Monday, September 14, 2015

Balls Of Yarn

This evening I was sitting down to make some bonnets to fill several new orders I've received when I started thinking about small business taxes. Without getting too into the rabbit holes I traveled down to get to this point, I began to think about how much a ball of yarn costs and how much a bonnet costs and which of those numbers I should use as a write off if I donated bonnets.

Sounds like the start of a pretty awesome blog post to me! Taxes, supply and demand, intrinsic value. I might as well bring up religion and politics and bore everyone to death.

But really, the price of a ball of yarn is negligible compared to what some people are willing to pay for an ear bonnet. Somehow, through some skill I don't feel like is all that special, I turn a ball of yarn that costs a little bit, into a "work of art," for lack of a better word, that people will pay a lot more for.

Of course that got me thinking of the rags to riches dream we all chase. Getting a cheap horse, a "diamond in the rough," and turning it into a 1.50 m jumper or an Advanced eventer. It's a horse. You can get them for free if you look in the right spots.

Then there's the rider. Anyone is allowed to ride a horse; yay American Dream! There are plenty of instructors and lesson horses available to teach most people how to start, stop, and steer a horse.

So how in the world do we go from Buck Davidson who rides 15 horses in one event with broken ribs to my sister, who has never even sat on a horse? Aside from the sheer will power that one obviously possesses more than the other, I think the difference isn't that easy to define.

I see a ball of yarn, and I think of a useful equine accessory, while my dad sees a ball of yarn and thinks kitten toy. It's the ability you possess that makes that ball of yarn more useful than just a plain old ball of yarn.

"Ball of yarn" here can be the horse or the rider, or the pair together. If I hand my best friend a ball of yarn and tell her it's not that hard and I'll help her out in learning to make ear bonnets, she may agree to try. But if I only give her half the instructions, or zone out when she asks questions, she'll probably give up.

If I buy a ball of yarn and tell it to make itself into an ear bonnet, that really doesn't work either. Even if I give it a good shove to get the kinetic energy going, it doesn't often roll itself around into the shape of anything useful.

The same with aspiring equestrians. Almost every 4 year old in this world has the potential to be the next Reed Kessler. But if they don't want to, aren't given the opportunity to ride, don't have a good horse, don't get connected with the right instructor (you see where I'm going with this), they may never even sit on a horse's back in their life time.

Same with the horse. Who knows how many horses, with the right rider, instruction, training, life circumstances, etc. could end up at Rolex.

Both can rise above. Both "balls of yarn" can beat their circumstances and become something of value. It's just incredible to me, using this ball of yarn analogy, how many circumstances have to be just right. It' amazing to me how much goes into making it all work. The horse, and the instructor, and the money, and the shows, and the practice, and will, and health of everyone involved has to line up ever so perfectly.

The more you  do it, the more of a process it becomes. There is a definite skill to it. The term of endearment we have for my first attempt at an ear bonnet is a face blanket. It was huge, and not proportional, and kind of silly looking. Now I can make one in under two hours if I have the time. Same with professional horse people. The first time they sat on a horse they probably couldn't post and were scared to go faster than a walk. Now they can run a 9 year old horse Intermediate after having it for less than 3 years.

Some balls of yarn become kitten toys, and some become ear bonnets. Their value is determined by what you can make of them.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Six Weeks Till D-Day; Dressage Day That Is

Today, August 14, 2015, marks exactly six weeks till Panda and I enter the dressage arena at Texas Rose Horse Park and perform the most influential test of our lives. So you know, no pressure! But seriously, there will be many, much more difficult, and much more important sandbox dances to come in our career, but this one is the most important to date.

Instead of psyching me out though, it helps to put it in perspective for me. The first dressage test I ever performed back on March  22, 2014 in the Candy Cane eventing derby, was, at that moment, the hardest and most scary dressage test in my  life. Then, when I put my big girl panties on and went to my first Beginner Novice event at Pine Hill, July 5, 2014, THAT was the hardest and most important dressage test I have ever ridden. The same goes for when I rode in my first Novice event this past March and in my first recognized Beginner Novice horse trials, also in March.

