marvel around his stall.
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| Indie, Brooke's horse, being a great model! |
Friday, October 4, 2013
Germs and You; an in Depth Look at Why I'll Live Longer Than You
As I was making lunch today (after a trip to the barn and half a day of work) I noticed an excessive amount of dirt under my fingernails. Looking back on the day to that point I realized I had eaten popcorn, a muffin, a jolly rancher, goldfish and peanuts. Aside from how to curb my never ending appetite, I also wondered what that dirt was comprised of and how long it had been there.
As a bit of a back story. I am super duper OCD/germaphobe to the max. I can't deal with any type of human hair (dog and horse hair are not the end of the world) or slobber. I have close to 20 different bottles of lotion strategically placed throughout my house and purse because dry skin makes me grumpy. Dirty feet are the very tip of the end of the world. Don't mess with me if I have dirty feet. You've been warned.
So back to lunch and pondering the extent of the dirt under my fingernails... That dirt could contain E. coli! It could contain fecal matter (actually, that's almost a guarantee seeing as I was at the barn). There's a possibility I might die.
Then I sat there, eating Doritos with my still dirty fingernails, and thought. How many times have I cleaned a stall and eaten a sandwich directly afterwards? A lot of times. A WHOLE lot of times. Then there are those times when I was grooming my horse before a show and it was NOT ok for any dirt to be on him at all, but me and my hands filled with cheez-its were filthy with a week of whatever was in his stall and turnout.
Then there are those barn BBQ days where I couldn't even tell you what comprised the dirt staining my clothes and not coming off my hands. All I know is the BBQ tasted great and I don't know how the taste would've changed with clean hands! Not to mention all the flies landing on my food. I hope it's not true that they poo every time they land but if it is true... Actually, let's not think of that.
Horses add a lot of benefits to our lives. Mostly it's emotional along with building muscle and confidence. One of my benefits is constitutional. My immune system knows how to fight a LOT of different kinds of dirt and mud (unfortunately this probably includes poo). I don't know when else my immune system might encounter poo but rest assured, if it does, I'll live at least 15 minutes longer than a non-horse person. And 15 minutes is plenty of time for a quick ride!
As a bit of a back story. I am super duper OCD/germaphobe to the max. I can't deal with any type of human hair (dog and horse hair are not the end of the world) or slobber. I have close to 20 different bottles of lotion strategically placed throughout my house and purse because dry skin makes me grumpy. Dirty feet are the very tip of the end of the world. Don't mess with me if I have dirty feet. You've been warned.
So back to lunch and pondering the extent of the dirt under my fingernails... That dirt could contain E. coli! It could contain fecal matter (actually, that's almost a guarantee seeing as I was at the barn). There's a possibility I might die.
Then I sat there, eating Doritos with my still dirty fingernails, and thought. How many times have I cleaned a stall and eaten a sandwich directly afterwards? A lot of times. A WHOLE lot of times. Then there are those times when I was grooming my horse before a show and it was NOT ok for any dirt to be on him at all, but me and my hands filled with cheez-its were filthy with a week of whatever was in his stall and turnout.
Then there are those barn BBQ days where I couldn't even tell you what comprised the dirt staining my clothes and not coming off my hands. All I know is the BBQ tasted great and I don't know how the taste would've changed with clean hands! Not to mention all the flies landing on my food. I hope it's not true that they poo every time they land but if it is true... Actually, let's not think of that.
Horses add a lot of benefits to our lives. Mostly it's emotional along with building muscle and confidence. One of my benefits is constitutional. My immune system knows how to fight a LOT of different kinds of dirt and mud (unfortunately this probably includes poo). I don't know when else my immune system might encounter poo but rest assured, if it does, I'll live at least 15 minutes longer than a non-horse person. And 15 minutes is plenty of time for a quick ride!
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| Jesse's paw prints in the sand. Or that's what I hope it is... |
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Not All Things With 4 Legs at a Barn Are Horses
Jesse is the newest canine addition to my ever growing menagerie of a family. She is a 9 month old German Shepherd with the energy of a nuclear reactor. Like she pretty much puts off clouds of excess energy because she's got too much to store within herself. She has HUGE paws but forgot that she needed to keep growing so we've got a miniature German Shepherd with paws bigger than Kiba, my 100+ pound Shepherd.
