How to Sell a Horse: A Checklist For the Misguided Wannabe "Horse Person"

Ever since my friend Amanda lost her precious Belgian/TB mix Ginger, (see RIP Ginger post) we have been on a Facebook/Craigslist/Internet in general manhunt for a new horse. Ok, I have. She's playing it cool. I'm looking at horses for her, she's looking at horses for fun. Fun is a nice word to use for the jaw dropping stupidity we see on a daily basis in today's so-called horse market, especially in the Bryan/College Station and surrounding areas.

We have, without necessarily meaning to, compiled a short "Selling a Horse for Dummies" list to try and help the well-meaning but ill-knowledged horse person. It is a bulleted list as it tends to make things easier to read (and also I don't like making 2 sentence paragraphs. Thanks 4th grade writing teacher). This list is by far not comprehensive. It is targeted at the 13 year old girls selling their horses on Facebook and for the family who ended up with a horse or 4 in their backyard. Obviously competition horses are going to be differently priced but those horse people seem to know what they're talking about and don't require an idiot-proof list...

• Your flat, baseline price should be at $0. Slaughter houses are not operational at this time in Texas so there is no minimum price for horse meat (meaning you can't say that if this horse doesn't sell, the slaughter house will at least give you X amount of dollars).
• Is your horse a REGISTERED breed other than Quarter Horse, Paint, Arabian, or Thoroughbred? Those breeds, even registered, are a dime a dozen. So let's say you've got a REGISTERED Hannoverian, Knabstrupper, Holsteiner, KWPN, Selle Francais, or something of that nature. Add $600 for pure rarity, breeding, and registration fees. If your horse isn't registered, go look into that. If it can't be registered, add $0 and so far you've got a horse worth $0.
• What does your horse know? Has it just been weaned but has been messed with quite a bit as a youngster (and also, see above rant for this to qualify)? Add $200. Is it a 2-5 year old and green broke with the skill to stop, start, steer, and transition between all three gaits? Add about $400. Give or take some depending on the level of knowledge and training the horse has. Is your horse trained to do a specific job and to do that job well and consistently? This is a hard price range to define. Grand Prix show jumpers and dressage horses have gone for millions (this also factors into account breeding, potential offspring, and several other factors but still, a job is important)? For the sake of discussion we're going to assume you have a horse trained to do schooling shows (and has competed and done well). Add around $2,500. I am talking a horse that I could jump on and, with a little get to know you time, I could take this horse to a show and do well on it within 6 months.
• Is your horse currently in foal? To a well respected stud? Do both the mother and father have papers that you can hand directly to a buyer when they hand you the money? Add $500.
• Can your horse legitimately and safely carry a child/beginner around? Before you answer that question, I mean with a saddle, bridle, and no leadrope attached to an adult that the horse is scared to death of. "Kid Broke" seems to mean to most people that they used their 6 yr old daughter as a guinea pig once when they were out in the pasture and found out that their 1 year old horse doesn't buck when a 20 pound child sits on it screaming. If it's this kind of broke add absolutely nothing. $0. What it should mean is that if my lesson student yanks on the reins and kicks the horse in the side at the same time, your horse will read between the lines and trot slowly forward. It should mean that if they lose their balance, the horse will stop, not run. It should mean that leaves, dogs, cats, lunge whips, screaming moms, water bottles, and a calf will not phase this horse in the least. IF this is your horse, add $1000. $1500 if that same horse is suitable for an advanced rider and won't bore them out of their mind.

Now for the list of things that do NOT add value to your horse... If you didn't read the list above, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, for everyone reading your ad's sake, read this one.