When I look back to how big a deal I made out of each of those events, and how insignificant they were, I smile. I'm not embarrassed at all. Each of those events were such a big deal to me. They were giant steps outside of my comfort zone that helped me grow as a person and a rider. They all helped me to get to where I am now, qualified and entered into the American Eventing Championships. Beginner Novice or not, it's a big deal to me.

Hopefully though, remembering the bigger picture and what is possibly to come, this one simple 3 minute test in Tyler, Texas will not have me twisted in knots and beside myself with anxiety. If, one day, I want to be cantering down centerline in Kentucky, this dressage test will seem like such a tiny blip on the radar, it might get looked over.

I know though, that I will always remember it fondly as my first AECs. Every moment counts but if you lose sleep over them, it's much harder to enjoy them.


6 week look at what I'm excited for during the AECs:
Getting there.
Yup. Plain and simple. I'm excited for the road trip there and for unloading all Panda's crap and taking him for a walk. Must remember the deep breaths!

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The Countdown Has Begun

7 weeks from today I leave for the American Eventing Championships. 7 weeks from today at this time, I will be there actually. You’ll probably find me crying about something I left at home that isn’t a big deal, like toothpaste or my extra extra pair of gloves that are used only for dressage rounds ridden on a Sunday in the rain.
That’s the kind of person I am. Stress leaks through my eyeballs in the form of tears either when it is building up or when it needs to be released. So to everyone I cry on or around, I’m sorry. I really wish I could control it.
Good man
This week the name of the game is collecting sponsorships. My teammates and I are very excited to be competing in the Adult Team Challenge that will take place alongside the AECs this year. This blankets us under a non-profit status which has helped us to collect a few so far. Our team is unicorn themed and we are going all out.
Riding Warehouse has generously sponsored us with saddle pads, sparkle crops, shirts, hats and more. Uncle Jimmy’s has given us more treats than our horses can think about eating in a 4 day period of time. Mars has decided that we can/should live off of Skittles all weekend long because you can’t have unicorns without rainbows. We’ve got a few more in the works but are so incredibly grateful for the support we have already been shown!
We also got a bit crazy and made t-shirts through the Booster website. Anyone and everyone can order a t-shirt and take part in the unicorn craze we  are hoping will sweep the nation.
Apparently  my brain is all about making this next 7 weeks as long and intimidating as possible. I was dreaming that I was at the AECs. I was running late and it was almost my dressage time. My trainer asked me if I had the test memorized. To prove I did, I started spouting out, “A, enter working trot rising. C, track left…” She stopped me immediately and said that wasn’t correct. Tears. Everywhere. As I hurried to look through some sort of pamphlet that I guess was supposed to have the test illustrated in it.
As is the case with most not-so-good dreams, it was just out of reach. I never could turn to the correct page to find the test. So I decided to watch the person in front of me. She happened to be my veterinarian who is also a dressage queen. As I watched her spin 10 meter circles in our Beginner Novice dressage test, tears. All of the tears.
Good news, somehow I stayed asleep to find out I did not get eliminated. Bad news, 7 more weeks of this. Bring on the AECs!

Friday, July 24, 2015

The Route To Incredible Is Perilous

I started writing this post to avoid figuring out how to work my sewing machine. It didn't come with instructions, and I had it in my mind that if I couldn't figure it out all by myself, then it wasn't worth doing. I'd just go back to hand sewing the ears on my bonnets forever and suffer in my one person sweatshop while this technologically advanced machine sat staring me in the face.

There was one point where I felt like throwing things against the wall. Then I "took a break" to go to the barn. Both of these things happened shortly after getting the machine out of the bag and finding a plug for it, to put into perspective my level of patience with learning this new skill. I started feeling a bit guilty that I had put off finishing 3 bonnets for over two weeks because I was "trying to figure out the sewing machine," so I got back to work actually trying.

Long story short, I am not the kind of person who can do things by magic. A short YouTube clip later and I had grasped how to thread the upper and lower portions of the machine and also found out that I was making it much more difficult than it needed to be. Who would've guessed?

So what do sewing machines and horseback riding have in common, other than the fact that I'm using mine to make horse related material? Let me tell you.

Panda has been in rehab for the last 2 weeks after an injury he sustained almost a month ago. Since I can't ride him, I've been picking up some rides on other horses where I can to fill my schedule and stay sharp. I took a lesson on one of the horses from my dressage trainer last Saturday and was so excited to work with her on him when she looked at me sitting as tall and straight as I thought I possibly could and she says, "He really brings out your crookedness."

