A Horse is a Horse Of Course... I'm Not Sure

This has been a blog post a long time in the making. For the past few months, ok, let's be real; for my whole life as a mommy of animal children, I have felt completely inadequate. The guilt trips I take myself on would make people on a 14 day cruise around Jamaica and the Bahamas jealous. They can never have enough stuff, or the right stuff, or good enough stuff. You can only imagine how that fuels my fire to work three jobs.

In general, as a person, I am not "stuff" oriented. I have never had anything handed to me and I've always worked for the things I've wanted. Before this round of horses I spent my days running with my dogs, watching Sponge Bob and playing a LOT of spider solitaire (I'm serious, late nights of difficult emotional struggles with that game). I was happy with the minimal apartment I shared with my two big dogs. They had everything they needed and far too many things they wanted while I lived off a slow running computer and ramen. At this point in my life I was guilt tripping myself about the time I wasn't spending with the dogs. As you can imagine, I got over that pretty quick when the hooved animals bashed their way into my life again.

While I am here to tell anyone that any animal requires a lot of time and money, I am also here to tell you that what dogs require and what horses require are from two totally different planets. I thought the list of things I wanted for the dogs was extensive and then, all of a sudden, I had a list of stuff I want for the horses and it is literally like comparing a magazine to a dictionary in both quantity and quality. A magazine has cheap fad content with a lot of gaudy and unnecessary pictures while a dictionary is rich in language and text. There are only so many collars and leashes you can buy for your canine companions. Even if you're showing them, your equipment is minimal compared to a horse.

This afternoon we were introducing a family who is thinking about buying their daughter her first horse to the needs vs wants world of horses. In all honesty, the needs are not as extensive as a non horse person might think. At the minimum it's feed, water, shelter, hay, buckets, halter, lead rope, farrier, vet. Some of these are one time buys and some of them are reoccurring expenses but they are not, or don't have to be, the thousands of dollar a month hobby that some people make it out to be.

Then we started showing them tack. And brushes. And gels. And lotions. And glitter. Ok, maybe not glitter. But we got down and showed them the darker side of horses. The "wants" side of horses. The bottomless pit, the endless abyss, the labyrinth of nonsensical items on which you can spend your hard earned cash. Apparently during this part of the speech I was extremely vocal because I was told I was the "wants" girl.

Like I said, I don't think of myself as a stuff person. But I do want the very absolute best for my animals. Maybe this does, in fact, make me a stuff person but surely my intent counts for something right? I can't have my boys walking around without blankets and halters and leads and saddles and bridles and saddle pads that are not as good as someone elses! They'll be devastated! I want them to be comfortable and happy. I want their needs fulfilled and their wants too! My dictionary thick list of stuff is all for their benefit. They want it! Right? RIGHT?! Guilt trip initiated about how I'm a bad mom, the horses aren't happy, life will not go on, etc, etc.

Excuse the dramatic turn, but my friend posted a quote on Facebook yesterday that made me realize it was time to write this post. I'm not sure if it's his or he borrowed it from someone else so I will copy it as his:
         "The best feeling in the world is realizing that you’re perfectly happy without the thing you
           thought you needed the most" - Jay Blanton

While I both agree and disagree with this statement, it made me think really hard. I think that wants are placed in our lives to show us our direction. I think there are things that are reasonable to want because we were all programmed with different passions and desires and also with different life outcomes. I also believe that a vast majority of us have been inundated with media and fads. We are told what we want and don't want and, for the most part, we accept those things to be fact. Children no longer want to be astronauts and scientists when they grow up, they want to be Tyra Banks and "that guy from Mortal Combat."

This is not a post about how to raise children or how our world is on a downward spiral to food stamps and government aid, it's about wants! My most recent guilt trip has changed focus from what I can't provide for my animals to what is appropriate to want and not want.

A horse is a horse. That's all. Whether you paid $1000 for your OTTB or $1,000,000 for your KWPN 4'6" jumper, they are both horses. At the end of the day they all poop in their water buckets and want nothing more than to eat grass in a pasture till their dying day. Whether you have them in a plain $30 hunter bridle or a $500 bridle with a flash nose band, they both spook at things they've never seen and throw shoes just to spite you. If you keep them in your backyard or at a $1000/month boarding facility they'll both still roll in the mud when given the chance and snag their brand new Weather Beeta blanket on that piece of fence you've fixed 10 times.

There are definitely times and places where horses are not happy. Extreme cases of neglect, abuse, and abandonment are never good places for horses. What I realized is that I do not think I can live without horses in my life, they are my goal, my passion, and my purpose; but I CAN live without that $3k cross country saddle or the $200 leather grooming halter I love so much. When Cash whinnies at me when I roll up the driveway it's not because I spent extra money on his blanket or bought the more expensive polo wraps, it's because I feed him, love him, groom him, and make an effort to bond with him every day. Your want list can be as long as your dreams can make it. As long as you realize what is really important and don't get lost thinking you aren't good enough because someone else has a better saddle than you. Nothing can replace desire, talent, and drive.

I will continue to keep my want list and get the things I can when I can, but I will no longer be consumed by the fact that I don't have all of those things right now. Work with what you've got and don't ever get complacent. It's ok to want more, it helps us get where we're supposed to go. Just don't stare at your wants so long you get down on yourself and give up. Use them as motivation and enjoy the moments as they're given to you!