• Color doesn't matter. I don't care if your pony mare is paint and all of her splotches are in the perfect shape of a star. I don't care if you invented a new zebra stripe color or if your horse is completely pink. I mean I don't want a chestnut horse, but if I find one that will do the job in my price range, the fact that it's chestnut will not deter me from trying it out. Let me say this again, color doesn't matter. And neither do markings for that matter.
• Photoshopped ads do not up the value of your horse. Don't pay someone to make one. If you can do it, have fun. If someone tells you they can get you an extra $500 for your horse it's probably because they're better at writing ads than you, not because they can do a drop shadow around the outside of your photo.
• It seems like common sense, but if you can't spell or don't know a lot about horses, don't write the ad. You may not ever sell your horse if you spell lunge "lounge" and if you have a 15.8 hand horse. If your horse has "no bade habbits" and "trots real good" please let your kid proof read your ad. They're probably a lot closer to the part of school where they learn vocabulary and grammar than you are. Some helpful hints: your 2 year old horse is not "broke broke", hands are measured in 4 inch intervals (15, 15.1, 15.2, 15.3, then 16), and a picture of your screaming child sitting atop a horse, bareback with you holding the horse by the halter does not prove to anybody that your horse is kid safe. It does leave us with some questions about your parenting styles though.
• Some exotic mix of horse breeds does not make your horse worth more money. Stop trying to make the "sporthorse" work. Basically, the horse is lucky it came out with straight legs and semi well put together. But I dare you to breed its parents together again. The well proportioned horse that stands in front of you is pure luck. The next baby will have a retardedly short neck, long legs, a short back, and a draft horse head. Breeds have been developed through years and years of careful research. Just because you have a pretty stallion with a long mane and tail and a mare that you have to have a baby out of because she took you through pony club does not mean they should hook up. In fact, it never ever means that.
• On the same note, a draft horse is not instantly worth an extra grand. Ever. Please see first bullet point WAAAAAAAYYYYY up at the top. There are no slaughter houses. The only way your horse is worth more than a regular horse is if you get paid per pound. That isn't an option right now so get down off of both your literal and proverbial high horse and realize that all you have is a horse that eats twice as much and requires special tack, trailer, and living quarters. 
• A poorly made video may actually make people run screaming from your horse. Make sure your horse knows what your ad says it knows. Make sure the rider in the video has a solid leg and seat and can make the horse do everything it can do. Make sure the ring your riding in sends the best message to potential buyers (don't advertise a grand prix jumper and then be riding in a field with holes and tiny Xs).
• The last, and final one, that no one seems to understand no matter what is that LOVE DOESN'T MAKE THE HORSE'S VALUE GO UP! Love doesn't make your grade bay filly worth $1500. Love doesn't make your chestnut TB gelding who knows how to w/t/c worth $4k. Love doesn't make your 24 year old seasoned but retired barrel racer worth $15k if they aren't useable (but it does make you a complete tool for selling it). Please be able to look at your horse objectively. And if you can't, realize that and have someone else do it for you. Honestly, think how it looks to a buyer: "For sale, 4 year old Morgan/Percheron mare. Green broke. Not quite cantering. Still working on steering. $4500." Come on guys.

I know this rant is probably not going to reach the Bryan/College Station area that inspired it, but it's off my chest. Someone needs to really write a "Selling Horses for Dummies" book. I'll think on that. Till then I will just scroll by the horses that are 2 year old, money winning, kid broke Arabian race horses and send the 13.2 hand, paint colored Clydesdale for $10k ads to Amanda so we can both get a good laugh.

6 Month Update on Cash

Cash and I began a partnership almost six months ago. I didn't say it like that to be nostalgic or adorable. I rode him once, agreed to try him out for a week to see if we meshed, I felt like we did but it was rainy so we didn't get a lot of ride time in, and then quite literally my third ride on him was a 60 meter circle, a few bucks, and then an "unplanned dismount."  As all good horse riders know, you have to get back on, and I did, but it left me with some questions about "little black pony." So the next time we went for a ride (and many times after that) we would have a little heart to heart that was very one-sided and went a lot like this: "Cash, I need you to trust me and I need to be able to trust you. For this to work, we need to be partners. Will you be my partner today?"

In 6 months some would say we really haven't accomplished much (especially when you compare him to Marvel). I'll tell you one thing though, Cash is a whole different horse from the spooky pony he was 6 months ago. There were some moments when I didn't even think we would make it as far as we have today. I'm so excited to see how far he can go and continue to document our journey to see how far we've come. For now, I've gone into detail below on some of our major milestones.


Trust was really hard to earn from him. REALLY hard. I would take him out to hand graze him, shoo a fly away from my face, and watch as he flew the complete opposite direction from me, sometimes dragging me along a few steps. At first I thought to myself, "surely not! This horse isn't scared of me moving my hand! Perhaps there's a random tarp or trash bag or cat or tumbleweed that happened to blow by when I itched my nose." But no. There was no random scary thing causing him to two step away from me like I was a guy with bad BO asking a girl to dance. It was just me. To date, we've ridden with about 10 other horses in an arena, walked over a tarp a few times, ridden in a rain storm, and had fly sheets and masks put on without much of a fuss. I can tell he knows who I am, and although he's still wary, he's willing to let me mess with his head to an extent. I have to remember to respect that and not push him too far.