Panda and the pony who beat him up 

I was shattered. What? I mean I guess I haven't been thinking super hard about my crookedness recently, but I thought we were over that. I thought I was better than that. I thought I had aired out the skeletons in my closet. I wanted to get off and say, "Never mind then. I want to go back to the barn. I'll take a lesson when my horse is back in business." But that's the problem. I can sit a lot taller and straighter on my horse because I ride him all the time.

To become a truly good rider, you have to be able to take what you know on one horse and be able to do it on all the horses. And I don't mean get the horse on the bit and leg yield it around the arena. I mean sit tall, on your seat bones, engaging your core while staying loose in your hips and shoulders and keeping your thumbs up. You have to ride well, no matter what the horse knows. You cannot sacrifice a good position just because you're riding a green horse.

I remember a point where I would've been proud of this picture.
Now I see my hands are too low and the overarching in my back.

For an hour and a half we worked on sitting the trot and canter without stirrups. At the end I was grasping concepts, but also gasping for air. It makes the sewing machine seem a lot easier. At least for my machine, there is a 15 minute video to watch, and as long as you follow the direction, 2 + 2 always equals 4. With horses you have to explain what 2 + 2 means and they still may offer you the answer 5 sometimes. It's part of the reason horses are an addiction, but also part of the reason so many people never make it to the upper levels.

It isn't easy. You think you've got something, and then you sit on a new horse and you found out you're not as super as you thought you were. Or you find out you do have it, but there's 2,000 other concepts and subtleties you need to master in order to ride the movement correctly.

It's simple. Nothing requires acrobatics, or yoga instructor flexibility. Yet holding your wrists just right, not overarching your back, and keeping a long leg might as well be contortionist movements when you throw in the fact that you're on a horse.

Panda through the water and his first big boy event. We have a long
way to go but we've come pretty far too.

To get better, you have to either have a very good sense of humor, or the ability to go home, cry, and come back and try again. Or you have to be ok with the level you're currently riding at. There aren't many other options or ways around it. It's easy to quit. It's hard to get back on the horse and work on your skeletons when progress is nearly invisible day to day. That's why, for all the hundreds of thousands of people who ride horses in America, there are only a handful whose names you know. I want to be the handful, not the masses. And I am willing to watch the YouTube video, read the directions, get back on the horse, and develop my sense of humor in order to become the handful.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Beautiful Bonnets and Brushes

I recently decided to start a business. This was/is an interesting and somewhat scary decision for me. In bettering myself as a person this year I have discovered a lot of things. One is that I have a lot of wonderful ideas, but my follow through is sorely lacking. So I decided to begin selling my painted brushes because if I don't do it, someone else will. And there's nothing that would get under my skin more than seeing an idea I had, come to fruition with someone else at the wheel.

I came up with a name, Warm Up Ring Bling. I made a Facebook page. I took pictures of the brushes I had previously painted to post on the Facebook page. I advertised on several groups I am a part of. I was quite proud of myself for taking these steps!

Then I decided that I know how to crochet, and I felt I could make ear bonnets. So I brought my ear bonnets home to use as templates, YouTubed a LOT of how to crochet different stitches videos, and got to work. The first one was gigantic but it actually looked ok! A little tweaking and measuring and I can now pump a bonnet out in under an hour! I found a sewing machine for super cheap thanks to a friend of a friend, and I am well on my way to a one person sweat shop!

A business is an interesting entity. It does not make itself any more profitable than you make it. A Facebook page is awesome, but it is not, itself, fantastic advertising. Word of mouth is great, but it only gets so far at a barn that is not English and is filled with people who wouldn't be interested in something like that anyway. For how proud I was of myself in starting the business, keeping it going is proving to be another task in and of itself.

It takes a lot of believing. Positive thinking. Knowing that what you've got, someone else wants. In a way, I think it's a great preparation for me and my grandiose plan of owning my own barn one day. It's the idea of never give up. Never stop trying. Be flexible. A lot of things, no matter how disheartening, are not a reflection on you as a person. Success and failure are defined by you and you alone.

