Christmas is right around the corner. Now you are on your toes and your ears are pricked to find Christmas gifts the fam will love. Well, if you are reading this post I'm guessing that either you, or someone in your immediate family is very interested in a four-legged companion of the equine variety. Many children receive their first horse as a well intended Christmas gift. Besides being overly and excruciatingly jealous, and whether or not your first horse comes at Christmas or on June 6th (an ambiguous day of the year I hope), I have some pointers for you that will hopefully help you through this exciting and financially draining time in your life.
The biggest problem with Christmas horses is that mom and dad (or boyfriend or husband) are doing the looking while rider is sitting at home sulking due to lack of horse. While intentions are totally awesome, this is NOT a good way to find someone a horse. Most people don't realize that a horse and rider have to get along much like spouses. They will have their bad days, they will end a ride not on speaking terms, they will make mistakes, but they will also have amazing good days. You need to find a horse to match the rider so that their bad days are few and far between. It is really best if the prospective horse owner can ride the horse themselves at least one time. A good rider can adapt to and ride pretty much any horse well enough. A great rider knows when it's not a good match and passes along the horse to someone better suited for them.
So this topic leads me right in to buying the horse. Let's say, for posterity's sake, that this is not a Christmas horse, or it is and the rider knows. This is your first horse and while you may ride Tonto REALLY well (I mean come on, everyone says you do, even your trainer), you need to be realistic about your abilities and the horse that you need. You'd be surprised how old Tonto is (What, 25?!), how many miles that age comes with (ridden 4-6 times a week for 10 years), and how forgiving Tonto is of your mistakes ("I know, I know, you kicked me with your right foot but you really want me to slow down and turn right. It's ok. I've got you."). What I'm saying is, use a trainer. Always. Reading between the lines of a Craig's List add is beyond confusing and you simply don't know the right questions to ask at this point. A horse trader will smell you coming from the instant you start dialing their phone number and you'll come home with a two legged 55 year old horse being convinced that it once competed in the Olympics.
A trainer will know to ask the right questions. When you see an ad for a "Well broke, 2 year old, OTTB. Rides Western and English. Owned for 6 months. Good feet. Kid broke," can you spot the glaring questions that need to be asked? For starters, OTTB means off the track Thoroughbred. Horses begin racing at 2 or 3. After a horse is done racing he has a 6-8 month "let down period" to cool off from the craziness of track life. So the question I'd start with is, how has this horse raced AND had the time to be well broke? The next thing is that Thoroughbreds are widely known to not be easy keepers. So this means food and feet. What does good feet mean to this person? Then there are other things that weren't mentioned. What does this horse eat? Will you ride it for me before I get on (if they say no, don't ride it)? Where do you keep it? Is it good with other horses? What are its past injuries? The list goes on. Did you think of those questions? Most reputable people won't let a beginner come try their horse without a trainer.
I know first time horse owner doesn't always correspond to beginner rider. But in a vast number of cases that's exactly what it means. I am about to break your heart. Very rarely does it work out that you, as a green rider, obtain a green horse, and learn the ways of the horse world together. If it does work out, awesome. Good for you. But that's a huge risk to be taking. Let's say you opt for the $300 green horse over the $2000 broke horse the trainer suggested. You simply don't have the experience to improve this horse's skills in any way. So when you decide this horse is running all over you and is not a good match you've already spent a few months of board, already probably hit the ground a few times, hopefully haven't had too many medical bills, and already gotten attached to the horse. Not to mention the fact that now the horse has developed bad habits that someone else has to deal with. You'll be lucky to get out from under this horse for $100. And now you're out money, emotions, and a horse to boot. If your trainer likes a horse and it is within your price range, listen. You may see a lot of ads for $100-$600 horses but they come with a lot of baggage. Baggage that you really aren't capable of dealing with right off the bat. Spend the money and ENJOY your horse. The worst thing in the world is to see a person scared of their own horse.
Age matters. Color doesn't. Breed kind of does. Again, assuming the beginner nature of the rider, don't buy a 2 year old. And very rarely would I recommend buying anything younger than a 9 year old. Let me tell you right now, there are horses competing at the top levels at 17 and 18 years old. You probably aren't headed there on this horse. 9, 10, 15 are great ages. The horse has calmed down. He realizes that life isn't full of scary surprises around every corner. He's got more miles on him and more experience. Don't get caught up on the fact that he doesn't have the socks you wanted or he's not a paint. If this horse is a good match for you, save your dreams for horse number 2. There are some breeds that are predisposed to a better attitude. The Quarter Horse and Paint are a great first horse choice. In general they are more level headed and prepared to deal with a lot more crap from all sides. Stay away from Arabians and Thoroughbreds, they want to go fast and they are looking for any reason. Any reason at all. Yeah, that lady getting out of her car that you can barely see with the pony tail blowing in the wind is a great reason to run.
Please, at the very least, board your horse at a stable where you can enlist help. Do you know what it takes to feed a horse? Do you know what kissing spine is? How often should a horse get their coggins? What is forage and how does it play into a horse's diet? How do you clean a saddle? Did you know that water buckets need to be cleaned out about once a week (more if it's hot)? Do you have a vet you could call right now if your horse is injured? How do you deal with colic? There are so many things that you just don't know and wouldn't think to learn before it occurs and it's too late. Boarders will be helpful when you need them. The stable owner has a lot of experience. Don't underestimate that. These people will help you see things you might not pay attention to, like the fact that your horse is becoming the dominant one in the relationship or that you need to warm up before you gallop around the arena. Be willing to listen kindly and attentively to advice and don't make enemies. You never know who will be around when you need them the most.
Do you know how much this horse is going to cost? Board, feed, shoes, vet, tack, supplies, emergencies, wants, needs? What is it per month? Ok, now you've go that number at this barn. What happens if you're relocated? What are shipping fees? Are you going to take the horse or sell it and buy a new one? What does board average in different parts of the United States?
Basically, enlist help in your novice adventure. So many horse people are willing to help you and even more are willing to make a quick buck and sell you a horse on death's doorstep. They will try to convince you that your 8 year old and this one year old horse can grow old together. They're worse than used car salesmen and in this case, there's no "horsefax" to tell you the past about this horse. The people at your stable are the ones to turn to so that you get the experience you were looking for with your new best friend.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Miley Cyrus and Horses; Relatable?
Hello, and welcome to this edition of 14 hands, where we discuss such popular issues as twerking and other controversial dance moves. I'm only kind of joking and the part I'm joking about is the other dance moves because I don't know any of them. I'm also joking about Miley. The only word I hate saying more than "twerking" is "Miley Cyrus." We won't be discussing her.
Let's dive right in! So Sunday was a day full of putting my instructor pants on and helping one of my students who recently fell off remember why it is she doesn't want to quit horse back riding. While this topic could be it's own post (and probably will be shortly), I did need to mention it. I wasn't teaching so much as I was getting her on a horse and ignoring the elephant in the room that was her and her mother's fear. In this case, the elephant does, in fact, disappear if it is ignored long enough. We were very successful. I was riding Marvel while she was riding one of our tried and true and basically retired school horses.
Before you ask me where the inappropriate dance moves begin, after starting off with a story of a poor helpless girl who fell off her pony, let me help you. My student is a beginner. A can't keep her heels down or her horse at a consistent pace beginner. I don't know why I thought I could trot off into the sunset (I know, I dream a lot about riding horses in different ways off into a lot of sunsets) and have her follow me around but that was how it was going in my head when I offered for her to come ride.
Backing up so this story makes even MORE sense: on Friday I had worked an extremely long time with Marvel on "long and low." The concept of this phrase is that you ask the horse to relax, stretch his neck down searching for contact with your hands and extend his gate, propelling himself from behind. This helps the horse develop muscles it otherwise would not develop, use himself more efficiently, and also carry himself in a frame that is pleasing to the eye no matter if your a schooled horse person or a homeless man under a bridge who's never seen a horse. I had never had a whole ride dedicated to this work but I did Friday and it was extremely fulfilling. Marvel picked it right up and felt very nice.
So back to my student and I, not trotting off into the sunset as planned. I was planning on working on long and low again with Marvel on Sunday while she was working on confidence. We walked around and Marvel was in a fantastic little self-carriage frame without me asking him anything. Inside I was quite pleased because at this time we were warming up and I hadn't found out yet that my ride was not going to go according to plan.
We made a few circles, I was explaining to my student what it is that I was working on and asked her if she could identify when Marvel's head was up or down. Then I told her we were going to trot. She nodded and off I went. Without her. Woops. I thought she was following but this trot Marvel was giving me was elating. Very "come from behind." It was like we worked on long and low and then I gave him two days and some food and grass to think about it and he really got jolly about the whole idea. I was even more impressed because this was after only about 3-5 minutes of walking with no other warm up, coming straight out of his stall. Gotta love the limber and frisky 5 year olds.
Lucky for me I brought Jesse who screams every time I go faster than a walk. She slapped me back to reality, reminding me that her parents are there watching me leave their frightened little daughter in the dust of my now Grand Prix dressage horse. If we're being honest with each other, she wasn't really that scared, but still, they didn't come to watch me side pass and passage (which is good because we can't do those things). I trotted back over to my little girl and slowed down, coaching her on how to convince Harley, who somehow knew this was Sunday afternoon and she shouldn't be under saddle, to trot. It ended up working out so that she was kicking Harley and I timed it so that after a good hard kick, Marvel would trot up right behind her and convince Harley that trotting isn't half bad. Of course this, coming from a spunky young boy who eats 15 pounds of food a day, is decently muscled, and doesn't always get Sundays off. Oh, and also just figured out how fun it is to trot properly.
Without boring you with any more details of bad ponies and lots of walking, I do have to say that every time I asked Marvel to trot, whether it was on a loose rein or with contact, he almost always offered me a form of long and low. His head stayed down-ish, his trot was never heavy, and he also didn't trip now that I think about it. Realization struck me then. We need to do more working trot exercises. And thus we've come full circle. Twerking, or as I prefer to spell it, tworking. Derived from what I can only assume are English words: working trot. Definition; to literally have a specific ride dedicated to working at the trot, regardless of pace, on proper muscle building of the horse and rider, developing suppleness in the reins, and having seamless communication.
The tworking possibilities are endless. Long and low, driving with your seat and legs, not losing our shoulder, sitting trot, posting trot, serpentines, circles, loose rein, contact, engaging the hind end, transitions. The list goes on. As I believe I've already stated, my philosophy is that if you can't do something at a slower pace, you're a complete silly head (not sure that's a politically correct term but it is definitely nicer than the first few words that came to mind) to try that same thing at a faster pace. I have also come to believe that the trot is a pace at which you can work miracles and give the horse a fantastic foundation for anything he is going to do with you in the future.
Hopefully I've inspired some tworking in my horsey friend's near futures. Or at least hopefully no one thinks I'm a crazed MC fan who is trying to relate her to horses. One way or the other, I'm headed to the barn this afternoon to twork with Panda and Cash!
Let's dive right in! So Sunday was a day full of putting my instructor pants on and helping one of my students who recently fell off remember why it is she doesn't want to quit horse back riding. While this topic could be it's own post (and probably will be shortly), I did need to mention it. I wasn't teaching so much as I was getting her on a horse and ignoring the elephant in the room that was her and her mother's fear. In this case, the elephant does, in fact, disappear if it is ignored long enough. We were very successful. I was riding Marvel while she was riding one of our tried and true and basically retired school horses.
Before you ask me where the inappropriate dance moves begin, after starting off with a story of a poor helpless girl who fell off her pony, let me help you. My student is a beginner. A can't keep her heels down or her horse at a consistent pace beginner. I don't know why I thought I could trot off into the sunset (I know, I dream a lot about riding horses in different ways off into a lot of sunsets) and have her follow me around but that was how it was going in my head when I offered for her to come ride.
Backing up so this story makes even MORE sense: on Friday I had worked an extremely long time with Marvel on "long and low." The concept of this phrase is that you ask the horse to relax, stretch his neck down searching for contact with your hands and extend his gate, propelling himself from behind. This helps the horse develop muscles it otherwise would not develop, use himself more efficiently, and also carry himself in a frame that is pleasing to the eye no matter if your a schooled horse person or a homeless man under a bridge who's never seen a horse. I had never had a whole ride dedicated to this work but I did Friday and it was extremely fulfilling. Marvel picked it right up and felt very nice.
So back to my student and I, not trotting off into the sunset as planned. I was planning on working on long and low again with Marvel on Sunday while she was working on confidence. We walked around and Marvel was in a fantastic little self-carriage frame without me asking him anything. Inside I was quite pleased because at this time we were warming up and I hadn't found out yet that my ride was not going to go according to plan.
We made a few circles, I was explaining to my student what it is that I was working on and asked her if she could identify when Marvel's head was up or down. Then I told her we were going to trot. She nodded and off I went. Without her. Woops. I thought she was following but this trot Marvel was giving me was elating. Very "come from behind." It was like we worked on long and low and then I gave him two days and some food and grass to think about it and he really got jolly about the whole idea. I was even more impressed because this was after only about 3-5 minutes of walking with no other warm up, coming straight out of his stall. Gotta love the limber and frisky 5 year olds.
Lucky for me I brought Jesse who screams every time I go faster than a walk. She slapped me back to reality, reminding me that her parents are there watching me leave their frightened little daughter in the dust of my now Grand Prix dressage horse. If we're being honest with each other, she wasn't really that scared, but still, they didn't come to watch me side pass and passage (which is good because we can't do those things). I trotted back over to my little girl and slowed down, coaching her on how to convince Harley, who somehow knew this was Sunday afternoon and she shouldn't be under saddle, to trot. It ended up working out so that she was kicking Harley and I timed it so that after a good hard kick, Marvel would trot up right behind her and convince Harley that trotting isn't half bad. Of course this, coming from a spunky young boy who eats 15 pounds of food a day, is decently muscled, and doesn't always get Sundays off. Oh, and also just figured out how fun it is to trot properly.
Without boring you with any more details of bad ponies and lots of walking, I do have to say that every time I asked Marvel to trot, whether it was on a loose rein or with contact, he almost always offered me a form of long and low. His head stayed down-ish, his trot was never heavy, and he also didn't trip now that I think about it. Realization struck me then. We need to do more working trot exercises. And thus we've come full circle. Twerking, or as I prefer to spell it, tworking. Derived from what I can only assume are English words: working trot. Definition; to literally have a specific ride dedicated to working at the trot, regardless of pace, on proper muscle building of the horse and rider, developing suppleness in the reins, and having seamless communication.
The tworking possibilities are endless. Long and low, driving with your seat and legs, not losing our shoulder, sitting trot, posting trot, serpentines, circles, loose rein, contact, engaging the hind end, transitions. The list goes on. As I believe I've already stated, my philosophy is that if you can't do something at a slower pace, you're a complete silly head (not sure that's a politically correct term but it is definitely nicer than the first few words that came to mind) to try that same thing at a faster pace. I have also come to believe that the trot is a pace at which you can work miracles and give the horse a fantastic foundation for anything he is going to do with you in the future.
Hopefully I've inspired some tworking in my horsey friend's near futures. Or at least hopefully no one thinks I'm a crazed MC fan who is trying to relate her to horses. One way or the other, I'm headed to the barn this afternoon to twork with Panda and Cash!
Friday, November 15, 2013
I'd Like to Thank the Academy; Remembering the Reason For the Season!