Mounting gave us several issues. The first being his need to shoot off like a bucking bronco at the finals in Vegas the second my bottom touched the saddle. If I tried to find my right stirrup he took that as a cue to go. Fast. Once we worked those kinks out (and we did work them out) we had to climb the next mountain which was standing still for me to get on. He squirmed and wiggled and circled and did everything but patiently wait for me to be ready to get on. You could tell he was anticipating something negative when he saw me, ready to ride, approaching his side and gathering my reins to get on. Winning this battle took a combination of a TON of slow, easy, non-threatening rides and some ground work. I don't know what this poor horse went through while his previous owner was away but he was not having a good time.

Riding him was interesting. He's got a lovely forward walk that makes Marvel feel like a sloth. For nothing short of a month we walked. Only. Everywhere. He wouldn't let me put leg on him. When I spoke he would either shoot out from under me or stop dead in his tracks (and you could never tell which one he was going to do). He was scared of everything, bushes, trees, sand, shadows, dogs, me talking, parked trailers, round bales, seriously everything. Slowly I worked on desensitizing him. We started in the round pen with me hand-walking him over every inch of sand. When he was calm in the round pen for about 5 good rides we graduated to the small arena. We made circles till we were sick with dizziness. It was a good 3 months till we moved into the large arena. But all the work paid off because once the jump field was ready we went right in and trotted like he'd been doing it his whole life.

Speed is a problem for us. Leg or kissing sounds activate him like a trigger word to a sleeper agent. It's like he doesn't even think, he just does and then thinks about it later. My philosophy is that if you can't do it at the walk, you sure as heck aren't gonna be able to do it at the trot and if you can't do it at the trot, don't even let the word canter touch your lips. This approach seems to be a bit controversial among friends of mine but they've all supported me nonetheless. With some work we've gotten to where we can walk with good hand to mouth contact (before he resisted a lot) and we can trot on a nice loose rein. His head will still come up about as far as it can and he isn't very bendable or balanced in our circles but we're working on it. For now I'm happy that we aren't having a tug of war game where I am bound to lose.

Jumps actually don't seem to be a problem for him. We trot Xs like a well seasoned school horse. He's popped over a few cross country jumps no problem and he is very keenly aware of where is little pony feet are as trot poles don't phase him in the slightest. We haven't cantered any jumps yet but he's well on his way!


The plans for him have been altered since I've got two big willing Thoroughbreds to go cross country with. He's so adorable, well put together, and I feel he would be more comfortable jumping boring things in a non-threatening arena so he's on his way to becoming a money winning hunter pony! We need to still work on leads, canter to trot transitions, not spooking at everything he's never seen before, and getting him into some new situations to really test his mental stability. He's got a long way to go but those days when I end up in the dirt and wonder what I'm doing with this feral pony are few and far between. We've made so many other minor accomplishments that make me smile every day but are too minimal (and numerous) to list here.

I just love when I walk in the barn and hear his little, kind of feminine, neigh and when he watches me walk away and then come back with a saddle and he still looks calm and happy. That is enough of an accomplishment for me.

Horse TV and Freetime, 2 Things That Will Never Happen

So I'm sitting in front of my computer (obviously) with about 20 minutes left before I have to leave for work. Again. It is the eve of the American Eventing Championships (AECs) and I've only been home for about 2 hours. Thus, this post was born.

Currently I have three jobs; bartender, NAPA girl/delivery driver, and riding instructor. Surprisingly I like them all very much. I suppose student is a job too so toss that in there and that makes 4 huge time gobblers. I have gotten used to this hectic schedule and can't wrap my head around how to work an 8-5 job and be able to pay all the bills (I've tried that for 2 years and ended up with a second job 5 months into that 2 year career).

ALL I WANT TO DO IS WATCH THE AECs ON TV!!! Or Spruce Meadows, or Burghley, or Badminton, or Rolex, or Devon, or heck, even the Kentucky derby! I want a good 5 hour chunk of time to literally sit on my couch, eat a package of oreos, drink a gallon of milk, with a computer strapped to my lap playing some sort of horseback riding event that includes an English saddle, and a colostomy bag so I don't have to get up. I want to gain 5 pounds in that 5 hours and not bat an eye. I want a day where my muscles begin to atrophy because I haven't even blinked my eyes. I want people to call and text me so excessively that I throw my phone against a wall and then they are forced to come by my house, from which I will instantly send them to the store for more oreos and milk. I want to wake up to a hushed conversation between my boyfriend and my parents about how I've lost the will to live and how they are planning an intervention. All from one day of laziness.