I initially brought her to the barn to let her run off a bit of steam and help her sleep at night. Within a week she had buns of steel and biceps/shoulders a body builder would be jealous of from how much she ran. So I screwed the pooch on that one. Not only did she get in great shape which means she needs MORE running time to make her tired, she also eats about as much as both adult dogs put together.
Jesse has gone through some learning phases already and has experienced each and every one at the barn. The first and easiest phase to make it through was the "Everything is freaking scary" stage. Mom! That horse breathed at me! Mom, I think I saw a mouse! Mom, when I put my foot in that dirt it was wet and got on my leg! Mom, Ma, Mamma, Mommy! The poor dog got stepped on so much by running under my feet I guess it's not a wonder that her paws are the size of dinner plates.
The next phase she came to was the exploration phase. Once she realized that nothing was out to kill her and dance on her mangled body, she went polar opposite in her attitude and decided everything must be explored! Jesse the conquistador. Kids were cool, horses were big dogs (or she was a small horse), mud was cool and comfortable, and mice were fun to chase! She never let me too far out of her sight/range of hearing, but she gnawed off the umbilical cord and became her own dog.
The most embarrassing phase she's gone through is the racism phase. All dogs go through this phase, some are more noticeable than others. Our barn is diverse and multicultural/ethnic which I really like. One day it's like Jesse had explored everything, turned her attention to a Hispanic man she'd been around tons of times before and lost her mind. I don't know if she's freaked out that not everyone looks like mommy and daddy but I was beyond embarrassed. I was as embarrassed as those parents whose children ask if a larger lady is pregnant or if a teenager with acne has been bit by mosquitos. Mortified. We aren't quite out of this phase yet.
Right now we are in the rebellious, "I do what I want, you're not my real mom" phase. I wasn't ready for this phase yet. I was in denial about the arrival of this phase. I was hoping she was so happy-go-lucky that she would skirt this phase and we'd be through it in days. Wrong. This independent, hard headed, happy, and energetic puppy bull dozed into this phase with as much gusto as she bull dozes over my shoes in the hallway (I think she aims at them). She not only thinks horses want to play with her at all times and trots barely a step in front of them when they're being ridden, she now turns around and barks at their noses. She doesn't come when I call her, in fact, when I call her she acknowledges me and runs in the opposite direction. She eats horse feed after being scolded not to. She doesn't get in her kennel when told. She still barks at people of other ethnicities. She annoys the other dogs at the barn by pouncing on their sleeping bodies. And she does all of this and runs her head off for 6 hours straight at the barn!
She's great to help desensitize the horses and it's awesome to watch her air-headed acrobatics when chasing a dragonfly. She's always so happy which I envy and love very much. But I am just not ready to accept my innocent puppy has turned into a manipulative monster of a free thinking dog. Unfortunately, if I want to bring her to the barn for much longer and if she enjoys being out there, a "Come to Jesus" meeting must be had between her and I and our trusty friend, the E-Collar. There can be no nipping of heels or barking at horses.
E-Collar, meet Jesse. Jesse, meet the new version of a spanking that will blow your mind cause I don't have to be within arm's reach.
I initially brought her to the barn to let her run off a bit of steam and help her sleep at night. Within a week she had buns of steel and biceps/shoulders a body builder would be jealous of from how much she ran. So I screwed the pooch on that one. Not only did she get in great shape which means she needs MORE running time to make her tired, she also eats about as much as both adult dogs put together.
Jesse has gone through some learning phases already and has experienced each and every one at the barn. The first and easiest phase to make it through was the "Everything is freaking scary" stage. Mom! That horse breathed at me! Mom, I think I saw a mouse! Mom, when I put my foot in that dirt it was wet and got on my leg! Mom, Ma, Mamma, Mommy! The poor dog got stepped on so much by running under my feet I guess it's not a wonder that her paws are the size of dinner plates.