Well, it's November now. Not like, almost November, or just barely November, it's like, soon my rent and board are due for December November. I've been so busy blowing the dust off my winter clothes and overzealously decorating the house that I've forgotten about all the things I have to be thankful for! With horses in our lives, there are an endless number of things to be thankful for so I thought I'd share my list with you and see if I can help you remember the things we have all been blessed with.
1. I am thankful for my job(s) and that there are just enough hours to work in a week so that I can still barely afford to live but can leave a lot of time to ride! I may be staring pathetically at the holes in my beautiful Ariat paddock boots, but I shove an extra pair of socks on and trudge happily to the barn hoping I find new ones under the tree in a month.
2. I am thankful for my non-horsey boyfriend who doesn't realize how many bridles I already own and takes my word for it when I say I need to buy another one.
3. I am thankful for everyone who's ever told me to put my heels down ever in my whole life. I thought I was never going to hear the end of it. And I was right. Now it's coming out of my own mouth and directed toward my own students.
4. I am thankful for every last barn owner/manager that I have ever come into contact with. I learned who to be and who not to be, that being polite but firm and honest is the only way to run a barn, and that there are a lot of amenities people (including myself) are willing to pay for (if they have the money).
5. I am thankful for people who clean stalls. Oh my goodness. Come clean mine. I can only pay you in smiles and the occasional dozen cookies I had a moment to bake but I know the joy of cleaning the stalls is reward enough in itself. Or so that's what I've been trying to convince myself.
6. I am thankful for the lunge line. Who knew a 30' cotton line could keep so many riders from falling off their winter fresh horses? I've been the proud witness of so many bucks that I would not want to ride. Thanks lunge line!
7. I am thankful for the OTTB. Although there are many breeds around the world, the versatility of the OTTB is hard to beat. I may be slightly partial, but who wouldn't be! Unfortunately I'm not the only one to have caught on to their magical abilities so I am not thankful for the OTTB fad that has driven up the price of the OTTB.
8. I am thankful for YouTube. While it is no substitute for a real live person watching you ride and yelling instant feedback at you, it does offer some pretty good ideas for fixing problems or making workouts. And let's face it, some days you just can't do anything right. Better to be riding the couch instead of your horse and stuff a few Oreos down your throat while taking notes.
9. I am thankful for sand arenas. Right now we don't have them so one full day of rain is equal to 2-3 full days of no riding due to mud. Also, I seem to have the only tender footed horse that doesn't understand how walking works. So when mud dries into the semi-concrete mix that it always tends to form, Marvel trips every three strides and seems stunned every single time that his hoof hit something.
10. I am thankful for cameras. Heaven knows I can't recreate the clean Cash was before he went out and rolled in the mud or the form I had over that huge oxer. BUT I can go back and look at the moment it happened!
There are so many reasons to be thankful. I've got tons more but these were what first came to mind. Remember that we are often told to make the holiday season about things that we want. In reality it's focus should be on the things we already have. Stay thankful and go visit your ponies!
1. I am thankful for my job(s) and that there are just enough hours to work in a week so that I can still barely afford to live but can leave a lot of time to ride! I may be staring pathetically at the holes in my beautiful Ariat paddock boots, but I shove an extra pair of socks on and trudge happily to the barn hoping I find new ones under the tree in a month.
2. I am thankful for my non-horsey boyfriend who doesn't realize how many bridles I already own and takes my word for it when I say I need to buy another one.
3. I am thankful for everyone who's ever told me to put my heels down ever in my whole life. I thought I was never going to hear the end of it. And I was right. Now it's coming out of my own mouth and directed toward my own students.
4. I am thankful for every last barn owner/manager that I have ever come into contact with. I learned who to be and who not to be, that being polite but firm and honest is the only way to run a barn, and that there are a lot of amenities people (including myself) are willing to pay for (if they have the money).
5. I am thankful for people who clean stalls. Oh my goodness. Come clean mine. I can only pay you in smiles and the occasional dozen cookies I had a moment to bake but I know the joy of cleaning the stalls is reward enough in itself. Or so that's what I've been trying to convince myself.
6. I am thankful for the lunge line. Who knew a 30' cotton line could keep so many riders from falling off their winter fresh horses? I've been the proud witness of so many bucks that I would not want to ride. Thanks lunge line!
7. I am thankful for the OTTB. Although there are many breeds around the world, the versatility of the OTTB is hard to beat. I may be slightly partial, but who wouldn't be! Unfortunately I'm not the only one to have caught on to their magical abilities so I am not thankful for the OTTB fad that has driven up the price of the OTTB.
8. I am thankful for YouTube. While it is no substitute for a real live person watching you ride and yelling instant feedback at you, it does offer some pretty good ideas for fixing problems or making workouts. And let's face it, some days you just can't do anything right. Better to be riding the couch instead of your horse and stuff a few Oreos down your throat while taking notes.
9. I am thankful for sand arenas. Right now we don't have them so one full day of rain is equal to 2-3 full days of no riding due to mud. Also, I seem to have the only tender footed horse that doesn't understand how walking works. So when mud dries into the semi-concrete mix that it always tends to form, Marvel trips every three strides and seems stunned every single time that his hoof hit something.
10. I am thankful for cameras. Heaven knows I can't recreate the clean Cash was before he went out and rolled in the mud or the form I had over that huge oxer. BUT I can go back and look at the moment it happened!
There are so many reasons to be thankful. I've got tons more but these were what first came to mind. Remember that we are often told to make the holiday season about things that we want. In reality it's focus should be on the things we already have. Stay thankful and go visit your ponies!
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Gasping For Air
Long time no post. I know I know. If you've heard one excuse you've heard them all but mine nowadays is that I hardly have time to breathe let alone post. Or make halfway decent grades, or sleep, or take showers on a regular basis. I wish I were exaggerating. I may be in over my head, but that is not an admission. I have decided to go about figuring out how busy is too busy.
I find myself forgetting things, needing to make excessively long lists that are overly repetitive, and getting easily frustrated and flustered when things don't go according to plan. I'm becoming like my mom who tells the same story three times because I've lost so much track of my day I don't even remember when the last time I saw you was. Early onset Alzheimer's or a case of toobusyitis? I'm not about to go to the doctor for them to stick me in a nut house (those don't have horses or dogs so you see my dilemma).
Something MIGHT have to give but before we start talking about dropping something and how many flavors of Ramen do they make and is it enough to get you through a month I thought a little analysis was in order.
I work. I know, "Yay! Congratulations me!" But seriously, I do that money making thing. While food stamps and free ObamaPhones with a black market doctor (yeah that's right, this post just got political) sound SUPER enticing I'm not sure Dover or State Line Tack accept food stamps as a form of payment and if they did, I'm not sure how many food "stamps" I'd have to save up to buy that cross country saddle I have my eye on. Also, I KNOW the whole governmental health care thing did not account for people who put themselves at risk daily by riding spooky ponies in now pitch black arenas. I'd be the first person they would decide not to cover; not that my three part time jobs offer me any sort of healthcare anyway now that we're mentioning it. They do, however, pay the bills which is crucial to this thing called living. Can't really cut those job things...
So there's always school, right?! Except that I love school. I want to be in school. To get the job I want (before owning my own barn and business) I need to stay in school. I have three classes before I graduate with my associates in Criminal Justice. Oh yeah, and the number one motivating factor: it keeps me from paying back my loans. Believe me, paying for a semester at Blinn SUCKS, but it is less sucky than watching your rent payment get taken out of your bank account, and then watching your loans follow shortly after in an amount as much or more than your rent. Remind me, this school thing, it was a good idea right? Cause right now, after having about 15 different jobs throughout my life, I haven't really seen the benefits play out like they told me they would. School will be over in May but then what? Anyway, it's too late to drop out now!
In case we've lost count thus far, I've only written 2 paragraphs about my extra and not so extra curricular activities. I would like to point out, for the record and for those that don't have enough fingers to count on, that 3 jobs plus 4 classes is more than 2 things to keep me busy.
Then there are the animals. If I haven't made it very clear, they are important to me. Without the dogs I might have more time, yell less, scare less neighbors, wear more black shirts, buy less lint rollers, clean up less pee and vomit, sweep less, and pick less hair out of my morning cereal (ok, that one might be an exaggeration) but I wouldn't be as happy. They keep me humble, teach me patience, love me unconditionally, and definitely cover me in hair, which I have yet to discover where the positive lies in that. Without the horses I would spend less money (this is debatable, just look at my closet and clothes bill before the horses. It's really unfortunately comparable), eat less dirt, be less sore, and probably weigh an extra ten pounds. But without them I'd sit at home and yell more often at the dogs for covering me in hair! It all evens out.
On top of these huge time eaters there are friends, boyfriend, dreams, goals, aspirations, errands, plans, cleaning, cooking, more dreaming, and then the occasional night of rest here and there. It's exhausting just thinking about it. Yet I'm still the person who has 30 minutes on the couch and wonders what I forgot and how many of the calories from the granola bar I'm eating are going straight to my hindquarters.
So far I've succeeded only in completely wasting your time for reading this post, my time for writing it, and the internet's vast and expansive storage space. What I'd like to hammer home is that we're all busy. My mom once tried to teach me about priorities and keeping your word and that must've sunk in a little bit because everything I've committed to, I'm doing. Soon I will get a break and I'll be just as stressed out as I am right now but instead of because I have no time, it'll be because I have too much time and not enough things to fill it with. I'm that girl. Ms "Grass is Always Greener." I just gotta take a page out of the animal's book and live in the moment. They don't care about anything but what's going on right now. While that may end up being a dangerous way to live your whole life, there's a delicate and necessary balance between planning and enjoying the time you've got now. I tend to waste the present time worrying and planning the next few hours. You can't get the present time back and you may never make it to the future so find a way to enjoy what you're given. And if someone could remind me of that every 3 minutes that would be great too!
I find myself forgetting things, needing to make excessively long lists that are overly repetitive, and getting easily frustrated and flustered when things don't go according to plan. I'm becoming like my mom who tells the same story three times because I've lost so much track of my day I don't even remember when the last time I saw you was. Early onset Alzheimer's or a case of toobusyitis? I'm not about to go to the doctor for them to stick me in a nut house (those don't have horses or dogs so you see my dilemma).
Something MIGHT have to give but before we start talking about dropping something and how many flavors of Ramen do they make and is it enough to get you through a month I thought a little analysis was in order.
I work. I know, "Yay! Congratulations me!" But seriously, I do that money making thing. While food stamps and free ObamaPhones with a black market doctor (yeah that's right, this post just got political) sound SUPER enticing I'm not sure Dover or State Line Tack accept food stamps as a form of payment and if they did, I'm not sure how many food "stamps" I'd have to save up to buy that cross country saddle I have my eye on. Also, I KNOW the whole governmental health care thing did not account for people who put themselves at risk daily by riding spooky ponies in now pitch black arenas. I'd be the first person they would decide not to cover; not that my three part time jobs offer me any sort of healthcare anyway now that we're mentioning it. They do, however, pay the bills which is crucial to this thing called living. Can't really cut those job things...
So there's always school, right?! Except that I love school. I want to be in school. To get the job I want (before owning my own barn and business) I need to stay in school. I have three classes before I graduate with my associates in Criminal Justice. Oh yeah, and the number one motivating factor: it keeps me from paying back my loans. Believe me, paying for a semester at Blinn SUCKS, but it is less sucky than watching your rent payment get taken out of your bank account, and then watching your loans follow shortly after in an amount as much or more than your rent. Remind me, this school thing, it was a good idea right? Cause right now, after having about 15 different jobs throughout my life, I haven't really seen the benefits play out like they told me they would. School will be over in May but then what? Anyway, it's too late to drop out now!
In case we've lost count thus far, I've only written 2 paragraphs about my extra and not so extra curricular activities. I would like to point out, for the record and for those that don't have enough fingers to count on, that 3 jobs plus 4 classes is more than 2 things to keep me busy.
Then there are the animals. If I haven't made it very clear, they are important to me. Without the dogs I might have more time, yell less, scare less neighbors, wear more black shirts, buy less lint rollers, clean up less pee and vomit, sweep less, and pick less hair out of my morning cereal (ok, that one might be an exaggeration) but I wouldn't be as happy. They keep me humble, teach me patience, love me unconditionally, and definitely cover me in hair, which I have yet to discover where the positive lies in that. Without the horses I would spend less money (this is debatable, just look at my closet and clothes bill before the horses. It's really unfortunately comparable), eat less dirt, be less sore, and probably weigh an extra ten pounds. But without them I'd sit at home and yell more often at the dogs for covering me in hair! It all evens out.
On top of these huge time eaters there are friends, boyfriend, dreams, goals, aspirations, errands, plans, cleaning, cooking, more dreaming, and then the occasional night of rest here and there. It's exhausting just thinking about it. Yet I'm still the person who has 30 minutes on the couch and wonders what I forgot and how many of the calories from the granola bar I'm eating are going straight to my hindquarters.
So far I've succeeded only in completely wasting your time for reading this post, my time for writing it, and the internet's vast and expansive storage space. What I'd like to hammer home is that we're all busy. My mom once tried to teach me about priorities and keeping your word and that must've sunk in a little bit because everything I've committed to, I'm doing. Soon I will get a break and I'll be just as stressed out as I am right now but instead of because I have no time, it'll be because I have too much time and not enough things to fill it with. I'm that girl. Ms "Grass is Always Greener." I just gotta take a page out of the animal's book and live in the moment. They don't care about anything but what's going on right now. While that may end up being a dangerous way to live your whole life, there's a delicate and necessary balance between planning and enjoying the time you've got now. I tend to waste the present time worrying and planning the next few hours. You can't get the present time back and you may never make it to the future so find a way to enjoy what you're given. And if someone could remind me of that every 3 minutes that would be great too!
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
A Horse is a Horse Of Course... I'm Not Sure
This has been a blog post a long time in the making. For the past few months, ok, let's be real; for my whole life as a mommy of animal children, I have felt completely inadequate. The guilt trips I take myself on would make people on a 14 day cruise around Jamaica and the Bahamas jealous. They can never have enough stuff, or the right stuff, or good enough stuff. You can only imagine how that fuels my fire to work three jobs.
In general, as a person, I am not "stuff" oriented. I have never had anything handed to me and I've always worked for the things I've wanted. Before this round of horses I spent my days running with my dogs, watching Sponge Bob and playing a LOT of spider solitaire (I'm serious, late nights of difficult emotional struggles with that game). I was happy with the minimal apartment I shared with my two big dogs. They had everything they needed and far too many things they wanted while I lived off a slow running computer and ramen. At this point in my life I was guilt tripping myself about the time I wasn't spending with the dogs. As you can imagine, I got over that pretty quick when the hooved animals bashed their way into my life again.
While I am here to tell anyone that any animal requires a lot of time and money, I am also here to tell you that what dogs require and what horses require are from two totally different planets. I thought the list of things I wanted for the dogs was extensive and then, all of a sudden, I had a list of stuff I want for the horses and it is literally like comparing a magazine to a dictionary in both quantity and quality. A magazine has cheap fad content with a lot of gaudy and unnecessary pictures while a dictionary is rich in language and text. There are only so many collars and leashes you can buy for your canine companions. Even if you're showing them, your equipment is minimal compared to a horse.
This afternoon we were introducing a family who is thinking about buying their daughter her first horse to the needs vs wants world of horses. In all honesty, the needs are not as extensive as a non horse person might think. At the minimum it's feed, water, shelter, hay, buckets, halter, lead rope, farrier, vet. Some of these are one time buys and some of them are reoccurring expenses but they are not, or don't have to be, the thousands of dollar a month hobby that some people make it out to be.