While I love making the brushes, they are extremely time consuming. I have recently focused a lot of my efforts on perfecting the bonnet design. They're coming along splendidly and I can now say I basically have a pattern memorized. Warm Up Ring Bling will be donating bonnets and brushes to our AEC adult team, "Always Be a Unicorn" and will also be sending bonnets all the way to Illinois for use in the hunter/jumper ring. If you are interested in a bonnet or a set of brushes for yourself, or if you know of anyone interested, please send them my way! I'm definitely becoming less shy about being a sell out for my business!  Facebook message is the best way to reach me!

This one is for Panda. Black, royal, and some bling. Representing our XC colors
in the dressage ring. 

A friend of ours liked the idea of a little color in the sandbox. Black, hot pink,
grey, with bling.

Perfect and low key, this bonnet is going to hunter land! We snuck in a little
bit of bling; the white yarn has sparkles :)

This bonnet was commissioned to match a saddle pad. I can't wait to see it
on a horse!

This is a great example of how customizable the bonnets are. This one is for
a Welch Section B pony. 

Love the royal and brown together. This one is for cross country!

Friday, July 3, 2015

Confidence; A Delicate Balance

Spoiler alert!!! I am not perfect.

Of course. No one is perfect. It's amazing how quickly you can go from feeling great about yourself, to feeling like you've been on a journey to nowhere and you've arrived there with a bang. I had that moment this week, and it was something I was not at all prepared for.

I love riding, dressage, eventing, and the never ending pursuit of knowledge. I am constantly reminded of how much I don't know, which is why I was surprised at my reaction to finding out I'm not God's gift to dressage.

Panda and I at the Debbie Clinic. Photo courtesy of Dusty Brown.


It went down like this. I was given the option to ride a notoriously difficult horse at the barn. I was really tired, and he takes a lot of work, but I've really been trying to take anyone and everyone up on the offer to ride different horses so I can further my skills. So weighing my options, to ride or not to ride, I chose ride. I know once I sit my hiney in the saddle I can focus pretty well and push through the wall of tired.

So we tacked up and I hopped on and we did a lot of walking. It was around 11 in the morning and already pushing 90 degrees so our workout was pre-planned to be pretty limited. The horse is quite difficult to get to come round in the walk so I left him on a loose rein, and when I felt we were ready, I picked up the trot. And everything unraveled. His ears were in my face. I was pulling instead of pushing. I couldn't keep him going. My hands were too high, and then too low. I couldn't keep my shoulders open while engaging my core. My right shoulder crept up like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, and even convinced my waist to start turning on every up post. I couldn't even keep my dang leg still.

My trainer is shouting things like, "Hands forward," and, "engage your core and push your belly button at him!" By golly, I couldn't do anything. And I was frustrated. Oh my gosh was I frustrated. Not two weeks before, we'd had a really good ride! I'd been working, while riding Panda, on the never ending battle I have with my right shoulder trying to make friends with my ear. I've also been working on my core, on my legs, on relaxing, on turning from the outside aids. All of it. And in one ride, I was back to feeling like I couldn't even post the trot.

Learning some good old fashioned classical dressage.
Photo courtesy of Dusty Brown
So I took a break and sat under a shade tree and absolutely cried my eyes out. I did some deep breathing exercises and tried to get my emotions under control so I could go back out there and try again, but I was devastated. It was like everything I had been working on and all I had been doing was for nothing. Like I was back at square one, and maybe even a little behind that.

I was scared too. Am I doing everything wrong? Am I ever going to get halfway decent at this? The AECs aren't far off and apparently I have to learn to ride all over again. But also, how did I get so overly confident? How can I avoid getting that way again?

But that's the thing about confidence. You've got to have it. I've lived a vast majority of my life without it, and it's not a life. You have to grow and nurture it. You also have to be aware that you have weaknesses and learn from them. Confidence isn't a bad thing. It's the inability to accept that you aren't perfect that is bad. You have to make mistakes to learn and you have to fall to get back up.

It's not that I haven't been working hard, it's that I still have more work to do. There will always be more work to do. If you don't put yourself in situations that will test your abilities, you will never find your weaknesses and they will continue to be weaknesses.