The next phase she came to was the exploration phase. Once she realized that nothing was out to kill her and dance on her mangled body, she went polar opposite in her attitude and decided everything must be explored! Jesse the conquistador. Kids were cool, horses were big dogs (or she was a small horse), mud was cool and comfortable, and mice were fun to chase! She never let me too far out of her sight/range of hearing, but she gnawed off the umbilical cord and became her own dog.
The most embarrassing phase she's gone through is the racism phase. All dogs go through this phase, some are more noticeable than others. Our barn is diverse and multicultural/ethnic which I really like. One day it's like Jesse had explored everything, turned her attention to a Hispanic man she'd been around tons of times before and lost her mind. I don't know if she's freaked out that not everyone looks like mommy and daddy but I was beyond embarrassed. I was as embarrassed as those parents whose children ask if a larger lady is pregnant or if a teenager with acne has been bit by mosquitos. Mortified. We aren't quite out of this phase yet.
Right now we are in the rebellious, "I do what I want, you're not my real mom" phase. I wasn't ready for this phase yet. I was in denial about the arrival of this phase. I was hoping she was so happy-go-lucky that she would skirt this phase and we'd be through it in days. Wrong. This independent, hard headed, happy, and energetic puppy bull dozed into this phase with as much gusto as she bull dozes over my shoes in the hallway (I think she aims at them). She not only thinks horses want to play with her at all times and trots barely a step in front of them when they're being ridden, she now turns around and barks at their noses. She doesn't come when I call her, in fact, when I call her she acknowledges me and runs in the opposite direction. She eats horse feed after being scolded not to. She doesn't get in her kennel when told. She still barks at people of other ethnicities. She annoys the other dogs at the barn by pouncing on their sleeping bodies. And she does all of this and runs her head off for 6 hours straight at the barn!
She's great to help desensitize the horses and it's awesome to watch her air-headed acrobatics when chasing a dragonfly. She's always so happy which I envy and love very much. But I am just not ready to accept my innocent puppy has turned into a manipulative monster of a free thinking dog. Unfortunately, if I want to bring her to the barn for much longer and if she enjoys being out there, a "Come to Jesus" meeting must be had between her and I and our trusty friend, the E-Collar. There can be no nipping of heels or barking at horses.
E-Collar, meet Jesse. Jesse, meet the new version of a spanking that will blow your mind cause I don't have to be within arm's reach.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
5 Month Update on Marvel
Marvel is an incredible horse. He arrived around 5 months ago as a 5 year old stallion with, from what I understand, no real training other than being a racehorse. His feet had been left untrimmed for an unknown amount of time and he had splay feet. A friend of mine had him and fixed him up quite a bit but there was a long road ahead of us.
5 days after he arrived he made a trip to A&M to be gelded. He also got his feet trimmed by their farrier. Between recovery time and his short toes, I wasn't able to ride him for almost a month. Finally I was able to ride him and we took it slow. I honestly don't remember those first few rides other than the fact that we stayed in the small arena and stuck to walking and trotting. I was expecting him to grab the bit at the trot and try to run. I was expecting to have to rewire his brain to think slow instead of fast. What I did not expect was his nice, slow trot with decently low head carriage.
I remember the day I decided to canter him. I gritted my teeth and got ready for the worst. I asked him. And asked him and asked him and asked him and we trotted quickly but there was no cantering. A slow racehorse?! Well, turns out, when you smack him in the butt (with a crop or your hand) he likes to buck. Not a lot and not big, but he does like to buck. Those first few times at the canter were interesting to say the least. No steering, no leads, no balance. It was basically a baby horse doing his best to canter with a rider on him.
Some other things we had to work through were his trips. He could not figure out where his feet were. I thought at first it was the bell boots but then quickly realized it was just me. Me being on him and trying to direct him was too much for his baby horse brain. He tried so hard to listen and do what I asked but then he would forget how to move.
We also haven't had jumps for very long so we were crafting make-shift jumps out of barrels and poles. We worked on trot poles and Xs for a long time. He did not understand what to do with two poles close together on the ground. His first jump he took off bucking afterwards because he was so excited he jumped it!