Then we started showing them tack. And brushes. And gels. And lotions. And glitter. Ok, maybe not glitter. But we got down and showed them the darker side of horses. The "wants" side of horses. The bottomless pit, the endless abyss, the labyrinth of nonsensical items on which you can spend your hard earned cash. Apparently during this part of the speech I was extremely vocal because I was told I was the "wants" girl.
Like I said, I don't think of myself as a stuff person. But I do want the very absolute best for my animals. Maybe this does, in fact, make me a stuff person but surely my intent counts for something right? I can't have my boys walking around without blankets and halters and leads and saddles and bridles and saddle pads that are not as good as someone elses! They'll be devastated! I want them to be comfortable and happy. I want their needs fulfilled and their wants too! My dictionary thick list of stuff is all for their benefit. They want it! Right? RIGHT?! Guilt trip initiated about how I'm a bad mom, the horses aren't happy, life will not go on, etc, etc.
Excuse the dramatic turn, but my friend posted a quote on Facebook yesterday that made me realize it was time to write this post. I'm not sure if it's his or he borrowed it from someone else so I will copy it as his:
"The best feeling in the world is realizing that you’re perfectly happy without the thing you
thought you needed the most" - Jay Blanton
While I both agree and disagree with this statement, it made me think really hard. I think that wants are placed in our lives to show us our direction. I think there are things that are reasonable to want because we were all programmed with different passions and desires and also with different life outcomes. I also believe that a vast majority of us have been inundated with media and fads. We are told what we want and don't want and, for the most part, we accept those things to be fact. Children no longer want to be astronauts and scientists when they grow up, they want to be Tyra Banks and "that guy from Mortal Combat."
This is not a post about how to raise children or how our world is on a downward spiral to food stamps and government aid, it's about wants! My most recent guilt trip has changed focus from what I can't provide for my animals to what is appropriate to want and not want.
A horse is a horse. That's all. Whether you paid $1000 for your OTTB or $1,000,000 for your KWPN 4'6" jumper, they are both horses. At the end of the day they all poop in their water buckets and want nothing more than to eat grass in a pasture till their dying day. Whether you have them in a plain $30 hunter bridle or a $500 bridle with a flash nose band, they both spook at things they've never seen and throw shoes just to spite you. If you keep them in your backyard or at a $1000/month boarding facility they'll both still roll in the mud when given the chance and snag their brand new Weather Beeta blanket on that piece of fence you've fixed 10 times.
There are definitely times and places where horses are not happy. Extreme cases of neglect, abuse, and abandonment are never good places for horses. What I realized is that I do not think I can live without horses in my life, they are my goal, my passion, and my purpose; but I CAN live without that $3k cross country saddle or the $200 leather grooming halter I love so much. When Cash whinnies at me when I roll up the driveway it's not because I spent extra money on his blanket or bought the more expensive polo wraps, it's because I feed him, love him, groom him, and make an effort to bond with him every day. Your want list can be as long as your dreams can make it. As long as you realize what is really important and don't get lost thinking you aren't good enough because someone else has a better saddle than you. Nothing can replace desire, talent, and drive.
I will continue to keep my want list and get the things I can when I can, but I will no longer be consumed by the fact that I don't have all of those things right now. Work with what you've got and don't ever get complacent. It's ok to want more, it helps us get where we're supposed to go. Just don't stare at your wants so long you get down on yourself and give up. Use them as motivation and enjoy the moments as they're given to you!
Monday, November 4, 2013
A Thief in The Night
Recently the barn has been having some issues with missing feed. Since everyone is responsible for supplying their own feed this has got a lot of us up in arms. We come in the morning to flipped over feed bins, piles of feed in the aisle, and lids everywhere. You've heard the expression, "Don't come between a mother and her child," but I'd like to adjust it to say, "Don't come between a mother and her children's food because that directly affects their weight and her pocketbook, 2 things that you seriously don't want to mess with."
There were several theories and extremely heated discussions about who/what it could be and how we could stop the thief from ravaging our feed bins. The first, and least finger pointing theory was that we had a Houdini on the farm. Could it be?! One of our horses has opposable thumbs and is somehow getting out of his enclosure? If so, this same horse was so good that no one saw him and he put himself back after he was done wreaking havoc on our pony's breakfasts. Or maybe it is a ghost horse? We were postulating who it might be and how we might fix the issue. Aside from super gluing every latch shut, putting a ceiling over every pasture, and locking every gate, we were at a loss regarding how to fix this problem, if this was, indeed, the problem. I suppose we were waiting around to speak to all the horses and have one of them start the conversation off with, "Guess who has two thumbs and eats all the food in the middle of the night? THIS GUY!" Since that never happened we moved on to other theories.
As our minds ran wild they moved on to bigger and more upsetting possibilities, as minds are often want to do. Someone is taking our food. Some person is opening our buckets, taking the food out, and feeding it to their horses. Unfortunately this is all too real a possibility. Boarders are in and out of the barn at all hours. Our feed is out in the open, unguarded, unlocked, and completely helpless! We have some less than savory characters that sometimes show up (invited by boarders lacking logic and stability) who have just as much access to feed as we do. I have to admit, we got a little illogical during our tirades. Most people stealing a scoop of feed (or FIVE) aren't going to go about making it look like a horse got out. Unless, of course, this person walks around like Jack Sparrow after three too many rums and runs into things willy nillie.
The best part was, once we made it to this solution, there wasn't a whole lot of other ideas of what it could be. We were out for blood like a werewolf on a full moon night. Guesses of who did it ranged from a 7 year old kid to a 50 year old man. The speculations as to why were endless. I think most of us felt like this mystery robber had a vendetta against all five of us (because OBVIOUSLY there weren't any other common denominators at all that would allow us to draw any other conclusions). Other reasons were lack of money, to which we all argued in favor of selling said person's horse to recoup losses, the apparent con artist nature of everyone at the barn who was not us, and plain fun at watching us suffer. Despite what it may sound like now, our barn is not full of felons and serial killers. I promise.
Like I said, at this point we had given up on the other possibilities and were now honing in on, what we knew, had to be the culprit. So we decided to take it upon ourselves to bring the bandit to light. Our first thought, stake out. Yeah. It had gotten to the point where we were willing to stay outside, all night, hidden and quiet, in the cold and, in some cases, rain, to catch and then subsequently shame and evict the bad guy. We had it half planned out in 3 minutes flat. Parking the cars behind the house or even at the gas station down the road and walking in. Staking out in an empty stall or the tack room. All of us in black. No one really thought about the fact that 4-5 girls were involved. This implies a lot of giggling, not a lot of paying attention, perhaps some shrieking (we would be outside with bugs and shadows and other anti-girly things), and definitely not a lot of mettle to back up our anger. Oh yeah, and big girl jobs.
Someone must've thought about at least one of those things and how a stake out was probably our least likely way of catching any culprits. I'm guessing it was a husband or boyfriend who thought it out because along with the rain they provided over our parade, they offered a more ideal solution. Game cam (and we wanted to do it the hard way!). Put it up when no one was out there, don't tell anyone, hide it well and give it a few days. It was ingenious, and unfortunately not my idea.
We never made it that far. As I walked up to talk to Maggie about this awful situation and our solution, another boarder walked up and described the gigantic raccoon tracks he has been seeing in the mud. What?! Raccoons?! No. Definitely no. I was indignant. Doesn't this guy know someone is STEALING feed. The nerve of him to blame these incidents on some poor, small, starving raccoon. But then the stories started coming out of the woodwork. 3-4 coons at a time, an ambush, a planned attack. Opposable thumbs were the culprit. Some of these stories were coming from people we may or may not have pointed fingers at. To which our response was, "Suuuuuuuuure. A Likely story. Convenient isn't it, this raccoon story you've been spreading."
While a horse or two did end up getting out, and we haven't entirely ruled out a legitimate thief, we do think we've found the actual problem. No, we haven't purchased a game camera but it is next on the list if we are given any reason to think coons aren't the true culprit. One of our ranks has made a personal sighting of a baby grizzly bear sized coon so we are more convinced. Right now we are fighting fire with... well, bungee cords. On everything. Unfortunately raccoons are a tad smarter than we tend to give them credit for and it's only a matter of time before they figure out how the cords work.
Although we were gung ho about a stake out when we thought we'd catch a 2 legged raccoon, we can be just as gung ho for a stake out with rifles for real raccoons. Although a stake out for raccoons of the size we are talking about might end in a weird wrestling match with the raccoons grabbing us each in a choke hold and making us tap out, thus forcing us to buy feed to forever appease our captors. What I'm saying is, we don't really have a solid plan of attack, just a lot of pent up frustration and less feed per dollar. I think we are planning on riding out the bungee cords until the coons figure them out and then stepping up our game. This is war, so let the battles begin.
There were several theories and extremely heated discussions about who/what it could be and how we could stop the thief from ravaging our feed bins. The first, and least finger pointing theory was that we had a Houdini on the farm. Could it be?! One of our horses has opposable thumbs and is somehow getting out of his enclosure? If so, this same horse was so good that no one saw him and he put himself back after he was done wreaking havoc on our pony's breakfasts. Or maybe it is a ghost horse? We were postulating who it might be and how we might fix the issue. Aside from super gluing every latch shut, putting a ceiling over every pasture, and locking every gate, we were at a loss regarding how to fix this problem, if this was, indeed, the problem. I suppose we were waiting around to speak to all the horses and have one of them start the conversation off with, "Guess who has two thumbs and eats all the food in the middle of the night? THIS GUY!" Since that never happened we moved on to other theories.
As our minds ran wild they moved on to bigger and more upsetting possibilities, as minds are often want to do. Someone is taking our food. Some person is opening our buckets, taking the food out, and feeding it to their horses. Unfortunately this is all too real a possibility. Boarders are in and out of the barn at all hours. Our feed is out in the open, unguarded, unlocked, and completely helpless! We have some less than savory characters that sometimes show up (invited by boarders lacking logic and stability) who have just as much access to feed as we do. I have to admit, we got a little illogical during our tirades. Most people stealing a scoop of feed (or FIVE) aren't going to go about making it look like a horse got out. Unless, of course, this person walks around like Jack Sparrow after three too many rums and runs into things willy nillie.
The best part was, once we made it to this solution, there wasn't a whole lot of other ideas of what it could be. We were out for blood like a werewolf on a full moon night. Guesses of who did it ranged from a 7 year old kid to a 50 year old man. The speculations as to why were endless. I think most of us felt like this mystery robber had a vendetta against all five of us (because OBVIOUSLY there weren't any other common denominators at all that would allow us to draw any other conclusions). Other reasons were lack of money, to which we all argued in favor of selling said person's horse to recoup losses, the apparent con artist nature of everyone at the barn who was not us, and plain fun at watching us suffer. Despite what it may sound like now, our barn is not full of felons and serial killers. I promise.
Like I said, at this point we had given up on the other possibilities and were now honing in on, what we knew, had to be the culprit. So we decided to take it upon ourselves to bring the bandit to light. Our first thought, stake out. Yeah. It had gotten to the point where we were willing to stay outside, all night, hidden and quiet, in the cold and, in some cases, rain, to catch and then subsequently shame and evict the bad guy. We had it half planned out in 3 minutes flat. Parking the cars behind the house or even at the gas station down the road and walking in. Staking out in an empty stall or the tack room. All of us in black. No one really thought about the fact that 4-5 girls were involved. This implies a lot of giggling, not a lot of paying attention, perhaps some shrieking (we would be outside with bugs and shadows and other anti-girly things), and definitely not a lot of mettle to back up our anger. Oh yeah, and big girl jobs.
Someone must've thought about at least one of those things and how a stake out was probably our least likely way of catching any culprits. I'm guessing it was a husband or boyfriend who thought it out because along with the rain they provided over our parade, they offered a more ideal solution. Game cam (and we wanted to do it the hard way!). Put it up when no one was out there, don't tell anyone, hide it well and give it a few days. It was ingenious, and unfortunately not my idea.
We never made it that far. As I walked up to talk to Maggie about this awful situation and our solution, another boarder walked up and described the gigantic raccoon tracks he has been seeing in the mud. What?! Raccoons?! No. Definitely no. I was indignant. Doesn't this guy know someone is STEALING feed. The nerve of him to blame these incidents on some poor, small, starving raccoon. But then the stories started coming out of the woodwork. 3-4 coons at a time, an ambush, a planned attack. Opposable thumbs were the culprit. Some of these stories were coming from people we may or may not have pointed fingers at. To which our response was, "Suuuuuuuuure. A Likely story. Convenient isn't it, this raccoon story you've been spreading."
While a horse or two did end up getting out, and we haven't entirely ruled out a legitimate thief, we do think we've found the actual problem. No, we haven't purchased a game camera but it is next on the list if we are given any reason to think coons aren't the true culprit. One of our ranks has made a personal sighting of a baby grizzly bear sized coon so we are more convinced. Right now we are fighting fire with... well, bungee cords. On everything. Unfortunately raccoons are a tad smarter than we tend to give them credit for and it's only a matter of time before they figure out how the cords work.
Although we were gung ho about a stake out when we thought we'd catch a 2 legged raccoon, we can be just as gung ho for a stake out with rifles for real raccoons. Although a stake out for raccoons of the size we are talking about might end in a weird wrestling match with the raccoons grabbing us each in a choke hold and making us tap out, thus forcing us to buy feed to forever appease our captors. What I'm saying is, we don't really have a solid plan of attack, just a lot of pent up frustration and less feed per dollar. I think we are planning on riding out the bungee cords until the coons figure them out and then stepping up our game. This is war, so let the battles begin.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Fun? On a Horse?
Writing this post, I feel like J.K. Rowling about to release an unannounced Harry Potter book minus the billions of fans, the creativity, the notoriety, and the million dollar check in the mail. But I'm sure you aren't interested in my less than cushy lifestyle or my lack of creative writing skills. Aside from the fact that you should now be tallying up my Harry Potter references, our playday was a smashing success!
The day started out splendidly. Cool weather, football and donuts. While we were slightly late arriving at the barn, I had prepared the night before and brushed all the horses and put coolers on them so that I had minimal grooming to do in the AM (that's right, show experience shining through a bit). I decided Panda's costume was going to be a Chip N' Dales dancer and I would be a bachelorette. It was easy, upside down bell boots, a WHOLE lot of gel to make his mane stick up like a Mohawk, and a bowtie. I was planning on a black sweater dress with my riding apparel on underneath of it. Anyway, when I checked outside at 9 that morning it was bordering on chilly.
Hold on to your pants, you're about to get a few lessons right now. Weather first. So in Texas we don't have quite the dramatic temperature changes throughout the day as a desert does but we come mighty close. Closer than pretty much any other climate. So just because it's 62 degrees at 9am does not mean it will be that way in 3 hours. In fact, it almost definitely will NOT be that way in 3 hours. Fast forward to me in breeches, tall socks, boots, a tank top and a sweater dress in 75 degree weather with 90% humidity. Hot and grumpy.
I debated on which lesson to impart you with next but it seems like vocabulary makes the most sense. I would like to introduce you to the word "hangry." It is from American roots and means someone who is in dire need of sustenance and due to malnutrition is very touchy, on edge, and downright impossible to be around. Hangry. I was hangry. Which brings us to the science lesson of the day. Sugar does not a well rounded breakfast make. I don't care how "magically delicious" or "grrrrrrreat" something is, if it's straight sugar you need to pack a snack. And probably fit in a workout sometime in your near future. So donuts at 9 does not correspond to a feeling of fullness at 1:30 pm. In fact, the sugar high was over and I was now plummeting off a sugar cliff into a land where no one can make me happy. No one ever.