But then I sit back and evaluate my life, and my schedule. I look at the places in my week where I have free time and realize that, although it doesn't occur in 5 hour or day long chunks, it does, in fact occur. Which leads me to wonder why I don't feel like I have any free time...

With three big, hairy, energetic, loveable dogs, a lot of my free time is spent making a fourth dog (aka, sweeping enough hair for a fourth dog EVERY SINGLE DAY). It is also spent clipping nails, fighting fleas, washing dog beds, and vacuuming. So I guess this encompasses cleaning the house too. :)

Then there's homework. I definitely definitely definitely don't spend as much time on that as I should. And a lot of school work happens when I get the good idea to check due dates right before bed and realize that night is the due date for a quiz. OOPS! Not recommended child readers!

Work obviously eats up quite a bit of time. On average I'd say I work 45+ hours a week. That is not a complaint. For the longest time with a full time job and a part time job I was miserable. These jobs keep me busy, make me money, and make me happy! I hope everyone can experience a job that makes them happy.

Then there's the barn. Let's not add up the time spent out there. It's a never ending pit of time eating monsters that drag you in and you have to fight your way out using any kung fu means necessary.

I am not the kind of person that needs a lot of free time no matter what I might beg and plead for. With more than about 2 hours of free time I find something that needs to be clean, or the dogs have shed again everywhere, or I can't take a nap, or I start going stir crazy and have to get out of the house before I start drawing on walls!

Hopefully one day I can cut back to one well paying job with time to ride and be with my dogs as well as show. I think I'll always teach riding lessons but that doesn't count as a job to me. Until then I'll have to watch YouTube clips of the highlights of the events I wish I was watching and eat an oreo every now and then for posterities sake.

Lessons for a Lifetime

So everyone has their list of things horses have taught them or have the potential to teach you. I have to admit, it's been done in so many ways I don't know if there's any new way to do it. The thing is, it is truly amazing what horses, or any animal for that matter, can teach you and every person has their own experiences. A horse has an uncanny way of sizing you up, figuring you out, and putting you on your bum in the dirt and he does it the second you step into the aisle.

I have had such an emotional roller coaster of a journey to this point in my horse career and I owe so much to my four legged friends. So yes, basically this is a list of lessons horses have taught me, but really it's a tribute to the horses who have gotten my bum dirty.

• If you don't laugh you'll cry. Especially after thinking in your head how long it's been since you've fallen off your horse or how brave your horse has been over every obstacle you've thrown at him and then you land on the other side horseless.
• Money can't buy you happiness. I've always slept better after a good stall cleaning, bucket washing, mane pulling, arm numbing grooming session day of work. Some people call that exhaustion, but when you pay for all of those things to be done for you, you're missing out on a huge part of what it means to own a horse. It makes me endlessly happy to know my horses are happy!
• Wear your helmet. Always. Remember what I said about dirty bums? Those come with bruises if you're lucky, comas if you're not. I don't care if Tonto is standing still, you're in an arena barely bigger than his stall, and you've been riding in that arena for Tonto's whole life. You don't know what wild hair he's got up his hiney. Sometimes shadows are scary! Sometimes there's a monster on the other side of that fence that no one can see but Tonto! Wear your helmet. Period. They don't make you bullet proof, but it's amazing the things your head controls. Like movement, speech, thinking, recognition, coordination, emotions, etc. You need all those things to live your life independently of a feeding tube and a paid bed pan emptier.
• If you love something, for heaven's sake, don't let it go without a good reason! I've lost two horses because I didn't have the nerve or the financial independence to fight for them. The tragedy of these two loses kept me away from my passion for years. I am not saying keep every horse you buy, that's impractical. I am saying, don't give up. Don't think that luck is on your side and everything will work out by magic. It won't. You are in control of your own fate and destiny and if you've got something good going, fight with all you've got to keep it.
• A day without sweat is a day wasted. Even if it's 30 degrees outside and everyone is wrapped up three layers thick. Clean a stall, clean some tack, ride a horse, brush a horse, get your blood pumping! Don't let a day go by without DOING something. (Side note: it's ok to have an occasional sick day. You do a lot of sweating when you're sick so it counts!)
• There is always a storm before the calm. Inevitably you'll be working on learning something new. It won't be easy for you or your horse. I can promise you one thing above all else; it will get frustrating. It might get aggravating and eventually it could get maddening! Perseverance is the only option. It'll probably get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. Sometimes you might need to take a step back. Hop on a schoolmaster who knows what to do so you get a boost in confidence and patience. But don't give up!
• Get scared. I believe Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Do something everyday that scares you." I'm not an adrenaline junkie and I feel like doing something every single day that scares you is excessive. But I do believe in the idea of her quote which is that you need to push yourself. If you stay in your comfort zone you'll never go anywhere. There is a delicate balance we ride when we are on a horse. Horses can sense how you're feeling and if you're scared you probably aren't ready but if you've got those butterflies going in your tummy and you've done your homework, push yourself!
• Kill 'em with kindness. You can't do anything with a horse if you don't have it's trust. Well, ok, you can do quite a few things but at the end of the day, at the top levels of competition, you have to have a relationship based on trust built with your horse. Beating, scaring, ignoring, or not caring about a horse will get you nowhere. A horse will do what's easy and not a whole lot past that without a good reason. Be kind, firm, and respectful and you'll go far.

