Friday, November 22, 2013

All I Want For Christmas is a Pony. That's It. Seriously.

Christmas is right around the corner. Now you are on your toes and your ears are pricked to find Christmas gifts the fam will love. Well, if you are reading this post I'm guessing that either you, or someone in your immediate family is very interested in a four-legged companion of the equine variety. Many children receive their first horse as a well intended Christmas gift. Besides being overly and excruciatingly jealous, and whether or not your first horse comes at Christmas or on June 6th (an ambiguous day of the year I hope), I have some pointers for you that will hopefully help you through this exciting and financially draining time in your life.


The biggest problem with Christmas horses is that mom and dad (or boyfriend or husband) are doing the looking while rider is sitting at home sulking due to lack of horse. While intentions are totally awesome, this is NOT a good way to find someone a horse. Most people don't realize that a horse and rider have to get along much like spouses. They will have their bad days, they will end a ride not on speaking terms, they will make mistakes, but they will also have amazing good days. You need to find a horse to match the rider so that their bad days are few and far between. It is really best if the prospective horse owner can ride the horse themselves at least one time. A good rider can adapt to and ride pretty much any horse well enough. A great rider knows when it's not a good match and passes along the horse to someone better suited for them.

So this topic leads me right in to buying the horse. Let's say, for posterity's sake, that this is not a Christmas horse, or it is and the rider knows. This is your first horse and while you may ride Tonto REALLY well (I mean come on, everyone says you do, even your trainer), you need to be realistic about your abilities and the horse that you need. You'd be surprised how old Tonto is (What, 25?!), how many miles that age comes with (ridden 4-6 times a week for 10 years), and how forgiving Tonto is of your mistakes ("I know, I know, you kicked me with your right foot but you really want me to slow down and turn right. It's ok. I've got you."). What I'm saying is, use a trainer. Always. Reading between the lines of a Craig's List add is beyond confusing and you simply don't know the right questions to ask at this point. A horse trader will smell you coming from the instant you start dialing their phone number and you'll come home with a two legged 55 year old horse being convinced that it once competed in the Olympics.

A trainer will know to ask the right questions. When you see an ad for a "Well broke, 2 year old, OTTB. Rides Western and English. Owned for 6 months. Good feet. Kid broke," can you spot the glaring questions that need to be asked? For starters, OTTB means off the track Thoroughbred. Horses begin racing at 2 or 3. After a horse is done racing he has a 6-8 month "let down period" to cool off from the craziness of track life. So the question I'd start with is, how has this horse raced AND had the time to be well broke? The next thing is that Thoroughbreds are widely known to not be easy keepers. So this means food and feet. What does good feet mean to this person? Then there are other things that weren't mentioned. What does this horse eat? Will you ride it for me before I get on (if they say no, don't ride it)? Where do you keep it? Is it good with other horses? What are its past injuries? The list goes on. Did you think of those questions? Most reputable people won't let a beginner come try their horse without a trainer.


I know first time horse owner doesn't always correspond to beginner rider. But in a vast number of cases that's exactly what it means. I am about to break your heart. Very rarely does it work out that you, as a green rider, obtain a green horse, and learn the ways of the horse world together. If it does work out, awesome. Good for you. But that's a huge risk to be taking. Let's say you opt for the $300 green horse over the $2000 broke horse the trainer suggested. You simply don't have the experience to improve this horse's skills in any way. So when you decide this horse is running all over you and is not a good match you've already spent a few months of board, already probably hit the ground a few times, hopefully haven't had too many medical bills, and already gotten attached to the horse. Not to mention the fact that now the horse has developed bad habits that someone else has to deal with. You'll be lucky to get out from under this horse for $100. And now you're out money, emotions, and a horse to boot. If your trainer likes a horse and it is within your price range, listen. You may see a lot of ads for $100-$600 horses but they come with a lot of baggage. Baggage that you really aren't capable of dealing with right off the bat. Spend the money and ENJOY your horse. The worst thing in the world is to see a person scared of their own horse.

Age matters. Color doesn't. Breed kind of does. Again, assuming the beginner nature of the rider, don't buy a 2 year old. And very rarely would I recommend buying anything younger than a 9 year old. Let me tell you right now, there are horses competing at the top levels at 17 and 18 years old. You probably aren't headed there on this horse. 9, 10, 15 are great ages. The horse has calmed down. He realizes that life isn't full of scary surprises around every corner. He's got more miles on him and more experience. Don't get caught up on the fact that he doesn't have the socks you wanted or he's not a paint. If this horse is a good match for you, save your dreams for horse number 2. There are some breeds that are predisposed to a better attitude. The Quarter Horse and Paint are a great first horse choice. In general they are more level headed and prepared to deal with a lot more crap from all sides. Stay away from Arabians and Thoroughbreds, they want to go fast and they are looking for any reason. Any reason at all. Yeah, that lady getting out of her car that you can barely see with the pony tail blowing in the wind is a great reason to run.

Please, at the very least, board your horse at a stable where you can enlist help. Do you know what it takes to feed a horse? Do you know what kissing spine is? How often should a horse get their coggins? What is forage and how does it play into a horse's diet? How do you clean a saddle? Did you know that water buckets need to be cleaned out about once a week (more if it's hot)? Do you have a vet you could call right now if your horse is injured? How do you deal with colic? There are so many things that you just don't know and wouldn't think to learn before it occurs and it's too late. Boarders will be helpful when you need them. The stable owner has a lot of experience. Don't underestimate that. These people will help you see things you might not pay attention to, like the fact that your horse is becoming the dominant one in the relationship or that you need to warm up before you gallop around the arena. Be willing to listen kindly and attentively to advice and don't make enemies. You never know who will be around when you need them the most.

Do you know how much this horse is going to cost? Board, feed, shoes, vet, tack, supplies, emergencies, wants, needs? What is it per month? Ok, now you've go that number at this barn. What happens if you're relocated? What are shipping fees? Are you going to take the horse or sell it and buy a new one? What does board average in different parts of the United States?


Basically, enlist help in your novice adventure. So many horse people are willing to help you and even more are willing to make a quick buck and sell you a horse on death's doorstep. They will try to convince you that your 8 year old and this one year old horse can grow old together. They're worse than used car salesmen and in this case, there's no "horsefax" to tell you the past about this horse. The people at your stable are the ones to turn to so that you get the experience you were looking for with your new best friend.

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