Needless to say, the costume contest was not as fun for me as it might've been. But I was planning on not doing too hot in that anyway so there were no tears shed. While the costume contest was fun, I'm not going into gory detail because most of what I remember were bad words and people moving too slowly. I'm going to jump to the part where my boyfriend got smart and shoved a hotdog and a Dr. Pepper in my hand and all the world was filled with rainbows and unicorns pooping hundred dollar bills.
The events commenced without too much of an issue. First was poles. The boys showed us how it was done, mostly. They galloped their ponies down, weaved the poles up and back and galloped back to the finish line. After 2 of the boys went I was about to raise my hand and ask if we were mandatory drug testing horses because I was pretty sure no horse naturally moves as fast as those ponies were going. Finally we come to my turn. Here I am summoning up my courage and fighting down the burning feeling in my stomach that is nerves and I ask about penalties. "Penalties?!" they laugh, but we end up deciding a pole down is 5 seconds. Off I go. I got smart and got a running start before the line so we were at cruising speed when we reached it but I didn't bank on how long it would take to slow Panda down and turn him so we blew past the end of the poles. Back on course I decided to trot down which was fantastic. So fantastic that I decided, "Hey, I can canter these back!" Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. After breaking into a canter, Panda decided that weaving poles is for people without any brain cels. I told him that was me and I wanted him to do it so he half-way complied but it was too late. With the pole halfway down and continuing to fall, Panda did what I've been training him to do, he jumped it. I didn't think it was bad at all but judging by the collective gasp from the crowd I will thank my lucky stars I stayed on. We sat in third place all the way till the last rider edged us out by a fraction of a second.
The flag race made us all a bit nervous. Not many people practice waving a small stick with cloth on it around our horses while riding. For good reason as most of our horses are scared of their own shadows! I was in a dressage saddle on a horse that doesn't turn and on top of all that, I don't have a death wish. We trotted to pick the flag up and then cantered around the barrels to drop it off. Altogether uneventful, especially since I was expecting Panda to break into a full "airs above the ground" routine. I may have cheated a bit... Our little arena boy was running back and forth to get the flag from the bucket we dropped it in to the bucket we pick it up from so I just asked him to try and scare my horse with it before we got going. That's totally kosher right?!
I forgot to mention in the flag race that again, we got shown up by the younger boys. Barrels went about the same way. We all thought we made pretty good runs at the barrels and then they made their runs. And we cried a lot as they did flips and high-fived from the backs of their ponies. This really isn't as fictitious as it sounds. I was completely pleased. We cantered 2 barrels and one of them Panda really dug in and turned around it. I'd like to thank the training he has but I was reminded that horses aren't fond of falling down and when you're going that fast and turning that tight they tend to get their legs under themselves and figure things out pretty quickly. Either way, it wasn't bad. I think I even got third place!
Key hole was incredible for so many different reasons. First being that I literally had NO idea what it was. I looked at the pattern and thought it was pretty easy. Then they spray painted the pattern on the ground and I still was ok with it until I asked the question everyone was wondering, "Do we go inside that pattern or outside?" I got laughed at. Apparently it's obvious that a 16 hand horse that can't walk straight should be able to plant all 4 hooves in an area no wider than 6 inches!!! Ok, maybe a little wider but talk about butterflies! On top of that, I had to go SECOND (thank heavens I was not first). I believe my words to Amanda, who went first, were, "Come on Amanda! Show us how it's done! Cause I really don't know..." I pulled it together and figured we might as well just trot. So I took my time, trotted Panda around to get a consistent speed, crossed the start line, AND HE STAYED IN THE LINES!!! So that alone made me ecstatic. Then chaos. I didn't think about turning a bit right once we got into the larger area where we had to make the turn. So I yanked his face left and tried to use my leg. Then we were going too left so I yanked his face right. Poor horse probably should've started bucking or rearing or refusing to do anything at this point. I don't know what possessed me to gallop as fast as I could back down the 6 inch span of dirt but I cowgirled up and we flew down to the finish line accompanied by cheers. My time was 12.6 seconds. Telling me that was like telling me that what the word for jello is in Chinese. I thought that was by far my worst ride but people were, like, legitimately impressed with it. Who knew?! I ended up first in that event!
So aside from learning a few western events that I was previously blind to, I really learned to kick loose and have fun! A good gallop never hurt anyone as long as you and your horse are working together, listening to each other, and not out of control. It's good to have fun on a horse and expand your horizons. I especially learned to tell my nerves to take a hike and to think logically about what my horse and I are capable of, what's safe to attempt, and strategize how we can do our best with the skills we have. I can't wait to do another one and I'm even more ready to start showing!
The day started out splendidly. Cool weather, football and donuts. While we were slightly late arriving at the barn, I had prepared the night before and brushed all the horses and put coolers on them so that I had minimal grooming to do in the AM (that's right, show experience shining through a bit). I decided Panda's costume was going to be a Chip N' Dales dancer and I would be a bachelorette. It was easy, upside down bell boots, a WHOLE lot of gel to make his mane stick up like a Mohawk, and a bowtie. I was planning on a black sweater dress with my riding apparel on underneath of it. Anyway, when I checked outside at 9 that morning it was bordering on chilly.
Hold on to your pants, you're about to get a few lessons right now. Weather first. So in Texas we don't have quite the dramatic temperature changes throughout the day as a desert does but we come mighty close. Closer than pretty much any other climate. So just because it's 62 degrees at 9am does not mean it will be that way in 3 hours. In fact, it almost definitely will NOT be that way in 3 hours. Fast forward to me in breeches, tall socks, boots, a tank top and a sweater dress in 75 degree weather with 90% humidity. Hot and grumpy.
I debated on which lesson to impart you with next but it seems like vocabulary makes the most sense. I would like to introduce you to the word "hangry." It is from American roots and means someone who is in dire need of sustenance and due to malnutrition is very touchy, on edge, and downright impossible to be around. Hangry. I was hangry. Which brings us to the science lesson of the day. Sugar does not a well rounded breakfast make. I don't care how "magically delicious" or "grrrrrrreat" something is, if it's straight sugar you need to pack a snack. And probably fit in a workout sometime in your near future. So donuts at 9 does not correspond to a feeling of fullness at 1:30 pm. In fact, the sugar high was over and I was now plummeting off a sugar cliff into a land where no one can make me happy. No one ever.
Needless to say, the costume contest was not as fun for me as it might've been. But I was planning on not doing too hot in that anyway so there were no tears shed. While the costume contest was fun, I'm not going into gory detail because most of what I remember were bad words and people moving too slowly. I'm going to jump to the part where my boyfriend got smart and shoved a hotdog and a Dr. Pepper in my hand and all the world was filled with rainbows and unicorns pooping hundred dollar bills.
The events commenced without too much of an issue. First was poles. The boys showed us how it was done, mostly. They galloped their ponies down, weaved the poles up and back and galloped back to the finish line. After 2 of the boys went I was about to raise my hand and ask if we were mandatory drug testing horses because I was pretty sure no horse naturally moves as fast as those ponies were going. Finally we come to my turn. Here I am summoning up my courage and fighting down the burning feeling in my stomach that is nerves and I ask about penalties. "Penalties?!" they laugh, but we end up deciding a pole down is 5 seconds. Off I go. I got smart and got a running start before the line so we were at cruising speed when we reached it but I didn't bank on how long it would take to slow Panda down and turn him so we blew past the end of the poles. Back on course I decided to trot down which was fantastic. So fantastic that I decided, "Hey, I can canter these back!" Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. After breaking into a canter, Panda decided that weaving poles is for people without any brain cels. I told him that was me and I wanted him to do it so he half-way complied but it was too late. With the pole halfway down and continuing to fall, Panda did what I've been training him to do, he jumped it. I didn't think it was bad at all but judging by the collective gasp from the crowd I will thank my lucky stars I stayed on. We sat in third place all the way till the last rider edged us out by a fraction of a second.
The flag race made us all a bit nervous. Not many people practice waving a small stick with cloth on it around our horses while riding. For good reason as most of our horses are scared of their own shadows! I was in a dressage saddle on a horse that doesn't turn and on top of all that, I don't have a death wish. We trotted to pick the flag up and then cantered around the barrels to drop it off. Altogether uneventful, especially since I was expecting Panda to break into a full "airs above the ground" routine. I may have cheated a bit... Our little arena boy was running back and forth to get the flag from the bucket we dropped it in to the bucket we pick it up from so I just asked him to try and scare my horse with it before we got going. That's totally kosher right?!
I forgot to mention in the flag race that again, we got shown up by the younger boys. Barrels went about the same way. We all thought we made pretty good runs at the barrels and then they made their runs. And we cried a lot as they did flips and high-fived from the backs of their ponies. This really isn't as fictitious as it sounds. I was completely pleased. We cantered 2 barrels and one of them Panda really dug in and turned around it. I'd like to thank the training he has but I was reminded that horses aren't fond of falling down and when you're going that fast and turning that tight they tend to get their legs under themselves and figure things out pretty quickly. Either way, it wasn't bad. I think I even got third place!
Key hole was incredible for so many different reasons. First being that I literally had NO idea what it was. I looked at the pattern and thought it was pretty easy. Then they spray painted the pattern on the ground and I still was ok with it until I asked the question everyone was wondering, "Do we go inside that pattern or outside?" I got laughed at. Apparently it's obvious that a 16 hand horse that can't walk straight should be able to plant all 4 hooves in an area no wider than 6 inches!!! Ok, maybe a little wider but talk about butterflies! On top of that, I had to go SECOND (thank heavens I was not first). I believe my words to Amanda, who went first, were, "Come on Amanda! Show us how it's done! Cause I really don't know..." I pulled it together and figured we might as well just trot. So I took my time, trotted Panda around to get a consistent speed, crossed the start line, AND HE STAYED IN THE LINES!!! So that alone made me ecstatic. Then chaos. I didn't think about turning a bit right once we got into the larger area where we had to make the turn. So I yanked his face left and tried to use my leg. Then we were going too left so I yanked his face right. Poor horse probably should've started bucking or rearing or refusing to do anything at this point. I don't know what possessed me to gallop as fast as I could back down the 6 inch span of dirt but I cowgirled up and we flew down to the finish line accompanied by cheers. My time was 12.6 seconds. Telling me that was like telling me that what the word for jello is in Chinese. I thought that was by far my worst ride but people were, like, legitimately impressed with it. Who knew?! I ended up first in that event!
So aside from learning a few western events that I was previously blind to, I really learned to kick loose and have fun! A good gallop never hurt anyone as long as you and your horse are working together, listening to each other, and not out of control. It's good to have fun on a horse and expand your horizons. I especially learned to tell my nerves to take a hike and to think logically about what my horse and I are capable of, what's safe to attempt, and strategize how we can do our best with the skills we have. I can't wait to do another one and I'm even more ready to start showing!
Thursday, October 24, 2013
To Be Or Not To Be... Disappointed
Today was lesson day, for once I wasn't teaching, I was taking. I look forward to Thursdays like someone looks forward to a root canal (no they aren't bad, just go with me!), nervous about going through it but totally and completely aware that when it's over they're going to feel awesome, or at least better. Today was no exception.
Generally I ride Marvel in lessons but we've identified some huge issues/holes in Panda's basic training that I need help teaching to him so I hopped on Panda and succumbed to the mercy of creative minds. Panda has excelled greatly and exceeded pretty much all of our expectations for where he is now compared to where he was. I've probably been working him a total of a month and a half and even then, not riding him every single day.
So today we warmed up as usual. Walk, trot, canter, no problems (at this point there better not be!). Trotted a few times over an X with a slight bending and turning problem, but no jump problems. Reversed directions and jumped the X and we hit our first speed bump. Apparently my half-seat is less of a half-seat and more of a forward and paused post as we skim over the jump and continue on our way. Try as I might (and I did try several more times) I couldn't understand how to fix the issue so instead I held my half-seat on the approach to the jump (hey there hunter ring, didn't expect to see you back in my life). Ok. We did well enough.
If you've ready my previous post about our prep for the playday this weekend you'll know turning is not our forte. By our, I mean Panda's because I realize that turning gets us new places and he's still stuck on the idea that the world is, indeed, flat and also endless and one should be able to go straight till they get tired. The exercise we were working on included several [tight] turns (all turns are tight to Panda) and I, as usual, was toeing the dirt and looking unashamedly skeptical at the fact that this horse and I could even dream of attempting this feat. Granted, that's a bad attitude to have but I haven't finished this post so don't judge yet!
Maggie was compassionate enough to let us trot each element of the exercise individually before sticking it together and cantering it. Much to my complete chagrin, my half-seat not only didn't improve, it got worse as we were trotting these only slightly larger jumps. I didn't have butterflies and I didn't think I was thinking that much but we had to have a pow wow before my mouth popping, back jarring position convinced Panda that jumping is for the birds and no fun for him. The diagnosis: NERVES.
ME?! Ms Big Dreams McGee? Nerves jumping no higher than 2'3" on a horse that, to this point, has not done one single nasty thing during our rides? Yup. Me. Excuse my text language French but, WTF?! Why? It made me more nervous that I was apparently subconsciously nervous. Going back and analyzing the jumps I couldn't tell you what I was thinking per se, but I can tell you that I wasn't expecting him to jump them. Rookie mistake. I can also tell you that I don't know what this horse does when excited or jumping so I expected the worst and held on with a Darth Vader throat grip. Another poor decision. I can also say that I was trying to conjure up everything I'd ever heard my instructors say about green horses and thought I was doing everything right, or at least making valiant and correct attempts. Negative.
Basically I was scared of the unknown. But if I never try I won't know. I've been living in the comfortable, slow moving world that is "Jeannette's Training Camp for Horses With Bad Raps Who Aren't Actually That Bad and May Even Be Great." For all my good ideas and great plans, I forgot that to get better we have to push ourselves and our horses. If I'm never a bit nervous, I'm not doing anything outside of my comfort zone. Last time I checked, I've never competed in a CCI*** so that might could possible be outside my comfort zone, meaning I'll never make it there! At least not with this attitude and mindset.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm trying my butt off, but it's easy to get stuck in a rut. This is why I was wanting so badly to take lessons. I've fallen into so many bad habits, both because of the 6 years I've had off and because of riding green horses. If you don't ever get a second opinion or someone on the ground to look at what you're doing, you'll never know if you're doing it wrong! I am eternally grateful for the lessons and they're obviously already helping me to improve.
The other thing I was quite upset about today was me, my riding, and my background. I wanted to cry, throw my hands up in the air, my reins down on the ground, and call my old trainers to have them verify that, yes, I did indeed actually jump things and take lessons and have my own horse and compete and was at least halfway decent at most of those things most of the time. I felt like a failure. You want me to work on my half-seat? Are you sure? How do I not know that anymore? Why am I nervous, I jumped double this height on Sam! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Luckily the question was posed to me, "What were you expecting? To get on a horse and jump 5' and be perfect? How long ago did you used to do this?" Honestly, I expected to be perfect. I expected to jump on a horse and be ready to show tomorrow. Excuse this last one, I don't mean it as vainly as it's going to sound, but I expected to impress people. How I expected all this on a green 5 year old Thoroughbred with 6 years off, I don't really know. I hadn't really gotten that far. As with most things, I just expect Harry Potter to be real, I expect him to wave his wand, and my heels go down, eyes go up, and my horse and I to sail over jumps and off into the sunset. I'm not always the logical person I make myself out to be.