Presently we are w/t/c without too many trips. Unfortunately he is his mother's son and she (me) can't walk and chew gum at the same time. So I'm not really expecting perfection on this front. He has jumped up to 2'6" or 2'9" and is currently working on lines and oxers. He is a wiggle worm in the line and puts in about 2 extra strides just moving side to side. With extra fitness and feed the bucks haven't gone away. In fact, when you ask him to go fast he takes that as his cue to kick his feet up and get frisky. His newest habit is jerking his head down on the back side of a big jump. :/ Mom is not enthused.
I've definitely learned a lot and taught him some really strange things without meaning to. My first horse, and I didn't realize this at the time, I didn't not have to "ride" him toward and over the jumps. I didn't ever think of him as a point and shoot horse but compared to Marvel he definitely was. I have to put leg on to the base of every jump every time no exceptions. Mostly probably because he is a baby but he has a lazy personality too and will always choose the easy way out.
Somehow I've taught him that after we canter or jump we stop. Or at least he put two and two together to mean that in his head. So transitions are in our very near future. We're also working on getting him on the bit but that's a story for another day. We've got a long way to go but for really only riding him for 3 months, he's made leaps and bounds of progress. We get along so well and he's got such a good head and heart. With his splay feet I still don't know how far he will be able to go, but we will find out together. We are now enrolled in weekly lessons with the owner of the barn, Maggie, so we've got someone to put eyes on us and help us get as far as she can.
5 days after he arrived he made a trip to A&M to be gelded. He also got his feet trimmed by their farrier. Between recovery time and his short toes, I wasn't able to ride him for almost a month. Finally I was able to ride him and we took it slow. I honestly don't remember those first few rides other than the fact that we stayed in the small arena and stuck to walking and trotting. I was expecting him to grab the bit at the trot and try to run. I was expecting to have to rewire his brain to think slow instead of fast. What I did not expect was his nice, slow trot with decently low head carriage.
I remember the day I decided to canter him. I gritted my teeth and got ready for the worst. I asked him. And asked him and asked him and asked him and we trotted quickly but there was no cantering. A slow racehorse?! Well, turns out, when you smack him in the butt (with a crop or your hand) he likes to buck. Not a lot and not big, but he does like to buck. Those first few times at the canter were interesting to say the least. No steering, no leads, no balance. It was basically a baby horse doing his best to canter with a rider on him.
Some other things we had to work through were his trips. He could not figure out where his feet were. I thought at first it was the bell boots but then quickly realized it was just me. Me being on him and trying to direct him was too much for his baby horse brain. He tried so hard to listen and do what I asked but then he would forget how to move.
We also haven't had jumps for very long so we were crafting make-shift jumps out of barrels and poles. We worked on trot poles and Xs for a long time. He did not understand what to do with two poles close together on the ground. His first jump he took off bucking afterwards because he was so excited he jumped it!
Presently we are w/t/c without too many trips. Unfortunately he is his mother's son and she (me) can't walk and chew gum at the same time. So I'm not really expecting perfection on this front. He has jumped up to 2'6" or 2'9" and is currently working on lines and oxers. He is a wiggle worm in the line and puts in about 2 extra strides just moving side to side. With extra fitness and feed the bucks haven't gone away. In fact, when you ask him to go fast he takes that as his cue to kick his feet up and get frisky. His newest habit is jerking his head down on the back side of a big jump. :/ Mom is not enthused.
I've definitely learned a lot and taught him some really strange things without meaning to. My first horse, and I didn't realize this at the time, I didn't not have to "ride" him toward and over the jumps. I didn't ever think of him as a point and shoot horse but compared to Marvel he definitely was. I have to put leg on to the base of every jump every time no exceptions. Mostly probably because he is a baby but he has a lazy personality too and will always choose the easy way out.