There's that awkward right shoulder. But at this point, we'd still come quite
a long way. Photo courtesy of Dusty Brown.
Life is a funny thing. Before I wrote this post I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to talk about this week. I was looking at my page views though, and saw that recently people have been looking at an old post of mine about how little I knew about dressage. I went back and read it and it made me laugh. I really knew nothing at all, but it gave me a wonderful perspective on how far I've come. Sometimes after a good knock to your confidence, you just need to change your perspective. As long as you don't quit, it will get better. They don't call it "hard work" for nothing.

Friday, June 26, 2015

Riding With The Stars!

I have had the great pleasure to ride with some phenomenal riders/trainers/coaches this past year. This post is a long time coming, but also constantly developing. When I started taking lessons with big name people I was a bit unsure whether it was a good use of my money or not. The first time I just figured I'd try it out to say I did it and see how it went. It ended up being a very positive experience that I wished to have again. From there I decided to try a clinic and the rest is history!

Joe Meyer
The first lesson I took from a big shot was Joe. One of my trainers had connections with him and brought him down in September 2014 while he was laying over nearby before the AECs. Panda and I hadn't truly mastered the canter, jumper turns, the half halt, keeping our heads while jumping, or turning in a 20 meter circle. If we're being honest, I still haven't mastered any of those things. Nonetheless, I decided to sign up for a semi-private with Joe. The girl I rode with had a beautiful, scopey, aging Warmblood mare who, apparently, wasn't on her game, although I couldn't tell. We muddled through some grid work and moved on to course work. I was advised to do circles when practicing courses at home if Panda decided to get anxious in front of jumps and rush them. We did a lot of circles in our lesson that day. I came away with a bit of a star struck feeling, as well as some homework about teaching Panda to canter and calm down and things like that.

Joe came back again in November, right before Thanksgiving, and I took another lesson with him. Although I'm sure he didn't exactly remember who I was, we didn't get told to go back and learn how to canter. We also didn't get stuck in grid work because he was scared I might die for a giant portion of the lesson. We were able to work on courses and really work on some technical aspects of stadium. We made sharp turns, changed direction, worked on lines, and mastered combinations. All while keeping our heads about us. We definitely needed to keep working, but we had obviously made some improvements since the last time he'd seen us. I don't know if I will be able to take a lesson from Joe again, as he hasn't made it back into our area due to the show season starting up, but if he does, I look forward to seeing him again.

Debbie Bowman
I believe it was the last weekend in November or the first weekend of December 2014 I was able to go to Houston with my dressage trainer and take a lesson from her trainer, Debbie. I have watched Debbie teach clinics and lessons before, but this was the first time I was able to ride Panda with her. This was a kind of dressage milestone for us because it meant our trainer felt that it was worth our time (and her time) and money to lesson with Debbie and that we could both really get something out of it. Debbie is a wonderful and very insightful person who is endlessly knowledgeable. Panda and I were finally able to trot around on the bit and look halfway like a dressage pair but our canter still left a lot to be desired.

So we worked a lot on the canter. On me, sitting like a sack of potatoes. It's been over half a year since that lesson and I'm only just now getting it, but I'm finally getting it. We worked on Panda staying calm in the transitions. We cantered more in that lesson than I had probably cantered all year. I got a lot of confidence from that lesson. Debbie really liked Panda and she and my trainer were able to form a better plan for him in the future. It is now the future, and I can say that the plan really has worked well! I am excited to lesson with Debbie in the future, after the AEC hype is over probably.

Buck Davidson
YES!!!! December 2014. This was my first actual clinic! I mainly did it because I LOVE BUCK DAVIDSON, and I love him even more now. For real. That's the reason I signed up for the clinic. I signed up for the Beginner Novice/Novice section too, so I could get more out of the clinic, and get more practice over the bigger stuff. Let me tell you right now, I got there on Saturday morning to watch some of the more experienced riders go and I was trying to guess which aspects of the exercises were going to be taken away to make it easier for us puny riders. The answer to that is a big fat NONE. None of the elements were taken away. All that was different was the height. So when I hopped on Panda and Buck came into the ring and told us to start by trotting into an X followed by 11 canter poles (some soon to be jumps) and an oxer at the end, forgive me if I heartily laughed and started bawling at the same time. I wanted to raise my hand and say, "Excuse me, my horse can't canter. Can someone please pull an ambulance around?"