In the 15 minutes after the three of us came to the realization that I just need to throw caution to the wind and let my horse figure things out it all started to come together. I can't say I threw my nerves completely to the wind, but I did raise my stirrups and throw my hands at his face (not literally, calm down) rather than his tail and everything went a lot better. We aren't event ready, or even pre-green baby hunter over poles ready, but it was a huge step in the right direction.
Nerves will always be there. They're good for you. They encourage you to analyze the situation and be sure that you are being safe and smart. Without nerves I'm pretty sure there would be a lot more Darwin Awards (Google will answer all your questions here). But there is a time when you realize that you need to tell them to take their butterflies and nausea out back and axe them because this isn't the time or place. Eleanor Roosevelt's quote sticks in my head here, "Do one thing every day that scares you." Challenge yourself. Grow. Don't get stuck in your comfort zone. It has a bad habit of building an underground bomb shelter made out of concrete that is impossible to climb out of if you let it go too long.
Generally I ride Marvel in lessons but we've identified some huge issues/holes in Panda's basic training that I need help teaching to him so I hopped on Panda and succumbed to the mercy of creative minds. Panda has excelled greatly and exceeded pretty much all of our expectations for where he is now compared to where he was. I've probably been working him a total of a month and a half and even then, not riding him every single day.
So today we warmed up as usual. Walk, trot, canter, no problems (at this point there better not be!). Trotted a few times over an X with a slight bending and turning problem, but no jump problems. Reversed directions and jumped the X and we hit our first speed bump. Apparently my half-seat is less of a half-seat and more of a forward and paused post as we skim over the jump and continue on our way. Try as I might (and I did try several more times) I couldn't understand how to fix the issue so instead I held my half-seat on the approach to the jump (hey there hunter ring, didn't expect to see you back in my life). Ok. We did well enough.
 |
| Not Panda. Not a great half-seat. Not our lesson today. See! I've needed help for awhile! |
If you've ready my previous post about our prep for the playday this weekend you'll know turning is not our forte. By our, I mean Panda's because I realize that turning gets us new places and he's still stuck on the idea that the world is, indeed, flat and also endless and one should be able to go straight till they get tired. The exercise we were working on included several [tight] turns (all turns are tight to Panda) and I, as usual, was toeing the dirt and looking unashamedly skeptical at the fact that this horse and I could even dream of attempting this feat. Granted, that's a bad attitude to have but I haven't finished this post so don't judge yet!
Maggie was compassionate enough to let us trot each element of the exercise individually before sticking it together and cantering it. Much to my complete chagrin, my half-seat not only didn't improve, it got worse as we were trotting these only slightly larger jumps. I didn't have butterflies and I didn't think I was thinking that much but we had to have a pow wow before my mouth popping, back jarring position convinced Panda that jumping is for the birds and no fun for him. The diagnosis: NERVES.
 |
| HEY! That's my bottom in the saddle... |
ME?! Ms Big Dreams McGee? Nerves jumping no higher than 2'3" on a horse that, to this point, has not done one single nasty thing during our rides? Yup. Me. Excuse my text language French but, WTF?! Why? It made me more nervous that I was apparently subconsciously nervous. Going back and analyzing the jumps I couldn't tell you what I was thinking per se, but I can tell you that I wasn't expecting him to jump them. Rookie mistake. I can also tell you that I don't know what this horse does when excited or jumping so I expected the worst and held on with a Darth Vader throat grip. Another poor decision. I can also say that I was trying to conjure up everything I'd ever heard my instructors say about green horses and thought I was doing everything right, or at least making valiant and correct attempts. Negative.
Basically I was scared of the unknown. But if I never try I won't know. I've been living in the comfortable, slow moving world that is "Jeannette's Training Camp for Horses With Bad Raps Who Aren't Actually That Bad and May Even Be Great." For all my good ideas and great plans, I forgot that to get better we have to push ourselves and our horses. If I'm never a bit nervous, I'm not doing anything outside of my comfort zone. Last time I checked, I've never competed in a CCI*** so that might could possible be outside my comfort zone, meaning I'll never make it there! At least not with this attitude and mindset.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm trying my butt off, but it's easy to get stuck in a rut. This is why I was wanting so badly to take lessons. I've fallen into so many bad habits, both because of the 6 years I've had off and because of riding green horses. If you don't ever get a second opinion or someone on the ground to look at what you're doing, you'll never know if you're doing it wrong! I am eternally grateful for the lessons and they're obviously already helping me to improve.
The other thing I was quite upset about today was me, my riding, and my background. I wanted to cry, throw my hands up in the air, my reins down on the ground, and call my old trainers to have them verify that, yes, I did indeed actually jump things and take lessons and have my own horse and compete and was at least halfway decent at most of those things most of the time. I felt like a failure. You want me to work on my half-seat? Are you sure? How do I not know that anymore? Why am I nervous, I jumped double this height on Sam! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Luckily the question was posed to me, "What were you expecting? To get on a horse and jump 5' and be perfect? How long ago did you used to do this?" Honestly, I expected to be perfect. I expected to jump on a horse and be ready to show tomorrow. Excuse this last one, I don't mean it as vainly as it's going to sound, but I expected to impress people. How I expected all this on a green 5 year old Thoroughbred with 6 years off, I don't really know. I hadn't really gotten that far. As with most things, I just expect Harry Potter to be real, I expect him to wave his wand, and my heels go down, eyes go up, and my horse and I to sail over jumps and off into the sunset. I'm not always the logical person I make myself out to be.
 |
| How have I not really looked at these pictures?! #Halfseatproblems |
In the 15 minutes after the three of us came to the realization that I just need to throw caution to the wind and let my horse figure things out it all started to come together. I can't say I threw my nerves completely to the wind, but I did raise my stirrups and throw my hands at his face (not literally, calm down) rather than his tail and everything went a lot better. We aren't event ready, or even pre-green baby hunter over poles ready, but it was a huge step in the right direction.
Nerves will always be there. They're good for you. They encourage you to analyze the situation and be sure that you are being safe and smart. Without nerves I'm pretty sure there would be a lot more Darwin Awards (Google will answer all your questions here). But there is a time when you realize that you need to tell them to take their butterflies and nausea out back and axe them because this isn't the time or place. Eleanor Roosevelt's quote sticks in my head here, "Do one thing every day that scares you." Challenge yourself. Grow. Don't get stuck in your comfort zone. It has a bad habit of building an underground bomb shelter made out of concrete that is impossible to climb out of if you let it go too long.
 |
| Eh. So-so. Obviously I never analyzed these. |
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Playday or Bawling Hayday?
The competition is starting to get fierce! This Saturday the barn is having a playday and I am totally unprepared for any event generally ridden in a western saddle. I was a hunter for 4 years. Fast to me is an extended canter (no, not a hand gallop). Even in jumpers, which I did for 3 or so years, rarely do you ask your horse for a lot of speed. Yes, classes are based on time, but time is made by taking good routes and tight jumper turns. Oh, and not knocking a rail down or getting a refusal.
The events as I understand them are barrels, poles, keyhole, apple bobbing, musical stalls and possibly an egg and spoon race. I have known about this event for at least a month. Fast forward to yesterday evening. Panic attack. I. Don't. Know. This. Stuff. I'm no barrel racer but I'm guessing it'll take a bit longer than 5 days to train a horse to run a correct pattern.
Amanda, besides looking aghast at my lack of knowledge of the other half of our sport, volunteered to watch my pathetic attempt at western training and perhaps yell a few things here and there as she laughs under her breath. Panda is going to be the horse I ride in this play day as Marvel has been picked by a friend of mine to ride. Marvel has also been displaying some frisky acrobatics when asked to go quickly so he may not be my best bet anyway.
Panda is a 2 year old horse trapped in a 9 year old's body. I squeeze, he rolls his eyes and acts like he never felt anything. I pull left and his nose goes left (as the rest of his body travels in the straight line we were going in when I pulled left). I half-halt, he, wait, SO CONFUSED! These events are apparently based solely on turning and gaining speed in an efficient, if not fast, manner. Since he doesn't seem to know my leg from a fly on his butt I anticipated trouble with obtaining and then maintaining any legitimate speed. Being a Thoroughbred, I was reminded that they weren't built to gather speed quickly which is why they aren't the number one option for western sports (WHAT?! OTTBs can't do everything?!) Also, our arena is probably 30-40 yards wide and that seems to be a tight turn for him. Amanda was speaking Hungarian or something; "Rollback turns," "hand gallop," and "point him at that barrel and make him hug it as he turns around it" were all things she was saying. I must've been speaking a different dialect as I enthusiastically told her how my pony that can barely be coaxed into a trot or turned from his course can't do those things.
As most of you horse poor people know, you don't say no to a free "lesson" of any kind. And if you don't know that mantra you aren't really horse poor. So with a nervous giggle, off I went doing the things I was told. Our first exercise was hand gallop to canter transitions. Picking up the canter was a chore in itself as we had already trotted around quite briskly and Panda is a skinny fat kid with few muscles. After long last (and a really bruised behind) we were cantering. Now time for the gallop. I don't know why this makes me nervous. Perhaps because I've never really done it, perhaps because I'm on the back of an ex-racehorse who knows how to kick it in to high gear, or perhaps I was worried about what could possibly happen (my imagination is boundless in a mainly negative way). I never figured it out because next thing I know I was in a galloping seat and we were moving out! Well, I thought we were moving out. Apparently it was just a good paced canter because I heard yelling out of the corner of my ear about pushing him and letting him have his head. Exercise failed.
Next, barrels. That was actually fun. Walking up to a barrel and making Panda turn around it by kicking him with my outside leg and pulling his nose around seemed easy. Yet every time I approached the barrels I had to figure out which way we were turning and what rein and leg that corresponded with. I can't brush a horse and have a conversation at the same time so this was like rocket science to me. If my arm and leg on the same side of my body can't do something at the same time they get separation anxiety. It's totally not my fault you see! After mastering this at the walk we moved to the trot... and then abruptly got laughed at. We quickly decided that strategy, rather than skill, would be the only way we might be able to pull out a win. He turns right worse than left so if we take the first barrel on the right side we will have two left turns. Exercise not so much failed as deemed unhelpful for the time available.
Last was Panda's favorite, breaking out of the "start box." This was a faint line drawn by Amanda in an arena full of other lines. The ready, set, go she gave us was very nonstressful which contributed to our feeling of meager success. The first time poor Panda was scared straight (and fast!) by me cowboying up with kicks, kisses, and a crop and Amanda clapping, kissing and arm waving. Apparently the point was not lost on him because the second time around, as I reached back to tap him on the bottom with the crop, he lurched forward and sideways and we got up to speed a lot faster. The last time my ADD got the better of both of us. It went a little like, "Ready, set, go!" Kisses, kicks, "WOAH! He's doing it! He took off, what a good boy. Oh crap, there's the barrel, we were supposed to be going faster by now..." Nonetheless, as mentioned, the exercise was at least a slight success.
Panda was soaked in sweat and I wasn't looking too fancy myself but we learned things! And we went fast! It was a blast and I haven't even done the playday yet!! Now to make the competition even more fierce by adding prizes to the winner of the events. I've already threatened to tranquilize every horse on the property but mine if there's a dandy brush up for grabs. I have a feeling that this ecstasy will be short lived. Especially seeing as I take competition much too seriously and am a tack trunk full of nerves before events of any kind.
Just need to remember that playday = fun and being beat by a 7 year old is not something to be ashamed of.
The events as I understand them are barrels, poles, keyhole, apple bobbing, musical stalls and possibly an egg and spoon race. I have known about this event for at least a month. Fast forward to yesterday evening. Panic attack. I. Don't. Know. This. Stuff. I'm no barrel racer but I'm guessing it'll take a bit longer than 5 days to train a horse to run a correct pattern.
Amanda, besides looking aghast at my lack of knowledge of the other half of our sport, volunteered to watch my pathetic attempt at western training and perhaps yell a few things here and there as she laughs under her breath. Panda is going to be the horse I ride in this play day as Marvel has been picked by a friend of mine to ride. Marvel has also been displaying some frisky acrobatics when asked to go quickly so he may not be my best bet anyway.
Panda is a 2 year old horse trapped in a 9 year old's body. I squeeze, he rolls his eyes and acts like he never felt anything. I pull left and his nose goes left (as the rest of his body travels in the straight line we were going in when I pulled left). I half-halt, he, wait, SO CONFUSED! These events are apparently based solely on turning and gaining speed in an efficient, if not fast, manner. Since he doesn't seem to know my leg from a fly on his butt I anticipated trouble with obtaining and then maintaining any legitimate speed. Being a Thoroughbred, I was reminded that they weren't built to gather speed quickly which is why they aren't the number one option for western sports (WHAT?! OTTBs can't do everything?!) Also, our arena is probably 30-40 yards wide and that seems to be a tight turn for him. Amanda was speaking Hungarian or something; "Rollback turns," "hand gallop," and "point him at that barrel and make him hug it as he turns around it" were all things she was saying. I must've been speaking a different dialect as I enthusiastically told her how my pony that can barely be coaxed into a trot or turned from his course can't do those things.
As most of you horse poor people know, you don't say no to a free "lesson" of any kind. And if you don't know that mantra you aren't really horse poor. So with a nervous giggle, off I went doing the things I was told. Our first exercise was hand gallop to canter transitions. Picking up the canter was a chore in itself as we had already trotted around quite briskly and Panda is a skinny fat kid with few muscles. After long last (and a really bruised behind) we were cantering. Now time for the gallop. I don't know why this makes me nervous. Perhaps because I've never really done it, perhaps because I'm on the back of an ex-racehorse who knows how to kick it in to high gear, or perhaps I was worried about what could possibly happen (my imagination is boundless in a mainly negative way). I never figured it out because next thing I know I was in a galloping seat and we were moving out! Well, I thought we were moving out. Apparently it was just a good paced canter because I heard yelling out of the corner of my ear about pushing him and letting him have his head. Exercise failed.
Next, barrels. That was actually fun. Walking up to a barrel and making Panda turn around it by kicking him with my outside leg and pulling his nose around seemed easy. Yet every time I approached the barrels I had to figure out which way we were turning and what rein and leg that corresponded with. I can't brush a horse and have a conversation at the same time so this was like rocket science to me. If my arm and leg on the same side of my body can't do something at the same time they get separation anxiety. It's totally not my fault you see! After mastering this at the walk we moved to the trot... and then abruptly got laughed at. We quickly decided that strategy, rather than skill, would be the only way we might be able to pull out a win. He turns right worse than left so if we take the first barrel on the right side we will have two left turns. Exercise not so much failed as deemed unhelpful for the time available.
Last was Panda's favorite, breaking out of the "start box." This was a faint line drawn by Amanda in an arena full of other lines. The ready, set, go she gave us was very nonstressful which contributed to our feeling of meager success. The first time poor Panda was scared straight (and fast!) by me cowboying up with kicks, kisses, and a crop and Amanda clapping, kissing and arm waving. Apparently the point was not lost on him because the second time around, as I reached back to tap him on the bottom with the crop, he lurched forward and sideways and we got up to speed a lot faster. The last time my ADD got the better of both of us. It went a little like, "Ready, set, go!" Kisses, kicks, "WOAH! He's doing it! He took off, what a good boy. Oh crap, there's the barrel, we were supposed to be going faster by now..." Nonetheless, as mentioned, the exercise was at least a slight success.