Somehow I've taught him that after we canter or jump we stop. Or at least he put two and two together to mean that in his head. So transitions are in our very near future. We're also working on getting him on the bit but that's a story for another day. We've got a long way to go but for really only riding him for 3 months, he's made leaps and bounds of progress. We get along so well and he's got such a good head and heart. With his splay feet I still don't know how far he will be able to go, but we will find out together. We are now enrolled in weekly lessons with the owner of the barn, Maggie, so we've got someone to put eyes on us and help us get as far as she can.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
How to Sell a Horse: A Checklist For the Misguided Wannabe "Horse Person"
Ever since my friend Amanda lost her precious Belgian/TB mix Ginger, (see RIP Ginger post) we have been on a Facebook/Craigslist/Internet in general manhunt for a new horse. Ok, I have. She's playing it cool. I'm looking at horses for her, she's looking at horses for fun. Fun is a nice word to use for the jaw dropping stupidity we see on a daily basis in today's so-called horse market, especially in the Bryan/College Station and surrounding areas.
We have, without necessarily meaning to, compiled a short "Selling a Horse for Dummies" list to try and help the well-meaning but ill-knowledged horse person. It is a bulleted list as it tends to make things easier to read (and also I don't like making 2 sentence paragraphs. Thanks 4th grade writing teacher). This list is by far not comprehensive. It is targeted at the 13 year old girls selling their horses on Facebook and for the family who ended up with a horse or 4 in their backyard. Obviously competition horses are going to be differently priced but those horse people seem to know what they're talking about and don't require an idiot-proof list...
Now for the list of things that do NOT add value to your horse... If you didn't read the list above, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, for everyone reading your ad's sake, read this one.
I know this rant is probably not going to reach the Bryan/College Station area that inspired it, but it's off my chest. Someone needs to really write a "Selling Horses for Dummies" book. I'll think on that. Till then I will just scroll by the horses that are 2 year old, money winning, kid broke Arabian race horses and send the 13.2 hand, paint colored Clydesdale for $10k ads to Amanda so we can both get a good laugh.
We have, without necessarily meaning to, compiled a short "Selling a Horse for Dummies" list to try and help the well-meaning but ill-knowledged horse person. It is a bulleted list as it tends to make things easier to read (and also I don't like making 2 sentence paragraphs. Thanks 4th grade writing teacher). This list is by far not comprehensive. It is targeted at the 13 year old girls selling their horses on Facebook and for the family who ended up with a horse or 4 in their backyard. Obviously competition horses are going to be differently priced but those horse people seem to know what they're talking about and don't require an idiot-proof list...
- Your flat, baseline price should be at $0. Slaughter houses are not operational at this time in Texas so there is no minimum price for horse meat (meaning you can't say that if this horse doesn't sell, the slaughter house will at least give you X amount of dollars).
- Is your horse a REGISTERED breed other than Quarter Horse, Paint, Arabian, or Thoroughbred? Those breeds, even registered, are a dime a dozen. So let's say you've got a REGISTERED Hannoverian, Knabstrupper, Holsteiner, KWPN, Selle Francais, or something of that nature. Add $600 for pure rarity, breeding, and registration fees. If your horse isn't registered, go look into that. If it can't be registered, add $0 and so far you've got a horse worth $0.
- What does your horse know? Has it just been weaned but has been messed with quite a bit as a youngster (and also, see above rant for this to qualify)? Add $200. Is it a 2-5 year old and green broke with the skill to stop, start, steer, and transition between all three gaits? Add about $400. Give or take some depending on the level of knowledge and training the horse has. Is your horse trained to do a specific job and to do that job well and consistently? This is a hard price range to define. Grand Prix show jumpers and dressage horses have gone for millions (this also factors into account breeding, potential offspring, and several other factors but still, a job is important)? For the sake of discussion we're going to assume you have a horse trained to do schooling shows (and has competed and done well). Add around $2,500. I am talking a horse that I could jump on and, with a little get to know you time, I could take this horse to a show and do well on it within 6 months.
- Is your horse currently in foal? To a well respected stud? Do both the mother and father have papers that you can hand directly to a buyer when they hand you the money? Add $500.