But that's the thing about riding with the big guys. You paid them to be there. They don't know you. They don't know your baggage. They DO know how to recognize problems and correct them. They do know what the average event horse is capable of. And they do not put up with crap. Buck was super nice, explained everything, didn't shake his head in disgust all of our first times through the exercise, and was very encouraging. All of a sudden, I was going first! And I felt like I could do all the things! His belief in me made me really believe in myself.

Cross country day started the same way. I watched. Laughed and cried. Asked for an ambulance. And nailed the freaking zig-zag exercise the 3rd time through it.WHAT?! I couldn't believe it. I went first and set my mind to it and did it. Because that's the only option you have if you don't want to lose all the money you just paid and also be the laughing stock of the clinic. There is no making it easier. There is either do or don't. Then, we went off and jumped the ditches that always make me pee myself. Oh and did a double up bank to a giant down bank. I did more in that clinic than I thought I Was capable of.

But the best part was, Buck pointed out at the end that he could tell I was a bit timid but because I went first I grew more and more courageous. Another girl in the clinic was very anxious and he told her to try going first in order to be able to learn the most she could during our lesson, instead of being anxious for her turn the whole time. I thought he was so insightful. He cared that we learned things. He knew our names. The man could watch 4 people on course and talk to a 5th standing next to him and give you a stride by stride run down of everyone's go. I have already signed up and put my deposit down for his clinic this coming December.

Doug Payne
Doug effing Payne. That was the theme of the weekend. Doug effing Payne. And I mean that in the most respectful and enthusiastic way I can muster up. He was amazing too! I had a dressage private with him on Friday where he helped us with, you guessed it, the canter. He was very patient and took a lot of time to communicate effectively. He answered all of my questions with patience and no eye rolling. He liked Panda a lot and said he gave me very good efforts.

The absolutely monumental part of our clinic experience was Saturday. 2 of my friends came to watch and it was sprinkling on and off. We worked on an easier version of his famous circle exercise, a small gymnastics, a skinny, and finally a course. It was not as immediately frightening as Buck's course, but it became apparent that I needed to stay human when I couldn't get my distance or keep my leg on through the gymnastics. Then the crazy part. I cantered up to a green fuzzy roll top and Panda refused. He actually refused about 5 strides before the roll top but I decided to do nothing about it and ended up falling off! My first fall off panda in a bit over a year of riding him. I had really become quite nervous about falling off because I hadn't fallen in quite awhile. So when I landed on my feet laughing out of relief, everyone wanted to know what kind of crack I was smoking. Once that was out of the way we got on with the course and everything went decently smooth from there.

Cross country day was pretty straight forward. Oh wait. Except I was keeping it on the DL about my fear of banks when someone asked if we could work on them. So we went up banks. Then we went down banks. Then we went up a bank to a down bank. Then we went up a bank, bounce, to a verticle. Then we went verticle, bounce, to the down bank. I felt like every time it was my turn I needed a new pair of breeches. But I tell you what right now, Doug was a lot like Buck. He knew we could do it which helped me do it! And I was beaming with delight when we successfully did all of the bank exercises with only minor technical issues. Of course, Doug is always one to up the ante. So we moved to the training level bank. Lord have mercy. He made a little course of novice level houses with the down bank somewhere in between. It was optional. But when is anything REALLY optional? I mean if I had said no, he would've been fine with it. But my first, middle, and last names are competitive, so no was not really a word I could use and sleep well at night after that. So I did the house to the bank and Panda was a rock star. Wow. Anything else Doug threw at us that day paled in comparison to the fact that I just leaped with my horse off a cliff of doom. Seriously. Although we did work on the ever famous scary ditches. Which went well. He's coming back in November but I'm not sure I can swing a clinic with him this year because...

I have signed up for a clinic with Karen O'Connor a month before the AECs for prep!!! It's at Texas Rose, where the AECs will be held! And it's almighty expensive. And I've chickened out a bit and only signed up for beginner novice because I heard she can be tough. I'm so excited and will definitely be posting an article about that after it is over in August. Panda and I need to go school some cross country before that happens so I can regain a bit of my tenacity. I don't have a lot to begin with so I need every bit I can muster up. Stay tuned for lots of exciting AEC updates, hopefully next week!