I have ADD, and at this point I'm sure my readers have developed it too so there might be a second installment at a later date. Let horses teach you the lessons you are meant to learn. They are generally kind teachers who cater their lessons to your personal needs. So don't get a big head about your riding style unless your pants are ready to go through the laundry.

Surrounded!

Family means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. I hope that, like me, it's mainly a good thing. The best part of a family is that it comes in all shapes and sizes and very rarely does it consist of all blood relatives.

The barn is no exception. Coming from a bigger show barn I had a lot of friends. The moms took care of us all by bringing hot chocolate when it was cold and water when it was hot. They held our horses while we ran to the bathroom and ran off to find crops or spurs when we needed them. Still, I would not have called them my family per se.

I was at that barn for a good 5-6 years. I developed a lot of skills as a rider and had fantastic times with the girls I rode with. I wouldn't trade it for the world! I wouldn't be where I am today without every last one of the experiences I had there.

I have been at the new barn for almost 6 months now. It feels like a lifetime. I never in the world thought I would fit in at a place where Western saddles outnumber English saddles 3 to 1. Or a place that didn't have jumps when I first got there! Yet here I am.

I am part of an awesome family who works together for a common goal; to better ourselves and the barn. They put their horses first (which makes them as horse poor as me!). They see the barn as the therapists office and the people there as the therapists; which can be good and bad.

They aren't afraid to tell you what you're doing wrong. This is so extremely critical in a family relationship. It needs to be done right, but no matter what, it needs to be done. There is nothing said behind backs that wouldn't be paraphrased and said back to you at some point or another.

Family is always family. No matter the distance, no matter the hardships, there's a connection that can't be broken. They've got your back and you can count on it. They are people who you can never truly say goodbye to. If you haven't experienced this kind of family, I pray that one day you get to.

Tomorrow part of ours leaves us for awhile. So until next time we all wish them safe travels. But just until next time.

In it For the Long Haul

Marvel is an exceptional horse. Exceptional is a word whose meaning is a chameleon. He is so chill and loveable and yet so willing and spunky too. He learns everything I throw at him quickly. Even more impressive is that he's only been a gelding for 4 months of his 5 year life. I don't think he's going to be my Olympic horse and he probably isn't even going to be my Advanced horse but in his own way he is exceptional.

I will keep him forever for a multitude of reasons, the main one being his feet. Every vet who sees him looks at me, looks at him, and looks back at me with a skeptical look (by this point I've told them he's my eventing horse) and informs me in their most sincere voice that "There is no way I would've passed this horse in a vet check with those splay feet." While I thank them for their extremely knowledgeable opinion, I keep on my stubborn way and ignore them.

But seriously, they aren't totally wrong. In the short time we've been training we've had several lay-offs due to random and unexplained lameness. The only problem is, the lameness has never EVER been in his front, splay, feet. So the vets aren't totally right either.

With front shoes on and supplements his front feet have withstood the tests of time, and footing. We did have a week off when he threw a shoe but that's to be expected. His back feet are what causes me so much heartache. And if we're sitting here being honest with each other, I personally think it's Marvel's love of a good day off that really causes us the most trouble.

For instance, this past Sunday was a gorgeous cool fall day. Perfect for a good ride in the pasture with friends. I hopped on and he hopped around. Lame as a three legged horse. While he exhibited some wind puffs, that's not unnatural for him and he had been stalled for the previous 2 days due to bad weather. Some walking always brings the swelling down and he has never had a problem. His back hoof wall was also chipped slightly but after checking pressure areas we determined it wasn't causing the head bob we were seeing.