- Can your horse legitimately and safely carry a child/beginner around? Before you answer that question, I mean with a saddle, bridle, and no leadrope attached to an adult that the horse is scared to death of. "Kid Broke" seems to mean to most people that they used their 6 yr old daughter as a guinea pig once when they were out in the pasture and found out that their 1 year old horse doesn't buck when a 20 pound child sits on it screaming. If it's this kind of broke add absolutely nothing. $0. What it should mean is that if my lesson student yanks on the reins and kicks the horse in the side at the same time, your horse will read between the lines and trot slowly forward. It should mean that if they lose their balance, the horse will stop, not run. It should mean that leaves, dogs, cats, lunge whips, screaming moms, water bottles, and a calf will not phase this horse in the least. IF this is your horse, add $1000. $1500 if that same horse is suitable for an advanced rider and won't bore them out of their mind.
Now for the list of things that do NOT add value to your horse... If you didn't read the list above, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, for everyone reading your ad's sake, read this one.
- Color doesn't matter. I don't care if your pony mare is paint and all of her splotches are in the perfect shape of a star. I don't care if you invented a new zebra stripe color or if your horse is completely pink. I mean I don't want a chestnut horse, but if I find one that will do the job in my price range, the fact that it's chestnut will not deter me from trying it out. Let me say this again, color doesn't matter. And neither do markings for that matter.
- Photoshopped ads do not up the value of your horse. Don't pay someone to make one. If you can do it, have fun. If someone tells you they can get you an extra $500 for your horse it's probably because they're better at writing ads than you, not because they can do a drop shadow around the outside of your photo.
- It seems like common sense, but if you can't spell or don't know a lot about horses, don't write the ad. You may not ever sell your horse if you spell lunge "lounge" and if you have a 15.8 hand horse. If your horse has "no bade habbits" and "trots real good" please let your kid proof read your ad. They're probably a lot closer to the part of school where they learn vocabulary and grammar than you are. Some helpful hints: your 2 year old horse is not "broke broke", hands are measured in 4 inch intervals (15, 15.1, 15.2, 15.3, then 16), and a picture of your screaming child sitting atop a horse, bareback with you holding the horse by the halter does not prove to anybody that your horse is kid safe. It does leave us with some questions about your parenting styles though.
- Some exotic mix of horse breeds does not make your horse worth more money. Stop trying to make the "sporthorse" work. Basically, the horse is lucky it came out with straight legs and semi well put together. But I dare you to breed its parents together again. The well proportioned horse that stands in front of you is pure luck. The next baby will have a retardedly short neck, long legs, a short back, and a draft horse head. Breeds have been developed through years and years of careful research. Just because you have a pretty stallion with a long mane and tail and a mare that you have to have a baby out of because she took you through pony club does not mean they should hook up. In fact, it never ever means that.
- On the same note, a draft horse is not instantly worth an extra grand. Ever. Please see first bullet point WAAAAAAAYYYYY up at the top. There are no slaughter houses. The only way your horse is worth more than a regular horse is if you get paid per pound. That isn't an option right now so get down off of both your literal and proverbial high horse and realize that all you have is a horse that eats twice as much and requires special tack, trailer, and living quarters.
- A poorly made video may actually make people run screaming from your horse. Make sure your horse knows what your ad says it knows. Make sure the rider in the video has a solid leg and seat and can make the horse do everything it can do. Make sure the ring your riding in sends the best message to potential buyers (don't advertise a grand prix jumper and then be riding in a field with holes and tiny Xs).
- The last, and final one, that no one seems to understand no matter what is that LOVE DOESN'T MAKE THE HORSE'S VALUE GO UP! Love doesn't make your grade bay filly worth $1500. Love doesn't make your chestnut TB gelding who knows how to w/t/c worth $4k. Love doesn't make your 24 year old seasoned but retired barrel racer worth $15k if they aren't useable (but it does make you a complete tool for selling it). Please be able to look at your horse objectively. And if you can't, realize that and have someone else do it for you. Honestly, think how it looks to a buyer: "For sale, 4 year old Morgan/Percheron mare. Green broke. Not quite cantering. Still working on steering. $4500." Come on guys.
I know this rant is probably not going to reach the Bryan/College Station area that inspired it, but it's off my chest. Someone needs to really write a "Selling Horses for Dummies" book. I'll think on that. Till then I will just scroll by the horses that are 2 year old, money winning, kid broke Arabian race horses and send the 13.2 hand, paint colored Clydesdale for $10k ads to Amanda so we can both get a good laugh.
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