Panda was soaked in sweat and I wasn't looking too fancy myself but we learned things! And we went fast! It was a blast and I haven't even done the playday yet!! Now to make the competition even more fierce by adding prizes to the winner of the events. I've already threatened to tranquilize every horse on the property but mine if there's a dandy brush up for grabs. I have a feeling that this ecstasy will be short lived. Especially seeing as I take competition much too seriously and am a tack trunk full of nerves before events of any kind.
Just need to remember that playday = fun and being beat by a 7 year old is not something to be ashamed of.
 |
| Maybe he'll make it as a dressage pony?! |
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Halloween = Pumpkin Everything; No Exceptions.
I am a holiday nerd. I'm sure everyone has that one crazy aunt who, besides being a cat lady, also ends up being a holiday décor hoarder. Children run screaming from her house because of her legitimately frightening Halloween decorations. You have Thanksgiving leftovers for 3 weeks because of how all-out she goes. Her house can be seen in space during Christmas and neighbors call and complain from 3 miles away. Well, I'm worse. I may not have the benefit of 20 years of hoarding but what I lack in decorations (and cats), I make up for in holiday spirit.
While I'm not one to be creative and dress up for Halloween, traditions are a must. Pumpkin carving is a tradition that cannot be forgotten. Although I have, for the past 3 or so years, been carving pumpkins by myself with canine supervision (Uhoh, maybe the cats aren't that far away...), I've always found it to be more fun with friends. This year I have been blessed with a particularly fun-loving set of friends who accepted my idea with gusto!
When alone with the puppies I generally light pumpkin scented candles, make pumpkin bread, get some sort of pumpkin drink and save the pumpkin seeds for roasting. Pumpkin overload! This afternoon I had to forego the inundation of pumpkin on my senses and cope with just carving 2 pumpkins.
Let's revisit the part where I mentioned that my friends were overly excited about this idea of pumpkin carving; they were happy with the change of routine and decided they had no better offers. I like to live obliviously in my fantasy holiday world and project my elation onto everyone nearby. I don't think most of the event attendees knew my deep seated love for holiday tradition but they were soon clued in.
The array of pumpkin carving tools I brought included knives, mini saws, 3 electronic mini saws, a stencil book, markers, pencils, hole punching equipment and a towel. There is no messing around with pumpkins. Get your game face on or suffer my holiday spirit fueled wrath.
Needless to say, the pumpkins were carved. Amanda's boyfriend seemed to share a slightly less escalated (but better than most) love of carving and completed two pumpkins along with me. As I placed mine in front of the horses' stalls I began to wonder a few things; how long will these last with the flies, which horse will attempt to eat the pumpkin, how soon will they attempt the eating, and how scared will Cash be when he sees a huge orange possible horse killer sitting on a black plastic known horse killer (aka trash bag)?
Before anyone freaks out, horses can eat pumpkin. Can and will are two different things. I was also pleasantly surprised and a bit disappointed that as we walked Cash down the barn aisle he neither noticed nor cared about the new décor. I couldn't let that rest and proceeded to walk into the stall carrying his assigned pumpkin which provoked the response I was originally looking for (nervous pony backed in a corner). Again, please don't freak out. As much as I love torturing small ponies I do it for desensitization purposes rather than getting pure joy from watching them cower.
I hope my barn friends are ready for what is to come. They caught a small glimpse of my ecstatic holiday cheer but I'm not sure they've put two and two together to realize that if I could wrap the boys in Christmas lights I absolutely would. What they don't know won't hurt them right?!
While I'm not one to be creative and dress up for Halloween, traditions are a must. Pumpkin carving is a tradition that cannot be forgotten. Although I have, for the past 3 or so years, been carving pumpkins by myself with canine supervision (Uhoh, maybe the cats aren't that far away...), I've always found it to be more fun with friends. This year I have been blessed with a particularly fun-loving set of friends who accepted my idea with gusto!
 |
| Pumpkin prep-work |
When alone with the puppies I generally light pumpkin scented candles, make pumpkin bread, get some sort of pumpkin drink and save the pumpkin seeds for roasting. Pumpkin overload! This afternoon I had to forego the inundation of pumpkin on my senses and cope with just carving 2 pumpkins.
Let's revisit the part where I mentioned that my friends were overly excited about this idea of pumpkin carving; they were happy with the change of routine and decided they had no better offers. I like to live obliviously in my fantasy holiday world and project my elation onto everyone nearby. I don't think most of the event attendees knew my deep seated love for holiday tradition but they were soon clued in.
The array of pumpkin carving tools I brought included knives, mini saws, 3 electronic mini saws, a stencil book, markers, pencils, hole punching equipment and a towel. There is no messing around with pumpkins. Get your game face on or suffer my holiday spirit fueled wrath.
 |
| The pumpkins we carved for each of the boys! |
Needless to say, the pumpkins were carved. Amanda's boyfriend seemed to share a slightly less escalated (but better than most) love of carving and completed two pumpkins along with me. As I placed mine in front of the horses' stalls I began to wonder a few things; how long will these last with the flies, which horse will attempt to eat the pumpkin, how soon will they attempt the eating, and how scared will Cash be when he sees a huge orange possible horse killer sitting on a black plastic known horse killer (aka trash bag)?
Before anyone freaks out, horses can eat pumpkin. Can and will are two different things. I was also pleasantly surprised and a bit disappointed that as we walked Cash down the barn aisle he neither noticed nor cared about the new décor. I couldn't let that rest and proceeded to walk into the stall carrying his assigned pumpkin which provoked the response I was originally looking for (nervous pony backed in a corner). Again, please don't freak out. As much as I love torturing small ponies I do it for desensitization purposes rather than getting pure joy from watching them cower.
 |
| More finished products! |
Friday, October 18, 2013
How to Most Thoroughly Embarrass Your Ponies, a Halloween Thinktank
Halloween is just around the corner! I'm not a creative person by any means and I've never been a fan of dressing up. Halloween makes me excited because it is the kick-off of the holiday season! Bring on too many commercials about things I didn't know existed but now need, the extra ten pounds that comes with hot chocolate and sugar cookies, and endless versions of the same Christmas song. I'm ready. For all but the cold that is, but that's a different post for a different day.
This year I am slightly more excited about the actual holiday of Halloween because there are 6 animals under my care that are about to run crying home and have PTSD from the costumes I will dream up for them. There are endless possibilities (but a slightly more constrictive budget) for this holiday's festivities!
Jesse is having a jockey strapped to her back and is going as a racehorse. Hina is going as the grumpy big sister who stayed home at my house (she isn't going). Kiba is scary all by himself. If he goes he will not need to dress up.
Marvel is being pimped out to a friend of mine. She has decided to dress him as superman which is perfectly fitting. He's named after the comics and he's huge and super! He's probably not going to have to see a counselor after his makeover is complete. I mean come on, who doesn't want to be superman!!
Cash is probably not going to end up getting dressed up. He is going to be the Headless Horseman's mount except the headless horseman is not going to be astride because he is not comfortable on horseback, much less spooky pony-back. If I were going to dress him up he would HAVE to be a Pegasus. He's black and adorable which is close to black and majestic which is what a Pegasus is. Of course logistically I'm not sure there are any form of wings I could attach to him that would make him feel safe and secure. That might work in my benefit though because we'd certainly see a flying horse... BEST COSTUME AWARD GOES TO: Jeannette, and her flying black pony that cannot be stopped to detach the wings. That win would be short lived.
Panda. I am having an identity crisis with him. There is a horse in the barn better suited to be a unicorn but if they aren't going to do Unicorn then I totally want to do it! When I picture a unicorn though I don't picture a fat bellied, ribby, ewe-necked, dappled grey with a black mane and tail. I think of something all white, very "knight's steed"-esque with a purple iridescent mane and tail. Panda's tail has been many colors but the yellow it is now is the closest it has come to purple. Scratch unicorn. The idea I keep coming back to is Indian. I want to get some paint and put handprints and illegible stick figures depicting vicious battle on his sides. I want to put football/battle stripes under his eyes and teach him to rear so that everyone that comes and asks us what we are will get a good hearty rear and a gruff "Indian" from me. Now that I'm thinking about it, he needs to learn to neigh and rear at the same time.
Ok, all joking aside, I do want to paint him but then I don't have an Indian costume. I am left very unimpressed with the "Sexy Indian," "Flirty Indian," and "Mysterious Indian" costumes in stores that are all the same bikini idea with fringe in different places. My mom told me never to touch the feathers you find on the ground so that nixes my plans for a "build your own" Indian costume. Another speed bump I'm running in to is the whole riding idea. Indians rode bareback. Pictures don't do Panda's back justice. His spine is about 6 inches above where his meat and muscles start. It looks like someone pitched a tent of skin on top of his back. I'd be getting that wedgie out till next Halloween. Also, what paint is ok to use on a horse? What if it stains his fur? What if it's 30 degrees, how am I gonna get it off him?! Halloween is notoriously cold in these parts. I think it's God's way of making all those girls in lingerie suffer (which I am perfectly ok with).
I guess I need to go back to the drawing board. I don't really want to do jockey/race horse. Besides, Jesse is already being that. I could do sheep but Amanda has already thought of the logistics of that and it's a no go. We could be Gandalf/Shadowfax. I'd definitely be warm but I feel like a beard that long might get in the way. I'm no expert though. We could be ghosts... That wouldn't be terribly hard to do but it is so easy! Maybe I'll make him little cuffs (upside down bell boots?!) and a bow tie and he can be a Chip-N-Dales dancer. He IS handsome. :)
Halloween, here we come!!!
This year I am slightly more excited about the actual holiday of Halloween because there are 6 animals under my care that are about to run crying home and have PTSD from the costumes I will dream up for them. There are endless possibilities (but a slightly more constrictive budget) for this holiday's festivities!
Jesse is having a jockey strapped to her back and is going as a racehorse. Hina is going as the grumpy big sister who stayed home at my house (she isn't going). Kiba is scary all by himself. If he goes he will not need to dress up.
Marvel is being pimped out to a friend of mine. She has decided to dress him as superman which is perfectly fitting. He's named after the comics and he's huge and super! He's probably not going to have to see a counselor after his makeover is complete. I mean come on, who doesn't want to be superman!!
Cash is probably not going to end up getting dressed up. He is going to be the Headless Horseman's mount except the headless horseman is not going to be astride because he is not comfortable on horseback, much less spooky pony-back. If I were going to dress him up he would HAVE to be a Pegasus. He's black and adorable which is close to black and majestic which is what a Pegasus is. Of course logistically I'm not sure there are any form of wings I could attach to him that would make him feel safe and secure. That might work in my benefit though because we'd certainly see a flying horse... BEST COSTUME AWARD GOES TO: Jeannette, and her flying black pony that cannot be stopped to detach the wings. That win would be short lived.
Panda. I am having an identity crisis with him. There is a horse in the barn better suited to be a unicorn but if they aren't going to do Unicorn then I totally want to do it! When I picture a unicorn though I don't picture a fat bellied, ribby, ewe-necked, dappled grey with a black mane and tail. I think of something all white, very "knight's steed"-esque with a purple iridescent mane and tail. Panda's tail has been many colors but the yellow it is now is the closest it has come to purple. Scratch unicorn. The idea I keep coming back to is Indian. I want to get some paint and put handprints and illegible stick figures depicting vicious battle on his sides. I want to put football/battle stripes under his eyes and teach him to rear so that everyone that comes and asks us what we are will get a good hearty rear and a gruff "Indian" from me. Now that I'm thinking about it, he needs to learn to neigh and rear at the same time.
Ok, all joking aside, I do want to paint him but then I don't have an Indian costume. I am left very unimpressed with the "Sexy Indian," "Flirty Indian," and "Mysterious Indian" costumes in stores that are all the same bikini idea with fringe in different places. My mom told me never to touch the feathers you find on the ground so that nixes my plans for a "build your own" Indian costume. Another speed bump I'm running in to is the whole riding idea. Indians rode bareback. Pictures don't do Panda's back justice. His spine is about 6 inches above where his meat and muscles start. It looks like someone pitched a tent of skin on top of his back. I'd be getting that wedgie out till next Halloween. Also, what paint is ok to use on a horse? What if it stains his fur? What if it's 30 degrees, how am I gonna get it off him?! Halloween is notoriously cold in these parts. I think it's God's way of making all those girls in lingerie suffer (which I am perfectly ok with).
I guess I need to go back to the drawing board. I don't really want to do jockey/race horse. Besides, Jesse is already being that. I could do sheep but Amanda has already thought of the logistics of that and it's a no go. We could be Gandalf/Shadowfax. I'd definitely be warm but I feel like a beard that long might get in the way. I'm no expert though. We could be ghosts... That wouldn't be terribly hard to do but it is so easy! Maybe I'll make him little cuffs (upside down bell boots?!) and a bow tie and he can be a Chip-N-Dales dancer. He IS handsome. :)
Halloween, here we come!!!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Pegasus, Unicorns, Dragons, and the Dressage Frame
So I've started taking lessons from the owner of the farm, Maggie, this past month. I am not used to not having lessons and I also need to have a less biased set of eyes on the boys so that I can be told exactly how it is. She has plenty of eventing experience and is very patient which are both things I need at this point in my riding career.
I'm not sure if I've expressed my love for jumping but if you aren't aware of it let me try to spell it out for you. I love jumping like Santa loves good little boys and girls. I love jumping like Harry Potter loves to get himself into mortal peril. I love jumping like boys doing no-shave-November love their beards. I love jumping like ET loves to phone home, like girls in the 80's loved big hair and mom jeans (those should never EVER come back by the way), like Miley Cyrus loves wearing granny panties in music videos, and like candy deprived little kids love to go trick-or-treating. It's legit.
I have a background of jumping, but that is only 1/3 of the skill I need to successfully make it through a 3 day event. Cross Country isn't so much a new skill to learn as more bravery and miles to acquire. I have never done it before but in essence the idea is the same as in the jumper ring with a few more hiccups along the way. Many of these hiccups are meant to try the horse or the horse and rider combo rather than just the rider.
Where I am lost beyond recognition, and where Maggie truly comes in, is this dressage thing. For those of you who don't know what dressage is, open up a new tab (do it now), go to Google, and type in "Grand Prix Dressage." Go ahead. Watch the whole 6 minute test. See how the horse prances and does movements I couldn't even attempt on my own without a horse in my wildest dreams? See how the rider is motionless? And how the horse's head and neck are beautifully muscled and arched? Yeah, that's what I have to learn how to do. Minus the prancing, the ballet moves, and anything else that makes you go "WOW!"
The main thing I have to learn is how to teach my horse to carry itself well. This includes a good head and neck carriage and a rounded back. I'm not sure if this is a battle I'm ready to begin to fight! For starters, I've never had a dressage lesson (granted, flatwork is all dressage and I've had plenty of flatwork lessons, but nothing more). Then, I'm riding horses that are green. Marvel barely knows how to get from point A to point B without tripping over his hooves and Panda is as unbalanced as a top losing momentum. Cash is on a whole different path so he isn't even a pawn in this game! So I don't know how to ask for this frame, I don't know what it feels like were I to catch a glimmer of it, and my horses don't know how to offer it to me. It's a bit like being up a creek without a paddle.
Maggie is eternally helpful and I know we will eventually get there. But when she watches me clumsily trot my way around the arena with hands too low and legs to wiggly I'm sure she probably feels more hopeless than I do! When I hear, "Half-halt and push him up under you!" I try my darndest, I really do, but when Panda gives me a quizzical response (or complete lack thereof) I have to turn to her and ask her if this book is fact or fiction! When we achieve even mild success, be sure, you will know. Until then... I could really use all the help I can get!