Finally I looked at him, half asleep, foot cocked, saddle off, me in riding gear on the ground, tied up and being loved on and I wanted to stick him in the round pen and make him gallop till he couldn't stand. I'm pretty sure he decided that Sundays are his personal day off and if I feel like riding on a Sunday I can hop my happy hiney on some other, more willing horse. Ugh!

Dirty Marvel enjoying a day off

I'm not saying he's a liar and a faker. And I'm not saying I decided to ride him anyway to prove a point, there are a lot more areas he could be feeling pain in that we can't or don't know how to test for. But I am saying that this particular incident was really REALLY suspicious and I'm not gonna put it past him. He's got his leg wraps on, we've trimmed his feet, and today we're gonna test him out.

No matter what any vet says, Marvel will be my eventing horse! I know he can do it and the better part is he WANTS to do it. We just both need a bit more experience. :)

A School of Hard Knocks Lesson in Feeding Horses

You'd think feeding horses would be as straight forward as buying a bag of grain and a scoop. Viola! Throw a little hay at them. I mean if the cowboys could keep horses alive on pasture grass mine isn't gonna be that much harder to keep! WRONG. Negative, no, uh uh, think again you silly head ignoramus, nope.

Coming to this new barn brought me a lot more new things than I brought it. In a word (or two): Self Care. This is what people envision when you say you have horses. Muck boots, feed scoops, and occasionally some time to ride. Let me tell you something, there are some levels of education that we "Full Service" boarders miss on our way to the top.

Filling/Cleaning water buckets requires about a 2nd grade education. Gotta have enough concentration to get the job done, but the job is relatively straightforward and quickly accomplished.

Mucking stalls asks for a Jr High education. It's a bit more on the side of manual labor and also requires some attention to detail. If you're in charge of a horse like Cash, it requires some outside of the box thinking. Specifically about what to do with a horse that creates his weight in urine daily. Can anyone say shavings hog?

Cleaning tack brings us to a highschool grade level. Problem solving is factored into the equation. Many a late night I've spent proudly taking apart, cleaning, and putting back together bridles only to put them on my horse's face and realize I've attached the bit to the noseband part. While I may have the perfect bridle for an aardvark, my horse is not so appreciative and I'm not up to snuff on my aardvark riding skills.

Barn cleanliness is college. I don't care if you don't like the teacher you've got a whole more semester in front of you and you have to make an A! Or, in pony terms, I don't care that the aisle is 100 yards long and you'll have to empty the wheelbarrow 3 times, it's got to be done, ponies don't just clean up after themselves and a new boarder is coming to look at the barn in 45 minutes.

But then there's feeding. That's like, above and beyond PhD level. It's even surpassing post-doctoral research level. This is the puzzle of all puzzles. What should I feed my horse?! This begs several questions and brings up more!

• What WAS he eating? (and how will what he was eating and what I am feeding him differ because colic is only the wrong scoop of feed away)
• How much should I feed? (Based on activity level, stall vs pasture time, protein % of feed, etc)
• What should I feed?
• What if I want to change feed?

And lucky or not, horses aren't like humans, or dogs and cats for that matter. You can't get out your little pony scale every other morning and ask them to step on it, naked, not dripping wet from a shower, before breakfast, and track their own weight on a dry erase chart you'll hang conveniently in their stall. And even if you COULD do that, 100 pounds is child's play to a horse.

Horses will drop weight for a multitude of reasons (why can't we all be this lucky?!). Excessive work, stress, lack of forage or water, you looked at them the wrong way, they broke up with their girlfriend, or the horse's poop in the stall next door is nauseating can cause a drop in weight. And it seems like it happens overnight. Yesterday your buddy and you were watching Thunder Bolt graze talking about how he's going to be on a diet and tomorrow he's got sunken eyes and dips in his hindquarters.

Putting weight on a horse is right up there with climbing Everest and performing brain surgery, there are some that have the gift but others are more challenged. Once you've unlocked the code I've heard it's quite simple but I never had to worry about this and I'm a bit in over my head. Were I to really be climbing Everest, I'd be the girl they'd send back home after making it to the first base camp without any limbs because I wasn't prepared for the snow and got frostbitten.

So I'm off to do some research. I think I'm working on a pretty good concoction now but I need to go a little more mad scientist on it (not enough smoke and flame yet). If I crack the code I'll wikileak it out for y'all. Just keep an ear to the ground. And bail me out of Russia if my wikileak goes south.

Too soon? Here's to feeding horses!