Long time no post. I know I know. If you've heard one excuse you've heard them all but mine nowadays is that I hardly have time to breathe let alone post. Or make halfway decent grades, or sleep, or take showers on a regular basis. I wish I were exaggerating. I may be in over my head, but that is not an admission. I have decided to go about figuring out how busy is too busy.
I find myself forgetting things, needing to make excessively long lists that are overly repetitive, and getting easily frustrated and flustered when things don't go according to plan. I'm becoming like my mom who tells the same story three times because I've lost so much track of my day I don't even remember when the last time I saw you was. Early onset Alzheimer's or a case of toobusyitis? I'm not about to go to the doctor for them to stick me in a nut house (those don't have horses or dogs so you see my dilemma).
Something MIGHT have to give but before we start talking about dropping something and how many flavors of Ramen do they make and is it enough to get you through a month I thought a little analysis was in order.
I work. I know, "Yay! Congratulations me!" But seriously, I do that money making thing. While food stamps and free ObamaPhones with a black market doctor (yeah that's right, this post just got political) sound SUPER enticing I'm not sure Dover or State Line Tack accept food stamps as a form of payment and if they did, I'm not sure how many food "stamps" I'd have to save up to buy that cross country saddle I have my eye on. Also, I KNOW the whole governmental health care thing did not account for people who put themselves at risk daily by riding spooky ponies in now pitch black arenas. I'd be the first person they would decide not to cover; not that my three part time jobs offer me any sort of healthcare anyway now that we're mentioning it. They do, however, pay the bills which is crucial to this thing called living. Can't really cut those job things...
So there's always school, right?! Except that I love school. I want to be in school. To get the job I want (before owning my own barn and business) I need to stay in school. I have three classes before I graduate with my associates in Criminal Justice. Oh yeah, and the number one motivating factor: it keeps me from paying back my loans. Believe me, paying for a semester at Blinn SUCKS, but it is less sucky than watching your rent payment get taken out of your bank account, and then watching your loans follow shortly after in an amount as much or more than your rent. Remind me, this school thing, it was a good idea right? Cause right now, after having about 15 different jobs throughout my life, I haven't really seen the benefits play out like they told me they would. School will be over in May but then what? Anyway, it's too late to drop out now!
In case we've lost count thus far, I've only written 2 paragraphs about my extra and not so extra curricular activities. I would like to point out, for the record and for those that don't have enough fingers to count on, that 3 jobs plus 4 classes is more than 2 things to keep me busy.
Then there are the animals. If I haven't made it very clear, they are important to me. Without the dogs I might have more time, yell less, scare less neighbors, wear more black shirts, buy less lint rollers, clean up less pee and vomit, sweep less, and pick less hair out of my morning cereal (ok, that one might be an exaggeration) but I wouldn't be as happy. They keep me humble, teach me patience, love me unconditionally, and definitely cover me in hair, which I have yet to discover where the positive lies in that. Without the horses I would spend less money (this is debatable, just look at my closet and clothes bill before the horses. It's really unfortunately comparable), eat less dirt, be less sore, and probably weigh an extra ten pounds. But without them I'd sit at home and yell more often at the dogs for covering me in hair! It all evens out.
On top of these huge time eaters there are friends, boyfriend, dreams, goals, aspirations, errands, plans, cleaning, cooking, more dreaming, and then the occasional night of rest here and there. It's exhausting just thinking about it. Yet I'm still the person who has 30 minutes on the couch and wonders what I forgot and how many of the calories from the granola bar I'm eating are going straight to my hindquarters.
So far I've succeeded only in completely wasting your time for reading this post, my time for writing it, and the internet's vast and expansive storage space. What I'd like to hammer home is that we're all busy. My mom once tried to teach me about priorities and keeping your word and that must've sunk in a little bit because everything I've committed to, I'm doing. Soon I will get a break and I'll be just as stressed out as I am right now but instead of because I have no time, it'll be because I have too much time and not enough things to fill it with. I'm that girl. Ms "Grass is Always Greener." I just gotta take a page out of the animal's book and live in the moment. They don't care about anything but what's going on right now. While that may end up being a dangerous way to live your whole life, there's a delicate and necessary balance between planning and enjoying the time you've got now. I tend to waste the present time worrying and planning the next few hours. You can't get the present time back and you may never make it to the future so find a way to enjoy what you're given. And if someone could remind me of that every 3 minutes that would be great too!
No comments:
Post a Comment