I'm not sure if I've expressed my love for jumping but if you aren't aware of it let me try to spell it out for you. I love jumping like Santa loves good little boys and girls. I love jumping like Harry Potter loves to get himself into mortal peril. I love jumping like boys doing no-shave-November love their beards. I love jumping like ET loves to phone home, like girls in the 80's loved big hair and mom jeans (those should never EVER come back by the way), like Miley Cyrus loves wearing granny panties in music videos, and like candy deprived little kids love to go trick-or-treating. It's legit.
I have a background of jumping, but that is only 1/3 of the skill I need to successfully make it through a 3 day event. Cross Country isn't so much a new skill to learn as more bravery and miles to acquire. I have never done it before but in essence the idea is the same as in the jumper ring with a few more hiccups along the way. Many of these hiccups are meant to try the horse or the horse and rider combo rather than just the rider.
Where I am lost beyond recognition, and where Maggie truly comes in, is this dressage thing. For those of you who don't know what dressage is, open up a new tab (do it now), go to Google, and type in "Grand Prix Dressage." Go ahead. Watch the whole 6 minute test. See how the horse prances and does movements I couldn't even attempt on my own without a horse in my wildest dreams? See how the rider is motionless? And how the horse's head and neck are beautifully muscled and arched? Yeah, that's what I have to learn how to do. Minus the prancing, the ballet moves, and anything else that makes you go "WOW!"
The main thing I have to learn is how to teach my horse to carry itself well. This includes a good head and neck carriage and a rounded back. I'm not sure if this is a battle I'm ready to begin to fight! For starters, I've never had a dressage lesson (granted, flatwork is all dressage and I've had plenty of flatwork lessons, but nothing more). Then, I'm riding horses that are green. Marvel barely knows how to get from point A to point B without tripping over his hooves and Panda is as unbalanced as a top losing momentum. Cash is on a whole different path so he isn't even a pawn in this game! So I don't know how to ask for this frame, I don't know what it feels like were I to catch a glimmer of it, and my horses don't know how to offer it to me. It's a bit like being up a creek without a paddle.
Maggie is eternally helpful and I know we will eventually get there. But when she watches me clumsily trot my way around the arena with hands too low and legs to wiggly I'm sure she probably feels more hopeless than I do! When I hear, "Half-halt and push him up under you!" I try my darndest, I really do, but when Panda gives me a quizzical response (or complete lack thereof) I have to turn to her and ask her if this book is fact or fiction! When we achieve even mild success, be sure, you will know. Until then... I could really use all the help I can get!
 |
| NOT a dressage frame. |
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Tips From the (Muddy) Red Carpet
Hipsters, Emo, Country, Rocker, Gangster, Fratty, Sorority Girl, Young Professional, Business Casual, Beach Bum. These are just a few of the styles we can all recognize in 2013. As with all public places, at the barn there are fashion do's and don'ts. Unlike other places, these have arisen out of necessity rather than out of a bored young lady's mind who is trying to make her name famous.
The first look I would like to bring to the table is "Rainy Day Chique." For the top we've got a nice, loose fitting t-shirt. The holes in the armpits and near the bottom middle of the front make this a useful and trendy pick. Humidity is terrible so ventilation is a must. You will notice Rainy Day Chique's jeans have pre-stained dirt streaks running up and down the thighs. No need to worry about a towel, a wash room, or staining the jeans yourself, these jeans have it all for you. A good slip and fall only blends right in with what these jeans already have to offer. Finally, footwear. This gorgeous outfit can be paired with not one, but two different shoe choices. The first is a classic ventilated pair of Crocs. Water might be able to go in but it can also flow right back out. If you've ever thought about a mud bath for your feet this is a choice that blends fashion and usefulness. The other great option is the Rain Boot. Not at all a small shoe, their tell-tale squeak when you walk is highly sought after.
The next look that needs some attention is "Carefree Sunny Day." This gorgeous look includes a brightly colored sports bra paired flawlessly with a paw-print stained tank. Not too loose, and not too tight, this tank is fantastic for showing off those awkward sweat marks that tend to develop after a good ride, stall cleaning, or 90+ degree day. If a ride is in the plans, a tan, stained pair of breeches can compliment the paw-prints that can be found on the tank. If chores are the name of the game some good shorts that show off the beautiful snow white skin of your legs is a must. Either way, be sure to pair both pant options with some grandmother panties so that the lines are quite obvious and visible. Shoes can be left to the wearer's choice. Pair this look with eau de deodorant/horse poo and you've got a finished look that can't be beaten.
Winter fashions should not be swept under the rug just because 7/8 of the year is hot. "Snug Bundles Aplicque" is a carefully planned outfit. Snug Bundles' top consists of many, MANY layers. So much so that with any stimulus, sweat instantly accumulates. The under layers aren't a huge concern other than the fact that you should always start with smallest first and work your way up. The jacket is characterized by being rain proof, thick, reflective, and particularly drab. Nothing says "don't look at me" like a poop brown or camo jacket. Pants are generally fleece lined and not at all warm enough. Shoes include any kind of boot paired with wool socks, preferably knitted by your great grandmother. The positives about cooler weather is accessorizing! Don't forget mittens/gloves that completely inhibit your ability to buckle things such as halters, bridles, and even girths and stall door latches. Ear warming headbands are a fancy invention that keep your head from freezing off. They also make you need a whole new "winter only" helmet because they enlarge your head by inches at a time.
There are many different varieties of each option. Barn fashion is characterized by the freedom to accessorize and adapt which is what so many up-and-coming barn fashionistas love. These looks are guaranteed to attract stares anywhere BUT the barn. Rest assured people are wondering things like, "Where can I get an outfit like that?" and "Who is she wearing? Those grass stains are so tastefully done!" So don't fret when the lady behind you in the grocery line can't look away. That's when you know you've hit it big.
The first look I would like to bring to the table is "Rainy Day Chique." For the top we've got a nice, loose fitting t-shirt. The holes in the armpits and near the bottom middle of the front make this a useful and trendy pick. Humidity is terrible so ventilation is a must. You will notice Rainy Day Chique's jeans have pre-stained dirt streaks running up and down the thighs. No need to worry about a towel, a wash room, or staining the jeans yourself, these jeans have it all for you. A good slip and fall only blends right in with what these jeans already have to offer. Finally, footwear. This gorgeous outfit can be paired with not one, but two different shoe choices. The first is a classic ventilated pair of Crocs. Water might be able to go in but it can also flow right back out. If you've ever thought about a mud bath for your feet this is a choice that blends fashion and usefulness. The other great option is the Rain Boot. Not at all a small shoe, their tell-tale squeak when you walk is highly sought after.
The next look that needs some attention is "Carefree Sunny Day." This gorgeous look includes a brightly colored sports bra paired flawlessly with a paw-print stained tank. Not too loose, and not too tight, this tank is fantastic for showing off those awkward sweat marks that tend to develop after a good ride, stall cleaning, or 90+ degree day. If a ride is in the plans, a tan, stained pair of breeches can compliment the paw-prints that can be found on the tank. If chores are the name of the game some good shorts that show off the beautiful snow white skin of your legs is a must. Either way, be sure to pair both pant options with some grandmother panties so that the lines are quite obvious and visible. Shoes can be left to the wearer's choice. Pair this look with eau de deodorant/horse poo and you've got a finished look that can't be beaten.
Winter fashions should not be swept under the rug just because 7/8 of the year is hot. "Snug Bundles Aplicque" is a carefully planned outfit. Snug Bundles' top consists of many, MANY layers. So much so that with any stimulus, sweat instantly accumulates. The under layers aren't a huge concern other than the fact that you should always start with smallest first and work your way up. The jacket is characterized by being rain proof, thick, reflective, and particularly drab. Nothing says "don't look at me" like a poop brown or camo jacket. Pants are generally fleece lined and not at all warm enough. Shoes include any kind of boot paired with wool socks, preferably knitted by your great grandmother. The positives about cooler weather is accessorizing! Don't forget mittens/gloves that completely inhibit your ability to buckle things such as halters, bridles, and even girths and stall door latches. Ear warming headbands are a fancy invention that keep your head from freezing off. They also make you need a whole new "winter only" helmet because they enlarge your head by inches at a time.
There are many different varieties of each option. Barn fashion is characterized by the freedom to accessorize and adapt which is what so many up-and-coming barn fashionistas love. These looks are guaranteed to attract stares anywhere BUT the barn. Rest assured people are wondering things like, "Where can I get an outfit like that?" and "Who is she wearing? Those grass stains are so tastefully done!" So don't fret when the lady behind you in the grocery line can't look away. That's when you know you've hit it big.
 |
| Barefoot is not generally a good option for these styles. |
Monday, October 14, 2013
Dream Horse... What's That?
I have officially moved out of the teenage horse obsessed little girl stage that I was once in. Don't get me wrong, I moved straight into the broke horse loving adult stage which is arguably more detrimental to many more aspects of my life, so all is not lost. Today I was missing the simpler times. A lot has changed in the last ten years and not all for the better.
As that little girl who was so horse obsessed I led my Grand Champions around the house like full sized horses, ANY horse would do. I wasn't picky when I asked my dad for a horse. The thing could've been 35 yrs old and dead cripple and I would've been screaming and shouting thanks at the top of my lungs. The teenage me obviously did want a rideable horse but even that girl was not going to be excruciatingly picky.
Color didn't matter, age didn't matter, and there was a time in my life when discipline didn't matter either. I browsed the internet looking at horses for sale. I found them everywhere; Saddlebreds in Tennessee, Thoroughbreds in Kentucky, Quarter Horses in Texas, Morgans in North Carolina, jumpers, reiners, ropers, saddle seat horses. I didn't have a price range because, at that point, even a free horse was out of my price range. I had just gained access to the internet so I definitely couldn't drive or work! I obviously hadn't worked out logistics like how to get that Thoroughbred from Kentucky to Texas or where I was going to keep this newly acquired horse or how I was going to ride it since the only piece of equipment I owned at that point was a foal halter given to me by my grandmother's boyfriend.
Now when you sit me down and talk about horses my whole demeanor has changed. I suppose I was operating under the idea "beggars can't be choosers" in my younger years and technically, that's still the mentality I need to have (seeing as I haven't yet started my first day at my million dollar per year job). A goal, a job, and quite a bit of knowledge have narrowed my options from ALL OF THEM, to a very small corner of the market.
Don't get me wrong, I love the boys and am expecting them to go far, but the prestige of an $800 horse is lost on most people, myself included sometimes. There's something about not coughing up a house payment or 10 that makes you wonder if your horse is going to be able to do the job. Please don't take this as me being snobby, I have never had the financial capability to even dream of spending a small fortune (or over $2k) on a four legged accident prone beast with a mind of its own. I sincerely love the idea of the "diamond in the rough" horse and I think there are plenty out there who are more athletic than their current owner gives them credit for.
More than the money aspect, my dream is to buy a horse with good breeding, fantastic conformation, preferably a cool breed or at least a fancy looking Thoroughbred and never again have to worry about the athletic capabilities of my horse. I also don't ever want to worry about lameness, colic, cuts, or other things of that nature. Then I realize that no matter how much you pay for a horse, those things are always going to be worries. A $50,000 horse doesn't know it's any different than a $500 horse and wouldn't care if you were to tell it. I've heard plenty of horror stories of a perfectly healthy horse bowing it's tendon within a month of purchase, or having to undergo colic surgery, or being out of commission due to a bad cut in the pasture. Or what about the horse that has no health problems but you just don't get along with it? No one has enough money to guarantee impeccable health, no one.
So I've decided there is no such thing as a dream horse, per se. There are dream circumstances and amazing horses but you can't blame the circumstances on the horse or the horse on the circumstances. Everyone will have that time in their lives (if you stay in the sport long enough) where the horse and the timing just match up perfectly and you ride the cloud of euphoria as far as it can take you and hope that you are lucky enough to find that again.
Until then a quick description of my dream horse might look something like this:
Short cannon bones, well proportioned all around with a bit longer legs, good hock angles, straight legs, medium length back, soft eye, refined bone structure in the face, well proportioned ears, Irish Sport Horse, mare, 3-4 yrs old, and either bay, black or grey (but not fleabitten grey) with some chrome and an extra cool face marking.
I think that I am dreaming of a horse that, right now, exceeds my capabilities. I haven't started to compete at events yet and I am not an Olympian by any stretch at this point in my life. I don't NEED a horse that will take me 4' easy. Not yet. I need to ride the roller coaster that is the boys and learn as much as I can.
...And save up a pretty penny for that dream horse in the sky!
As that little girl who was so horse obsessed I led my Grand Champions around the house like full sized horses, ANY horse would do. I wasn't picky when I asked my dad for a horse. The thing could've been 35 yrs old and dead cripple and I would've been screaming and shouting thanks at the top of my lungs. The teenage me obviously did want a rideable horse but even that girl was not going to be excruciatingly picky.
Color didn't matter, age didn't matter, and there was a time in my life when discipline didn't matter either. I browsed the internet looking at horses for sale. I found them everywhere; Saddlebreds in Tennessee, Thoroughbreds in Kentucky, Quarter Horses in Texas, Morgans in North Carolina, jumpers, reiners, ropers, saddle seat horses. I didn't have a price range because, at that point, even a free horse was out of my price range. I had just gained access to the internet so I definitely couldn't drive or work! I obviously hadn't worked out logistics like how to get that Thoroughbred from Kentucky to Texas or where I was going to keep this newly acquired horse or how I was going to ride it since the only piece of equipment I owned at that point was a foal halter given to me by my grandmother's boyfriend.
Now when you sit me down and talk about horses my whole demeanor has changed. I suppose I was operating under the idea "beggars can't be choosers" in my younger years and technically, that's still the mentality I need to have (seeing as I haven't yet started my first day at my million dollar per year job). A goal, a job, and quite a bit of knowledge have narrowed my options from ALL OF THEM, to a very small corner of the market.
Don't get me wrong, I love the boys and am expecting them to go far, but the prestige of an $800 horse is lost on most people, myself included sometimes. There's something about not coughing up a house payment or 10 that makes you wonder if your horse is going to be able to do the job. Please don't take this as me being snobby, I have never had the financial capability to even dream of spending a small fortune (or over $2k) on a four legged accident prone beast with a mind of its own. I sincerely love the idea of the "diamond in the rough" horse and I think there are plenty out there who are more athletic than their current owner gives them credit for.
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| Who's to say how much potential he has just by looking at him? |
More than the money aspect, my dream is to buy a horse with good breeding, fantastic conformation, preferably a cool breed or at least a fancy looking Thoroughbred and never again have to worry about the athletic capabilities of my horse. I also don't ever want to worry about lameness, colic, cuts, or other things of that nature. Then I realize that no matter how much you pay for a horse, those things are always going to be worries. A $50,000 horse doesn't know it's any different than a $500 horse and wouldn't care if you were to tell it. I've heard plenty of horror stories of a perfectly healthy horse bowing it's tendon within a month of purchase, or having to undergo colic surgery, or being out of commission due to a bad cut in the pasture. Or what about the horse that has no health problems but you just don't get along with it? No one has enough money to guarantee impeccable health, no one.
So I've decided there is no such thing as a dream horse, per se. There are dream circumstances and amazing horses but you can't blame the circumstances on the horse or the horse on the circumstances. Everyone will have that time in their lives (if you stay in the sport long enough) where the horse and the timing just match up perfectly and you ride the cloud of euphoria as far as it can take you and hope that you are lucky enough to find that again.
Until then a quick description of my dream horse might look something like this:
Short cannon bones, well proportioned all around with a bit longer legs, good hock angles, straight legs, medium length back, soft eye, refined bone structure in the face, well proportioned ears, Irish Sport Horse, mare, 3-4 yrs old, and either bay, black or grey (but not fleabitten grey) with some chrome and an extra cool face marking.
I think that I am dreaming of a horse that, right now, exceeds my capabilities. I haven't started to compete at events yet and I am not an Olympian by any stretch at this point in my life. I don't NEED a horse that will take me 4' easy. Not yet. I need to ride the roller coaster that is the boys and learn as much as I can.
...And save up a pretty penny for that dream horse in the sky!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Don't Let the Rain Get You Down
If you read my previous post entitled "Where to Start?!" you know how I feel about the weatherman. If you didn't I'll sum it up: he's a buzz killing liar. No matter what my feelings are, he has made a prediction for the next week that includes rain in 6 out of the 7 days. While I'm guessing we might get a good day or two if we're lucky, I've prepared a list of some things that need to be done at the barn that keep getting swept under the rug in favor of riding time. I bet we all have a few honey-dos that we might be able to capitalize on during a good rainy week!
1. Strip stalls - This is never fun. You're throwing yourself into ankle deep pony excrement. You might as well open a bottle of ammonia in your car in the summer with the windows up and let the gagging ensue. The best part is, the pony is frolicking in straight mud, and by frolicking I mean rolling. A lot. So you're doing all this work, only to have to do more work when you're done. Then, the next day, those stinkin' ponies will have pooed again! The nerve.
2. Clean Tack - I've got good intentions almost every day to clean tack. When I stop thinking it needs to be done, you know we've got problems. But good intentions never a bridle cleaned. So many things sound more appealing than cleaning tack though! Riding, talking, sitting in my camp chair letting flies poop on me, browsing for spurs on my EBay ap in that same camping chair, and heck, even cleaning stalls. This week I'll have so much time to browse EBay I'll know every piece of horse equipment on there and when the bidding ends. The weather will be cool and the time will be endless. (I'm sure there are other things that might magically be able to capture my attention and make me forget all about tack cleaning...)
3. Grooming - Time to use both curry combs, all three soft brushes, hoof lotion and oil, thrush buster, clippers, Cowboy Magic, and fly spray. And then after all that immobilize the horses in the middle of their stalls and insert a feeding tube, catheter and colostomy bag so they stay beautiful...
4. Practicing Braiding - The first step here will actually be to LEARN the braiding. But with a whole week (ahem, RIGHT Mr. Weatherman?) of rain surely I'll have some time to perfect my newly acquired skill!
5. Pulling Manes - Right along side braiding, I'll need to do some mane pulling. Panda's mane is going Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on me. It used to lie all on one side but I'll show up and it's split right down the middle and the next day just the tip top is peeking over the wrong side. I did kind of a quick hack job when he first arrived to get him looking the part of new eventer in training anyway. It's got to be fixed!
6. Organizing the Tack Trunk - The other day I was asked if someone could borrow my hoof pick. I wound up explaining where it was like this, "It's in the red tack trunk under my saddle. Not the off red trunk, but the other one. I'm pretty sure it's not in the black one. When you go in there it's probably under the 2 baby pads, next to the hoof polish. If it's not there, dig down about 2 more inches and it'll be in between the 6 broken pairs of bell boots and the dried out set of reins I'm terrified to use." Don't ask why I've got broken equipment. You never know... I may have a slight hoarder mentality.
7. Planning out the Next Few Months of Training - I need to take a quick peek into my 101 Exercises books and sit down with a piece of paper and pen (or an excel spread sheet) and figure out who needs what exercise the most. I need to figure out who I'm riding on what day. I really need to analyze how much time I truly have each day and what is a plausible amount of time to spend at the barn (all day is not an option at this point no matter how tempting it sounds). There are things at home that just need to get done. Like my mom always used to say, "The floor doesn't sweep itself!" Unfortunately that wasn't just a ploy to get me to do my chores, it's actually true.
That's a halfway decent list to start on. I'm sure each person can add a bit to this list but for now, those are my basics and also my must-dos. Hopefully with a little more time on my hands my house might get a little cleaning too!
1. Strip stalls - This is never fun. You're throwing yourself into ankle deep pony excrement. You might as well open a bottle of ammonia in your car in the summer with the windows up and let the gagging ensue. The best part is, the pony is frolicking in straight mud, and by frolicking I mean rolling. A lot. So you're doing all this work, only to have to do more work when you're done. Then, the next day, those stinkin' ponies will have pooed again! The nerve.
2. Clean Tack - I've got good intentions almost every day to clean tack. When I stop thinking it needs to be done, you know we've got problems. But good intentions never a bridle cleaned. So many things sound more appealing than cleaning tack though! Riding, talking, sitting in my camp chair letting flies poop on me, browsing for spurs on my EBay ap in that same camping chair, and heck, even cleaning stalls. This week I'll have so much time to browse EBay I'll know every piece of horse equipment on there and when the bidding ends. The weather will be cool and the time will be endless. (I'm sure there are other things that might magically be able to capture my attention and make me forget all about tack cleaning...)
3. Grooming - Time to use both curry combs, all three soft brushes, hoof lotion and oil, thrush buster, clippers, Cowboy Magic, and fly spray. And then after all that immobilize the horses in the middle of their stalls and insert a feeding tube, catheter and colostomy bag so they stay beautiful...
4. Practicing Braiding - The first step here will actually be to LEARN the braiding. But with a whole week (ahem, RIGHT Mr. Weatherman?) of rain surely I'll have some time to perfect my newly acquired skill!
5. Pulling Manes - Right along side braiding, I'll need to do some mane pulling. Panda's mane is going Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on me. It used to lie all on one side but I'll show up and it's split right down the middle and the next day just the tip top is peeking over the wrong side. I did kind of a quick hack job when he first arrived to get him looking the part of new eventer in training anyway. It's got to be fixed!
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| Panda's mane. Mainly behaving today. |
6. Organizing the Tack Trunk - The other day I was asked if someone could borrow my hoof pick. I wound up explaining where it was like this, "It's in the red tack trunk under my saddle. Not the off red trunk, but the other one. I'm pretty sure it's not in the black one. When you go in there it's probably under the 2 baby pads, next to the hoof polish. If it's not there, dig down about 2 more inches and it'll be in between the 6 broken pairs of bell boots and the dried out set of reins I'm terrified to use." Don't ask why I've got broken equipment. You never know... I may have a slight hoarder mentality.
7. Planning out the Next Few Months of Training - I need to take a quick peek into my 101 Exercises books and sit down with a piece of paper and pen (or an excel spread sheet) and figure out who needs what exercise the most. I need to figure out who I'm riding on what day. I really need to analyze how much time I truly have each day and what is a plausible amount of time to spend at the barn (all day is not an option at this point no matter how tempting it sounds). There are things at home that just need to get done. Like my mom always used to say, "The floor doesn't sweep itself!" Unfortunately that wasn't just a ploy to get me to do my chores, it's actually true.
That's a halfway decent list to start on. I'm sure each person can add a bit to this list but for now, those are my basics and also my must-dos. Hopefully with a little more time on my hands my house might get a little cleaning too!
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Where to Start?!
This morning I had a mini meltdown. It wasn't so mini as it was overly dramatic. I was close to tears and puppy kicking due to a terrible mix of a 14+ hour work day/night, lack of a nap (or much sleep), no rain, and no plan. I hit the sheets at about 4:30 am and woke up bright and early at 8:30, which my dogs will tell you, that is sleeping in. After convincing myself to lay in bed for an extra half hour I hopped up and Kiba and I took a trip out to the barn.
The weatherman has led us to believe we are about to enter monsoon season with much enthusiasm. For over a week the forecast has convinced us that Saturday is the day heaven's flood gates will reign down water like Niagra Falls has never seen, that thunder and lightning will ensue and we will be stuck inside for fear of becoming a human lightning rod, and this torrential downpour will last a full week. This has proven to be not so much untrue as an outright, blatant lie. This morning, as I made my groggy way to the barn in the 100% humidity, there were maybe three clouds in the sky. Yet when I checked my handy dandy weather ap on my phone it basically shouted at me, "STOP CHECKING ME. IT'S GOING TO RAIN, LIKE, ANY MOMENT NOW. JUST BE PATIENT."
I mentioned I was cranky partly because I didn't have a plan. That's untrue. I was cranky because my plan was to wake up several times in the middle of the night with terrified dogs in my bed because of the loud crashes of thunder outside. It was to let them outside to go potty and have 2 feet of water pour into my house from the 24 inches of rain we had received in the 4 hours since I went to sleep. It was to be forced to stay inside and do all of the things I haven't been able to do because the beautiful weather outside has been calling my name. It did come with the backup plan of, "If it, for some crazy reason, ISN'T raining when I wake up, I'll sneak out to the barn to ride before this week of El Nino."
So the conclusion we can all draw is that I had to go to the backup plan of riding this morning because the only water outside was the humidity you could almost see hanging in the air. The other conclusion some might draw is that the weatherman was receiving a vast majority of my ill intended wishes. As I arrived at the barn, after picking up feed and supplements, it was almost 10. There were errands to run, lunch to eat, and the ever important nap to attempt and yet again fail at. I wanted to be home by noon but with three horses to ride and feed and stalls to clean it was inevitably impossible.
Why am I boring you with this story of my unimportantly busy day, you are probably asking? Because today I had to realize something. I will probably continue to have to realize this same thing a few more times for it to sink in, but it was monumental that I even grasped this concept. I can't do everything. While that seems really basic and kind of dumb, which is true, I have obviously been missing the idea that I am only one person.
I have these huge plans for the boys. Shows, trailering/traveling, clinics, ribbons, training rides, lessons, exercise schedules, perfect health (for me and them), abundant time, etc. I took a huge breath today and asked myself, "Does it REALLY matter if Panda is the only horse I ride today?" And then some voice somewhere, cause believe me it wasn't mine, mine would never say this, answered me, "No! It totally doesn't. Relax!" I've been in such a hurry to pick up where I left off 6 years ago that I've unknowingly been taking it out on the boys and myself. A misstep here, a poor jump there and I feel like my plans and world are falling down.
Please don't misunderstand me, I have huge plans still. And I also think we all know that if each horse got ridden every day we would move forward a lot faster and be ready sooner. But if the boys are all ready to show next month that still leaves the problem of the trailer, the money to show, the shows to enter, the equipment I am lacking, my trainer's time, etc. Those are huge and important necessities in this game we call horse showing. I want to be great, and I desire nothing less than greatness for the horses too, but if our path to greatness takes a few days off every now and then to allow me, the trainer/rider/groom/crazy lady with the dreams/stall cleaner/mom, to have a moment of peace and accomplish the other things in life that continue to pile up, then so be it. Unfortunately I am not a professional rider or stay at home horse mom so that I can devote every waking hour to my passion. Not yet.
I need to realize that just because my dream isn't happening or accomplished tomorrow doesn't mean I'm failing. It's going to take a long time, longer than a few days or even a few months or years. So unless I want my goal in life to be making it to Target to get Jesse a new dog bed and filling my car up with gas, it will not be plausible to accomplish it tomorrow. In Denny Emerson's book, "How Good Riders Get Good" he talks about making choices that continue to get you closer and closer to your end goal. Those are things I can accomplish daily or weekly and those are the things I need to look at to be reassured that I'm on the right path.
"The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step." If you don't ever start you won't ever get there.
The weatherman has led us to believe we are about to enter monsoon season with much enthusiasm. For over a week the forecast has convinced us that Saturday is the day heaven's flood gates will reign down water like Niagra Falls has never seen, that thunder and lightning will ensue and we will be stuck inside for fear of becoming a human lightning rod, and this torrential downpour will last a full week. This has proven to be not so much untrue as an outright, blatant lie. This morning, as I made my groggy way to the barn in the 100% humidity, there were maybe three clouds in the sky. Yet when I checked my handy dandy weather ap on my phone it basically shouted at me, "STOP CHECKING ME. IT'S GOING TO RAIN, LIKE, ANY MOMENT NOW. JUST BE PATIENT."
I mentioned I was cranky partly because I didn't have a plan. That's untrue. I was cranky because my plan was to wake up several times in the middle of the night with terrified dogs in my bed because of the loud crashes of thunder outside. It was to let them outside to go potty and have 2 feet of water pour into my house from the 24 inches of rain we had received in the 4 hours since I went to sleep. It was to be forced to stay inside and do all of the things I haven't been able to do because the beautiful weather outside has been calling my name. It did come with the backup plan of, "If it, for some crazy reason, ISN'T raining when I wake up, I'll sneak out to the barn to ride before this week of El Nino."
So the conclusion we can all draw is that I had to go to the backup plan of riding this morning because the only water outside was the humidity you could almost see hanging in the air. The other conclusion some might draw is that the weatherman was receiving a vast majority of my ill intended wishes. As I arrived at the barn, after picking up feed and supplements, it was almost 10. There were errands to run, lunch to eat, and the ever important nap to attempt and yet again fail at. I wanted to be home by noon but with three horses to ride and feed and stalls to clean it was inevitably impossible.
Why am I boring you with this story of my unimportantly busy day, you are probably asking? Because today I had to realize something. I will probably continue to have to realize this same thing a few more times for it to sink in, but it was monumental that I even grasped this concept. I can't do everything. While that seems really basic and kind of dumb, which is true, I have obviously been missing the idea that I am only one person.
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| Dreaming of a rainy day! |
I have these huge plans for the boys. Shows, trailering/traveling, clinics, ribbons, training rides, lessons, exercise schedules, perfect health (for me and them), abundant time, etc. I took a huge breath today and asked myself, "Does it REALLY matter if Panda is the only horse I ride today?" And then some voice somewhere, cause believe me it wasn't mine, mine would never say this, answered me, "No! It totally doesn't. Relax!" I've been in such a hurry to pick up where I left off 6 years ago that I've unknowingly been taking it out on the boys and myself. A misstep here, a poor jump there and I feel like my plans and world are falling down.
Please don't misunderstand me, I have huge plans still. And I also think we all know that if each horse got ridden every day we would move forward a lot faster and be ready sooner. But if the boys are all ready to show next month that still leaves the problem of the trailer, the money to show, the shows to enter, the equipment I am lacking, my trainer's time, etc. Those are huge and important necessities in this game we call horse showing. I want to be great, and I desire nothing less than greatness for the horses too, but if our path to greatness takes a few days off every now and then to allow me, the trainer/rider/groom/crazy lady with the dreams/stall cleaner/mom, to have a moment of peace and accomplish the other things in life that continue to pile up, then so be it. Unfortunately I am not a professional rider or stay at home horse mom so that I can devote every waking hour to my passion. Not yet.
 |
| Gotta start somewhere! |
I need to realize that just because my dream isn't happening or accomplished tomorrow doesn't mean I'm failing. It's going to take a long time, longer than a few days or even a few months or years. So unless I want my goal in life to be making it to Target to get Jesse a new dog bed and filling my car up with gas, it will not be plausible to accomplish it tomorrow. In Denny Emerson's book, "How Good Riders Get Good" he talks about making choices that continue to get you closer and closer to your end goal. Those are things I can accomplish daily or weekly and those are the things I need to look at to be reassured that I'm on the right path.
"The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step." If you don't ever start you won't ever get there.
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